Our Car Rides

Dear R

Guess by now both you and I know that we will reach the daycare in one piece despite the fact that Amma is driving the car :)

Remember the first time I decided that enough is enough and decided to take the car to drop you at the daycare and park it there to run the the station! 

You asked me ‘Are you sure Amma? Do you know how to drive?’

I said ‘Arey I taught Appa how to drive! Of course I know how to drive!’

You looked at me in disbelief and said you would sit in the backseat with all the bags so that the bags dont fall off. I think you didnt want to hurt my feelings about being scared to sit in the front hehe!

We have been going for a month and a half and surprisingly instead of being scared, both of us seem to look forward to this time together!

We have sung songs together from Salman Khan ones to Senorita! I introduced to the few English songs I know off and now you are obssessed with ‘Country Roads Take Me Home’ and ‘Words’! We both sing the songs loudly as we drive along the 25 minutes journey. 

Sometimes we say our prayers but thats only on days you agree. In four months your Barodu thathi managed to teach you so many small shlokas but you dont want to pray most days. I guess I shouldnt be forcing you too much, at the end of the day you have a mom who isnt much the prayers type herself eh?

Some days we talk. Talk about everything under the sun. You surprise me with your logic at times. Sometimes you bug me with your questions. While going back home my standard questions include what did you eat at daycare and did you finish your tiffin and what homework do you have? While going to daycare the discussions are more fun. Friends school work social situations even Modi discussions dance song TV books comics papers studies eh? 

Sometimes we fight. Big time. I tell you to behave and you tell me I am a screaming mother. You say you hate me and I tell you to find another Mom. Sometimes I spend the time giving you gyaan on the ways of life and how being rude is not going to land you anywhere!

Sometimes we do paatu practice. I sing you sing and we sing together. You put the thaalam and goof up. I tap the steering wheel with my fingers…we both sing and stop together and laugh away :)

Sometimes we both are quiet. In our thoughts. I stop at a signal. I look back. You smile. I smile back. You smile again. The signal turns green and you point your eyes at the road. And our silence speaks volumes. Speaks of a mother and daughter who love each other to bits and know they will always be there for each other.

This will change from September when R2 joins us. I may spend most of the time looking at the road and her alternatively while you will have to spend your time entertaining her! Those will be fun days too…

But these are cherished days as well

Yours trying-to-be-a-cool-driver-like-Appa
Amma

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The Day This Metro Stopped

My Amma told me once that you realise the importance of something when you dont have it!

Last week the Mumbai Metro had a shut down. Just because Mr.Murphy loves me a lot (he does man he does!) I had to stay back at work for something important which HAD to go out… and I was pretty tired! But in the spirit of wanting to lose those piled up kilograms, I did my usual walk to the metro station from work. And spent that time talking to my mother on the phone.

I am very diligent that way you know. I use all the spare time doing something or the other…most importantly, eating. But we are not talking about all that eh?

Anyways just as I reached the entrance of the station I noticed a huge crowd there! Was telling Amma that dont know why its crowded…and I heard a guard say that metro is closed!

‘What what what’ I said…’what what what’ Amma asked thinking I was talking to her… ‘arey what?’ I went again and ma went what again! and I am like ma wait ma wait… ma was wondering what I was talking about about…

The guy repeated that the metro was closed… I asked him how on earth do I reach the station? and he looked and me and said I dont know..

Me: Aap metro kaise bandh kar sakte hain? 

Folks around me stared at me …but me being me looked at him in the eye and asked him again!

Him: Madam woh…

Me: woh kya woh, bhaisaab, metro bandh toh ghar kaise jayenge sab log? Boliye aap?

Him: errrr madam

Me: Ab kya? Mujhe toh bhaagna padega aur sab buses and ricks full hai

It was the confused and pained expression on his face which made me realise that I was talking to a guy who had no clue what I was talking about!

I looked around and saw th entire crowd staring at me….giving a sheepish grin to everyone and mumbling a loud sorry to the man, I walked away to complain to Amma only to realise that Amma had got bugged of my drama and kept the phone down !!!

PS – For all those who are concerned at this point about how I reached the train station – I WALKED!!! all the way!!!

for the usual curious lot, yes I did call back my Amma and complain !

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Updates of my Crazy Life!

R’s maturing and at times her questions, reasoning, tantrums and talks seem to flummox me big time. I am not cut out to be the mother of a growing kid, eh?

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One of the biggest achievements I have to record is the fact that I have started dropping R to the daycare by car. Driving it myself. After years of cajoling from RD and many many days of crying to rickshaw guys to come in the mornings to daycare, after years of tension and craziness, I decided enough is enough. I just took the car out one day and R and I started out to her daycare in it. RD just couldnt believe it but yes, I did it! Its been more than a month now, and the rains in the morning dont scare me anymore. I have the guts to drive from home to her daycare. Now to conquer a flyover. If I can drive on a crowded flyover, stopping and starting without going back, I can drive anywhere in the world!

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The brat went for a 15 day skating camp in summer. RD and I have been pleading to her to join the regular class. But for her, playing in the building downstairs is more important. RD and I tried all sort of tactics but she is steadfast on playing down. After a while, I thought, I should just let her be. For someone who believes big time in unstructured play, am I not pushing her too much?

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I have started learning music from my mami over skype. Every Saturday and Sunday, mami, I and R sit together and go through SA Re Ga Ma! Its fun and it also makes me relaxed. The MIL takes care of R2 when R and I sing…though we are pathetic in practicing and mami is too sweet to tell us anything…but its fun eh? Mami is the bestest teacher on earth as well :)

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R2 has started saying baabaaabaaabbaaa half the time she and R converse like bababababbaab as if they are talking to each other. R is over-loving towards her to be honest. Sometimes, I feel she will squeeze her like a lemon inside a lemon squeezer! R2’s skin is a big issue and now we have started soya milk for her…the poor kid is taking it nicely…but just because I dont like it, I feel bad for her :)

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I have slowly started eating outside food now…Today we are going to order pizza…after ages..and the very thought of that makes me want to dance :)

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R2 has stopped feeding on my milk completely…and no, it doesnt make me sad at all..to be honest, I am relived (okay, all the critics can come out and bash me up!!!) Its been 8 months and I am okay with her not taking my feed…I have had ladies passing their judgement on that as well..

Aap usko apna dudh dete hain?

Nahi, two weeks se woh nahi le rahi

Arey, dena chaheye..office jaane se pehele dena…

And so on and so forth…I just am turning a deaf ear to everyone…I fed R for 9 months and then R2 for 8 months…good enough for me!

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Travel is crazy as usual…getting into busy locals, running to catch the metro, rushing to walk to the office in 10 minutes…its all making me tired…but I still manage to get up the next day and go to work..sometimes, I surprise myself..really!

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R and I made an eggless banana cake from this recipe. It turned out awesome…I will post the pics soon :)

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One of the things I want to start doing soon, is read the blogs I used to read earlier…unfortunately google reader stopped and I dont remember my feedly password :( But I really need to start…

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More on the R front later…Thank you for reading me despite the fact that I am highly irregular…I hope to start being regular in this space soon :)

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How I Failed Trying To Raise a Reader

reader

I adore books. They are my favorite only next to food and sleep. When my daughter was born 7 years ago, I wanted to raise her to be a reader. You know someone who reads and reads and reads and doesnt even bother answering anyone. Someone who picks up any book and sits in a corner and reads all the while. The one who needs no one else but books for company. The one who wants books for her birthdays. The one who is okay going anywhere as long as she has her book along with her. The one who gets excited on seeing new books. The one who thinks that books are the best friends one could have!

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Dear Brats

You have taken over my life completely. Appa and I have no time for each other. Really! And thats not a good thing. the only way we communicate with each other is via whatsapp! I wonder what couples did before whatsapp and multiple kids!!

I am not complaining though. Its just a phase and hopefully it will pass soon and we can ‘Do’ things together as a family. You know take vacations, go out for kulfis and golas after dinner, go watch a funny play, attend a book reading, generally have a lazy sunday watching something funny on TV. Yes, I am so looking forward to these family things you know.

R2, am just waiting for you to grow up a bit more, gal. Its like we want to do things, but then we remember oh, you are too tiny to do anything at all!

You have been sick for the past one week, and it has been heart breaking to see you spend sleepless nights with your skin errupting into rashes. Your appetite is an all time low and you have even stopped feeding on my milk in the night, no matter what I do. The only person who can wriggle a smile out of you is your Akka. The only person who can make you take out that gummy smile. You have lost weight (Appa says, its a big percentage considering your overall weight hehe)

You dont seem to like me much. Whenever I greet you after coming back from work, you just stare at me, give a nonchantly shrug of your shoulder and get back to doing whatever you are doing. Errr..thats a bit harsh on my barely existent maternal love, but guess, you are one of a kind eh?

When you broke into rashes, I told the doctor, but but, my older one never had such issues. He told me ‘you have two kids and they ARE DIFFERENT!, dont expect the second one to react exactly like the first one to any situation. They are different’

I must admit in 7 months of your existence, this is the first time, I realised it really! Guess you are like your Akka in a lot of ways, but unique otherwise.
R, you have to let me cut your hair babes. Its getting on to my nerves. Everyday we have a fight. EVERY.SINGLE.DAY! God knows why you think you have hair like Elsa and keep putting that 1.3532 inch of hair in the front from the back, as if its some 100 metres long…sigh! Girl, really, I am dreading to handle you in your teens…

You are your sister’s best friend but fight so much with her. Amma, you are always only doing R2 R2 you tell me and when I let her cry for a while because I am doing something to you, you push me towards her saying ‘Amma why are you making her cry, go go go to her’

Kid, you sure confuse me a lot!

Your behaviour sometimes, is appaling, but at times, you are the chammtest kid on earth…

Both you girls are getting very close to your Appa. Which makes him happy..and hey makes me also happy :) Go trouble him while I relax with a book and a filter kaapi in hand!!

Nothing much to add, I have tons to write, but just no time. I will try and squeeze in a letter once a while.

I love both of you a lot

Amma

I love my Akka and Akka loves me too, she squeezes me as if I am an orange, but I still love her

I love my Akka and Akka loves me too, she squeezes me as if I am an orange, but I still love her

Give me those chappals they are my favorite!a

Give me those chappals they are my favorite!

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Giving it Back to the Society

This blog has become a silent place. I have tons to write but no time to take the effort. Despite downloading the app on my phone, I dont seem to have the energy left to write.

R and R2 keep me busy and my job is ensuring whatever bit of sanity I had left, is gone. R2 has started bout of illnesses and my nights are sleepless and days tiring.

The purpose of this post is however, not to crib. Its to ask you folks for donations!

IMC is planning to raise Rs.5000 for a bridge school at Bengaluru.(http://www.indianmomsconnect.com/2015/06/24/giving-it-back-to-the-society-raising-funds-for-a-good-cause/)

The lovely Swaram was kind enough to facilitate this while the nice folks at Pratham Books thought we were worthy enough to ask us to do a campaign!

http://www.donateabook.org.in has so many organisations who have agreed to raise funds to get books for kids! Gives me so much hope :)

Anyways, here is the link to our donation page – https://donateabook.org.in/campaign/31

Any amount you give will be a value addition! So please do loosen those purse strings so that the kids in the bridge school get to read some awesome Pratham Books.

And I promise to return as soon as my world comes to normalcy.

Thanks to all of you in advance :)

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Dear R

You turned SEVEN!! I mean Seven is an awesome number you know…seven seas, seven sur notes, seven colours of rainbow, seven whatever (Ma is bad with numbers re!)

But wow, thats an awesome age to be in..trust me I personally feel seven to twelve is like the bestest age to be in..you understand everything, you are young enough so you get your way and you have no worries in life including studies and you are old enough to enjoy little joys of life, whether its slurping on an expected ice cream your thatha got for you in Goa, or beaming with joy and thanking loudly your Chitti’s mother in law for giving you that extra bit of chocolate. This is the age where you find big joys in small things and this is the age where you know that life is awesome!

You have taken to R2 as if she has been with us forever, and honestly, like the other day, you and I were talking, Amma, was R2 really not there with us before? I dont remember that at all :)

While we are not at a stage when I have started treating you like a friend, I am definitely telling you things and you are listening. Like how I liked a book I read, or a particular earring that caught my eyes, or if I am upset about something and you ask me what happened Amma?

AFter R2’s birth you have become very close to your Appa (yayyay!) and both of you go out together to do shopping and have fun and what not?

You still retain the habit of crying at the drop of a hat and if things dont work your way, unfortunately, you are bawling! I am hoping you get out of this habit fast…

You still have an inferiority complex about your complexion despite Appa and I doing our best to show you the positives…but I am hoping that your natural confidence and happy go lucky nature will eventually turn you around.

You are a pro at eating junk food, but thankfully demand your fruits and curd as well, This gives me some relief.

This year, I was the most astonished to see you make friends, so easily. When you went to Goa and got bored at home, someone suggested perhaps you could go to the local daycare there. When your Thatha Thathi took you, you just went in, said hello hello and sat down to play. After that, everyday used to be a fight because you wanted to go as early as possible and we had to make you stay back. I am really blessed that ways, darling…

Your reading skills have improved by leaps and bounds, and sometimes I am surprised with your speed and clarity of reading, however, much to my dismay, you are not a reader at all. I never see you pick up a book and read until I pakao you into reading one!

TV is your best friend, and the past one year has seen us have many a fights about your TV times. And I am losing the battle more than winning it. Now I have realised we just have a pact. You watch for x hours and we pre-decide on that…While weekdays have no TV, weekends seem to compensate it…again, I am hoping this is just a phase…

You are okay trying out new things and are yearning to eat Chicken lollipops at home..unfortunately, you have parents who dont eat non veg food which means you go to your Baroda Thatha and freak out with him :)

You still get bullied in the building, but you have started to take it in your stride. You come home, cry and little and once I explain stuff to you, you are like, yaa ma, let it be.

Goa also saw you improve your English speaking skills suddenly. Appa was surprised to hear you speak such good English on the phone. But your main language of communication is Hindi. You speak like a typical Mumbaikar with re and tu and stuff :)

You are good girl most times da. Helping me out with everything at home. Sometimes your way of talking borders to downright rudeness and I am trying hard to make you stop it. I am hoping you will get down the right path soon :)

Your birthday party started off with me wanting to make bhel/ pani puri/ chole bread for the kids, but Appa vetoed everything and just ordered samosas and chips. Thats good enough, RM, he said, you cant be a super mom. Be realistic and stop thinking you can cook for 25 kids..guess he is right and you were kind enough to agree to it as well. I do feel a bit guilty about not giving home made food, so I added cheese sandwiches to it as well :) We did have fun with the Cinderella cake and all that!

You love love love make up and yearn for me to let you put on some. This is a gene which got to you from where, I dont know :) I hope to let you start using make up when you turn 18 *sticks tongue out*

Your sister thinks the world of you and she reserves her biggest smiles her widest hugs and her jumpiest jumps only for you. You can make her drink her milk, eat her kooyi and even make her sit with all your singing and dancing. She loves the fact that you come in and say R2 meri paapaaaaaaa in your singsong voice.

This summer vacation saw you learn swimming, skating and learn how to use a dictionary. Of course, that makes you the jack of all trades and master of none, but hey, I am not complaining.

I just hope you continue to smile and enjoy life forever. I pray that you make friends wherever you go and you get out of this stupid complexion inferiority and all that.

Loads of love, kid

Amma

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