…..of not giving her a chance to become an almost celebrity…
Disclaimer – these are totally my thoughts…I may be wrong..but I have a right to an opinion…
When R was about an year old, my SIL, RD, my MIL, R and I – we all had gone to Shoppers stop..and R was in my SIL’s hip…a lady approached her and asked her if she wanted to enter her baby into an ad for which they were auditioning babies…my SIL was pretty enthused about it, but told the lady that I was the mother and she needs to get my permission..
The lady came to me and I refused point blank…I told them no we are not interested..MIL asked me ‘why not?’ I said ‘ I dont want R to be in ads’
the conversation pretty much stopped after that because my MIL respected my sentiments or perhaps I was just over firm ( or even Rude to SIL and MIL) about it and RD always supports my decisions regarding R on such matters at least…
I dont agree to children being on TV or in movies…period.fullstop.
I know I may be wrong…but honestly I dont think they should be in a medium that does nothing..or hardly does anything to enhance the human brain. Again, RD will tell that I am very very extreme in my views. I may be…I dont deny that and I may get a lot of flak for saying this..but I dont agree to kids being on tv…
Amrita Rajan had done an interesting piece on kids on TV on Womensweb
I loved that piece…
What she says is so true.
I hate those reality shows which show children as young as 6 years dancing and singing on stage…
dont get me wrong…I am at awe at the talent I see…and I think its great that such talent is projected in the limelight..what irritates me the the judging, the melodrama, that surrounds this show..every week, one child is taken out of the show…
is that right? what are you teaching your child? that if you are not good, get out of it!
Dont give me the argument about thats how life is? Is 6 or 8 or 10 and 12 the right age to ‘learn’ about how life is…sorry, I dont agree…
I would not have had a problem if they had just showcased the talent..every week a new talent and then left it at that…but the kids who are selected are made to miss their childhood for weeks together, under harsh light, wearing make up which is not going to improve their skin in anyway at such a tender age and sometimes dancing on steps which dont suit their age…It gets on my nerves…why would you do that…even if someone is exceptionally talented, just get them again after a few episodes to dance on something new…
how can you ‘judge’ the talent of a tender child…all these kids learn is that life is a competition and you HAVE to perform by hook or by crook…its heart breaking to see the kids break down, have tears in their eyes when they are removed from the show and then sing that last song or do that last dance performance to perfection…it hurts me…and trust me I am not even the maternal types!
and then this trend of interviewing the teachers, grandparents, friends on how talented the kid is, how their child is going to win all competitions..why why why…why cant you just have a simple interview with people telling you some naughtily cute things the child did or something like that…why make it a big issue for the child..doesnt it add mental pressure on the baby..
and I have read about parents spending thousands of rupees trying to make their children get into such competitions…spending their live savings for a few hours of fame on the tv…do the kids even want that!
While I love to watch R dancing away without any inhibitions, I am not very comfortable with the thought of her dancing in front of millions of people, dressed in weird clothes and face caked up with make up..no sir, I am not ambitious that ways…not at all
or even fiction series…are the children who act in those serials even getting a childhood..while being talented is one thing, losing your childhood is another thing…they study on the sets, eat on the sets, sleep on the sets…one part of me feels do these kids know what is it to just do nothing in life, lie back and read a book without worrying about make up or just simply be a child and play pranks…may be again, I am wrong..the kids like what they are doing..and thats why they are doing it under no pressure, but somehow, I feel the innocence gets lost somewhere..if a kid is really good in drama, I would rather have them in one episode serials showcasing their talent instead of going into 3 year long serials…
I always wonder, what happens to the kids after the serial gets over…I mean for years you are used to being in spotlight and all that..do they come back to being real kids or do they suffer from depression and stuff…
R may not agree to me when she grows up..but I hope I bring her up in the right way so that she understands why her mom is not a big fan of limelight…
I dont think children should be under pressure…let their childhood bloom…why waste a childhood of fun for a few hours of fame?
R's Mom 
Kids talent – I respect totally but as you said
1.Pressure from parents as well as judges
2. Forced to do things which are in no way related to their age just to earn some votes
3. Missing/losing their actual childhood time
All these disturbs me. Some parents and judges make it really really bad as if their whole life depends on their child winning this competition!!
And the worst is sometimes the mindset of the child changes after seeing/experiencing so much of appreciation, aahs and oohs which is not good 😦
p.s. I am just telling all this from what I have seen. Sorry if I am wrong.
Why are you sorry…you are right in every point na…I dont know about the mindset changing..but it must affect such tender minds in some way na
RM, I totally agree with you.
I don’t understand the whole drama, kids weeping on stage, parents fighting for their kids.
I remember one such dance audition, kid with down syndrome was there and his parents wanted him to participate. He gave audition and he was not selected, I was feeling so bad for the kid.
Why parents don’t understand, what their child is going through.
oh God! thats so sad…I do end up feeling very bad for the kid 😦
heeeey , I am first!!!!!
You are so right in your observtaion and decision. I am sure R will understand it .
Even I feel sorry seeing poor kids made to perform in pressure and when eliminated feel dejected.
Its not a healthy system. Its on the contrary despicable .
At the same time , The kids in serial are so fake , mostly little talent and only cute faces qualifies them to be actors and imagine the impact of dealing with too much of attention and sudden devoid of it (attention) in their lives.
arey nahi Kirti..comment moderation on hai 🙂
I know I get worried on what will the kid be doing once the serial is off air!
Hi R’s mom,
I am the same. For Nov 14th, my daughter’s teacher asked me to take my daughter to a fashion show to represent the school, She said its a prestigious fashion show for girls. Who knows tomorrow your daughter can become a model! I controlled myself from yelling at her, and telling her sorry I am not interested and I am busy.
I want my daughter to remain a small five year old girl as long as possible. As you say my child has to be stressed about what pranks to play than to do the right steps to some vulgar music.
Hey Musica, you commented earlier on my blog na..seeing you after such a long time! happy new year 🙂
Fashion show for FIVE YEAR OLDS! please tell me its a joke!!!I cant believe it!
I totally agree with you.. While a little socialising is good.. I do goad Lil p to take part in public events. Forcing them or obsessing over it at such a tender age is not good. again these are my views.
But you are right..and I do agree with you totally 🙂
Girl! You should’ve been my mother’s daughter! She also feels more strongly about this that I do. But I kept nodding to this post on how the child NEED not particiapte in any TV Shows just because she/he has talent! I mean – its one thing to participate is schools or learn it as a hobby but the extent of exposure they get on TV is too much for a small mind to comprehend!
I dont even understand what makes even adults get into some of the bizzare things for their 2 minutes of fame on TV!
http://rushmechatter.blogspot.com/2009/10/attracting-attention.html
http://rushmechatter.blogspot.com/2009/01/all-for-5-minutes-of-fame.html
Ask your mom to adopt me :):)
mean – its one thing to participate is schools or learn it as a hobby but the extent of exposure they get on TV is too much for a small mind to comprehend!
– So totally agree
loved your two links 🙂
I stongly AGREE with your views. There was a girl in our building, she took part in DID (Dance India Dance-lil champs). She got rejected in the auditions, her mom told me she never danced after that,. There are many kids who are unable to accept failure. Thanks to ads like Bournvita and Boost which say “Race chahe bus pakadne ki ho ya kuch aur…har Race jitna zaroori hota hai”…is it really necessary.
Makeup…I don’t understand why some mothers do this. Last year on Samu’s annual day, all the participants had applied so much make-up and eye-shadow also. I have never used eye-shadow till date. There was a mom who asked me ” Samu ka make-up kyun nahi kiya..??? Stage pe thoda make-up hoga tho aacha dikhta hai…..” I felt like giving her one tight slap…(i am not kidding), but then just smiled and ignored her.
I need to write a post on this…a very serious and important topic.
you are RIGHt and R will be proud of you.
Hugs
Gayu
Gosh! I so feel for that little girl 😦
WHAT she asked why you havent done make up for a little kid..crazy crazy crazy!!!
you should give your views 🙂
I agree! while there is no dearth of opportunities today to unearth and showcase the talent, the reality shows are usually staged with all the voting out and squabbles among judges. And children surely need not be a part of such drama. A negative and unnecessary remark can cause irreparable damage to the child’s self-esteem. Of course there maybe shows that still operate on a low level exposure and steer the child in the right manner. Having said that, It is up to the parents to show level-headedness and keep their ambitions out of the lives of their children.
True..if the shows are done in an artful manner, it will push the child to the right direction..but these shows! Gawd!!!
Absolutely, RM. I’ve also wondered what pleasure parents derive from putting their children through such intensive training just so they can get a few hours of fame. I cannot bear to see any of these shows which feature kids.The melodrama, the cloyingly sweet(and obviously rehearsed) things they are made to say, the shockingly ‘adult ‘steps they dance to, the fist-pumping parents–drive me hopping mad. Why don’t they just let their kids be 😦
true most of the drama looks so rehearsed..infact even if it were natural my stupid mind would be like ‘arey yeh toh total reheased hai’ why dont they let their kids be – so true!
I totally totally agree with you. Have so much to say on this. Will come back later or maybe do a post instead 🙂
R, I am sure will appreciate it later.
oh I do want to hear your views..do that post fast 🙂
I restrained from commenting on this post all this while to see if there one single (logical) comment from a parent who could justify these child-celebrities at all! Alas.. I have forgotten that our blog world is filled with like-minded parents no?!
I wish I get to meet one parent (of the scores of them) who let their children get into these creepy stuff and hear their perspective. To really really know if, if at all, we are missing a point.
Should I even say that I second you, RM?! Completely.
I can understand what you are saying about meeting a parent who lets their kids do it…I should try searching for one..to hear their views 🙂
the last show for kids i saw has a huge prize – a villa for the winner. this boy came and sang, and the judges said “next time practice well and come”(they were kind, and are actually pretty uncomfortable when they see kids gyrating hips and singing vulgar lyrics) – and the boy immediately said “oh no. now the scolding will never end at home. my mom asked me to win the house and come!”(good for the boy, he was actually smiling when he said that. he has a perspective, which his parents have totally lost, i thought)
and this show now had an extra judge – he is a popular folk song guy – and when little girls sing songs with suggestive lyrics – he acts pretty weird – acts like those songs were aimed at him – and this eggs the kids on – there is a carnatic singer in the panel(Nithyashree), and it actually shows how uncomfortable she gets when things go this way – she usually tries to bring the discussion and feedback to where it belongs to – and the parents are usually beaming when all this kanraavi(unbearable things) happens.
I’m not opposed to kids being on stage/ TV, but im yet to see a show(save for those dwindling quiz competitions no body watches anymore) that treats kids like they should. I mean, when parents themselves don’t give a damn as to how much drama goes around an elimination – and how adversely it can affect their children – it makes me wonder!
Gosh! I dont believe that…how could a judge be like that…I am shocked to hear this…
I’m not opposed to kids being on stage/ TV, but im yet to see a show(save for those dwindling quiz competitions no body watches anymore) that treats kids like they should. I – RD will surely agree to you..he anyways feels I am too extreme in my views 🙂
I loved BQC…They dont show it anymore do they?
My thoughts too! I don’t mind kids appearing in ads, as they have huge demand and somebody has to meet them. But this reality TV shows, where kids get eliminated, acting matured is too appalling. This changes the mindset of the kids and affect they grow up. Remember Darsheel Safary’s rude reaction towards the media & people after Taare Zameen Par? Poor kid was too tired & bored, but it was reported as if the kid is a brat & lacks good upbringing.
yaa may be you are right about the ads…but some how Sree…I cant imagine children even in ads..because the more you promote your ads via children, the more the other children want to get it whether its affordable to the parent or not…you know its like a cycle….okie..now thats another post in itself 🙂
Commercialisation of the innocence of kids. I am completely against this concept 😐 Let kids remain kids….why spoil their innocence?
If that is the cost one pays to have one’s talent discovered, then I’d rather not let my kids pay it.
A lot of kids have pushy parents who try to realise their own starry eyed dreams through their kids. This is thoroughly unfiar and will take its toll on the kid.
There are other ways in which you can get “discovered” rather than by a reality show.
However there are kids who do ads occasionally (even as a past-time) but continue studies and being in school otherwise. I am ok with that, as long as it does not involve any strain on the kids’ part to go out of their way – away from studies, family, under stress etc.
yaa I guess you are like Sreetama..as long as the ads are not resulting in any strain on the kids part…its okie…yaa maybe both of you are right..but like I told Sreetama, sometimes I feel kids promoting products is not a very positive thing..its a separate post I guess 🙂
One of my aunts was approached to model her daughter for advertisements. They let her do it. The girl was around 5 I guess then. She posed for a poster of RMKV Chennai and also for an ad film of mobile phones. After a while, aunt told me that the daughter was not doing any ads or shoots any more. Why? – I quizzed. She said – Firstly, they give kids all junk foods, aerated drinks, chips, chocolates to attract them and get the child do all that they want to by bribing. Kids’ school plus our office hours are at stake. Also from what I observed the other kids, they get a sense of superiority at a very small age as they learn that they have begun earning money on their own.
I think your decision is right RM.
And by the way, why are you adding a disclaimer to most of your posts lately? Be rest assured that your readers will read your post regardless of the severity of your warnings…
OMG! I didnt know about the junk food and all that…and the superiority complex and all that Ufff!
Errr…so that people dont scold me later 🙂 not that you or Ashwathy need an excuse to scold me..you love me so much 🙂
It’s your blog, your post, your thoughts. Write what you want. We’ll take care of the disclaimers.
Psst…you know we will scold you either which way na! 😛
hahahah! yes I know you love me a LOT
Love your take on this, R’s mom, but you know, you are perhaps one of the few rare moms who would stand so firm about ‘letting kids enjoy childhood’ rather than pushing them into the celebrity world. This whole thing of stardom has more to do with parents than the kids themselves. People who want to achieve celebrity status but could not do so in their lifetime tend to live these dreams through their children. It is probably like forcing a child to become an ‘engineer’ when he/she clearly wants to do something else! Kudos to you!
No rey…I think most people in the blogworld are like me…like SnS wrote, she was waiting for someone to tell that they dont agree with me…but thats not the case na..everyone is agreeing to my outlook 🙂
But I so agree that the whole thing baout stardom has more to do with parents than the kids themselves…
yup I agree reality shows does steal away the fun of childhood.It rather instils in kids a feeling of comeptetion (in a negative way) and a race to go ahead .Kids sometimes does not even understand the meaning of competiton but are pressurized by all to practice and do better.I wonder what goes into their mind when they dont win.Does it create some kind of inferiority complex in them?Even the kids who win are they able to handle the fame and popularity?
So true…I agree to every word
Hi RM,
You are absolutely right that Kids gets affected in such rejections. Parents push their dream onto the child – I guess they want to feel proud and put that burden on these fellows. It is deplorable to see kids, moms and dad hugging, crying on TV for such silly competitions. The emotional drama is very well utilised by the reality shows. Had made a post about the same thing after watching one Singing episode –
http://goingagainstthetide.blogspot.com/2011/10/cute-and-innocent-reality.html
I LOVED WHAT YOU WROTE!
its sad na…how could the mother do that…
The emotional drama is very well utilised by the reality shows – so true
AGREE with you 100%…
I hate parents who put so much pressure on their kids .. and i have no qualms saying it out loud. the lure of money i will say and that too at the expense of their child .. is shameful ..
selfish they are why dont they go and do it themselves they know they are rubbish in that hence they push thier kids .. SAD
sorry if the comment sounds a bit strong …
no its not strong..just shows how strongly YOU feel about it…
I know all this make up and talent show and the weeping kids are so unnecessary. And you know people adore reality shows. I would like kids to be ambitious but making them to feel that was the end of their world like loosing a competition is seriously wrong. Childhood, innocence and everything is challenged.
Completely agreee…its unnecessary…but people do love seeing such stuff and I wonder why?
I agree with u R’mom on these long drawn competition. i wonder after sometime if the kid still enjoys their “talent” or do they just do it for the fame and recognition they receive.
Like u i say let the kids be free!!!
Oh totally..do they really enjoy their ‘talent’ thats so important na
I am with your here and all the way. Children are not performing monkeys (sorry for the term, but I feel very strongly about it) to go on stage and mouth and act what they are taught. Like everything else on TV,even reality shows are faked. They are stage managed but the child still goes through all the trauma of rejection and comparison. You are right and R will support your decision when you grow up.
but its true na…I didnt want to use that word ‘performing monkeys’ thought that would be rude 🙂 but you are right…everything seems so fake..so much that even if were the real thing, I would wonder why they are being overdramatic!
Completely completely true post
thanks dear
kids at reality shows.. gosshhh.. I agree with you RM.. Its not just about getting exposed to public in media I have also seen kids who talk way beyond their age.. Like a 4 yr old talking like a 15 yr old.. that gets on to my nerve quickly.. In this generation kids have way to many exposure.. Its the duty of the parents to choose the right and wrong.. You have done the good for R.. be proud momma…
Kids have too much exposure – I so agree to that Ani
I agree cent percent on the point of children being judged in the competitions on television..but tell me something there are competitions taking place in the school too,right? and there also there are positions like 1,2 and 3…for that matter even that is not correct! That’s why we yearn for a grade / ranking free education system till children start high school…while on this point-there is other view too to this that with ranks and grades a child gets encouragement for his hard-work
I just feel that it’s not a no brainer work to act ..I mean it also is a talent right? Just that I wouldn’t agree for parents pushing their children in this stream…I’ve known parents who wish that their kids gets the limelight somehow-which in my opinion is wrong,but at last to each his own!
Having said the above, if I would have been in your place I would too would have said no for my kid being included in the auditions!
I also detested that reality show..what was it’s name…it was aired on NDTV Imagine…yeah pati,patni aur woh that included children being handed over to celebrity couples..away from the parents 😦 how unfair!
WHAT! I read about it..havent seen it actually…crazy people I tell ya!
I agree SCribby..infact for the past few days R has started saying ‘mereko race mein first ana hai’ and when I told her second or third or just participating is good enough, she tells me ‘no no my friend said you should always come first’ Isnt that sad…as a parent, as they grow older, I realise that your influence on them does decrease while what the peers say becomes more important!
yes and that’s when the question you raised comes into picture-can we choose our kids’ friends,sigh!!! parenting is not a cake walk…in fact it isn’t a walk at all…it’s a marathon where we need to come first no matter what 😉 *see the coming first comes here too :P*
I know I know..marathon…total marathon!!!
All this aside, I am guessing R must have been such a good looking and eye catching baby. What with on spot ad offers and stuff 😀
hahahaha! I think R’s eyes are very attractive…but honestly Pepper, that lady was approaching anyone who had a baby on the hip 😉
Hmmm. I guess now that I have Zo, I should have an opinion on this!
I agree to a large extent, especially since the kids are too young to actually get into the mish-mash of competitions, losing, winning etc! However, like Nu mentioned, we do have that kinda stress in studies too, to a great extent!
In any case, my take is to let little Zo do what she pleases (apart from studying, which is a must), if she is really interesting in singing , dancing, so be it! If she isn’t, fine with me 🙂 There should never be pressure!
Agreeed….my point is there should be no pressure…Totally agreed 🙂
Totally agree with all that you’ve said, RM! You know I would blame the parents entirely for pushing their kids towards the so-called celebrityhood- overambitious parents who see nothing wrong in pushing their kids to achieving unjustifiable heights or fame , even stressing them out! I cant even stand when babies as small as a few months are brought into these serials as ‘Tulsi’s daughter or Tapasya’s son and made to cry for milk and some such rubbish. And if you look at those babies, closely RM, you can see that they would actually be bawling, obviously to go to their ‘real’ mums. My heart breaks then and at the same time I feel like raging at those parents who put their kids through such sorry situations!
OMG! I never thought of it that ways…its so sad na 😦
I absolutely agree with you RM… In fact me and mom also had discussion at length about how some parents push their kids to participate in these reality shows and then they are judged at such a tender age when they should be actually doing whatever they like carefree…. Its so annoying to see small kids stand in the middle of the stage and cry coz they have to leave the show… Sometime I wonder how they would be feeling when they know that the entire nation is witnessing them fail… Do they leave dancing or singing all together or do they strive harder to earn the fame… In any case they are loosing on their childhood which is actually the best phase of life…. Its really sad….
And R will definitely respect your decision and will love ensuring that she has a fun filled and a memorable childhood…. 🙂
like Gayu wrote, one girl just doesnt dance any more after being rejected at DID…it hurts so much to read all this 😦
How about those people who watch these shows? More people watch these shows than the amount that participates. Would draw the Anna Hazare analogy – let’s talk about the bribe giver and receiver because without either one, the other is useless.
I know..thats actually right na…because people watch such shows and they are popular..definitely the producers go in for more drama 😦
http://gsaptekar84.blogspot.com/2012/01/annual-day-or-beauty-pageant-audition.html
I wrote it…..
I commented..hugs
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