Dear Brat#2

You start daycare day after tomorrow. Yep! You are just 10 days short of turning 10 months. For those of you who tell me ‘oh my God, really, time just flew no?’ to be honest, I would just stick my tongue out and say NO! It didnt! I cant wait for the brat #2 to grow up and be more independent..

But yes,you start daycare from day after tomorrow. Till yesterday, I was telling all and sundry on how its going to be so much easier leaving you at the daycare 

1. Because I have already experienced it with R

2. Because R will be there with you in the mornings, before she leaves for school at 10.30 making it easier for you and a breeze for me to just drop you girls and get to work

But can I confess something, baby? I am scared. Shit scared. Really scared. I know its inevitable, and I know you will adjust to it, and I know you will love being there, much more than getting bored at home…but still, a part of me is super scared about leaving you!

I worry someone may pull your cheeks and cause rashes again (I have told the daycare at least a million times about your sensitive skin!) I worry you will cry your heart out before you go to sleep (Which you may for a couple of days, but hey you will figure out sleep comes otherwise also) I worry the teachers may overfeed you (Well you can always do extra potty eh?) I worry you may not be able to tell if you are in pain (Which you cant anyways, you cant speak yet eh?)

In short, for every worry the heart of mine comes up with, the brain has a practical solution to it!

But, the heart, being the heart, still worries. 

I must admit, I have kept a brave face whenever anyone asks me. But somewhere its been disturbing me! 

Sigh! I guess I am just proving to myself, that each child is as special as they get…Just because I have experience with akka doesnt mean that I wont have the same worries for you!

I know, girl, that you will adjust and be a rockstar just exactly like akka. At some level, your akka has picked up my anxiety, no matter how much I try and hide it. She has been counselling me since three days dropping in lines like ‘Amma, dont worry, am there na’ ‘R2 is going to love being at the daycare’ ‘She will cry for a while ma, but then she will start playing with the toys there’ ‘There are other smaller kids slightly older than her, they will play with her, I have told everyone to play with her’

In short, I have realised, your akka seems to have a lot more maturity than I have in certain cases :)

I hope, kid, you will enjoy yourself as much as akka does!

A little worried

Amma

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Dear R2

I have reached this point when I am this close to snapping! Really!

I am so so bugged with people judging me because your skin is bad! The doctor mentions atopic dermatitis and says we just need to keep moisturing your skin. Nothing else is needed as of now! Unfortunately you are still looking like ‘Rudolf the red cheeked reindeer’ and there is nothing I can do about it!

I have been patiently answering everyone…

Yes its an allergy

No I dont know what is causing it

Yes we have shown it to a doctor

No he hasnt adviced any medicines

Yes we plan to do an allergy test

No we cant do it now since she is too young

So on and so forth!

I am really fed up telling folks NOT to touch your cheeks! I know its normal human reaction to touch a kid’s cheeks (actually I am abnormal I never touch any kid’s face…am too scared!

but when you see the kid’s cheeks so red and rough…wouldnt you rather avoid touching them? 

The skin doesnt seem to bother you at all, but as a mother, sometimes, I feel so helpless….like I did something wrong and this happened!

Your N masi gave me a big lecture the other day about stop feeling guilty and even my kid had it and just dont get too worked up! I did feel a bit better after that…

I dont know,kid, what to do. As of now I am just patiently answering questions and telling people all the time not to touch your cheeks. Funnily the kids need to be told only once, after that they dont touch…but the adults….sigh!

On top of that, I get advice on what can be applied, how my leaving you and going to work may cause some distress and this is a reaction to that, how am I going to leave you at the daycare from next month onwards!

I hope and pray you get better soon

Love and Hugs

Amma

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Our Car Rides

Dear R

Guess by now both you and I know that we will reach the daycare in one piece despite the fact that Amma is driving the car :)

Remember the first time I decided that enough is enough and decided to take the car to drop you at the daycare and park it there to run the the station! 

You asked me ‘Are you sure Amma? Do you know how to drive?’

I said ‘Arey I taught Appa how to drive! Of course I know how to drive!’

You looked at me in disbelief and said you would sit in the backseat with all the bags so that the bags dont fall off. I think you didnt want to hurt my feelings about being scared to sit in the front hehe!

We have been going for a month and a half and surprisingly instead of being scared, both of us seem to look forward to this time together!

We have sung songs together from Salman Khan ones to Senorita! I introduced to the few English songs I know off and now you are obssessed with ‘Country Roads Take Me Home’ and ‘Words’! We both sing the songs loudly as we drive along the 25 minutes journey. 

Sometimes we say our prayers but thats only on days you agree. In four months your Barodu thathi managed to teach you so many small shlokas but you dont want to pray most days. I guess I shouldnt be forcing you too much, at the end of the day you have a mom who isnt much the prayers type herself eh?

Some days we talk. Talk about everything under the sun. You surprise me with your logic at times. Sometimes you bug me with your questions. While going back home my standard questions include what did you eat at daycare and did you finish your tiffin and what homework do you have? While going to daycare the discussions are more fun. Friends school work social situations even Modi discussions dance song TV books comics papers studies eh? 

Sometimes we fight. Big time. I tell you to behave and you tell me I am a screaming mother. You say you hate me and I tell you to find another Mom. Sometimes I spend the time giving you gyaan on the ways of life and how being rude is not going to land you anywhere!

Sometimes we do paatu practice. I sing you sing and we sing together. You put the thaalam and goof up. I tap the steering wheel with my fingers…we both sing and stop together and laugh away :)

Sometimes we both are quiet. In our thoughts. I stop at a signal. I look back. You smile. I smile back. You smile again. The signal turns green and you point your eyes at the road. And our silence speaks volumes. Speaks of a mother and daughter who love each other to bits and know they will always be there for each other.

This will change from September when R2 joins us. I may spend most of the time looking at the road and her alternatively while you will have to spend your time entertaining her! Those will be fun days too…

But these are cherished days as well

Yours trying-to-be-a-cool-driver-like-Appa
Amma

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The Day This Metro Stopped

My Amma told me once that you realise the importance of something when you dont have it!

Last week the Mumbai Metro had a shut down. Just because Mr.Murphy loves me a lot (he does man he does!) I had to stay back at work for something important which HAD to go out… and I was pretty tired! But in the spirit of wanting to lose those piled up kilograms, I did my usual walk to the metro station from work. And spent that time talking to my mother on the phone.

I am very diligent that way you know. I use all the spare time doing something or the other…most importantly, eating. But we are not talking about all that eh?

Anyways just as I reached the entrance of the station I noticed a huge crowd there! Was telling Amma that dont know why its crowded…and I heard a guard say that metro is closed!

‘What what what’ I said…’what what what’ Amma asked thinking I was talking to her… ‘arey what?’ I went again and ma went what again! and I am like ma wait ma wait… ma was wondering what I was talking about about…

The guy repeated that the metro was closed… I asked him how on earth do I reach the station? and he looked and me and said I dont know..

Me: Aap metro kaise bandh kar sakte hain? 

Folks around me stared at me …but me being me looked at him in the eye and asked him again!

Him: Madam woh…

Me: woh kya woh, bhaisaab, metro bandh toh ghar kaise jayenge sab log? Boliye aap?

Him: errrr madam

Me: Ab kya? Mujhe toh bhaagna padega aur sab buses and ricks full hai

It was the confused and pained expression on his face which made me realise that I was talking to a guy who had no clue what I was talking about!

I looked around and saw th entire crowd staring at me….giving a sheepish grin to everyone and mumbling a loud sorry to the man, I walked away to complain to Amma only to realise that Amma had got bugged of my drama and kept the phone down !!!

PS – For all those who are concerned at this point about how I reached the train station – I WALKED!!! all the way!!!

for the usual curious lot, yes I did call back my Amma and complain !

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Updates of my Crazy Life!

R’s maturing and at times her questions, reasoning, tantrums and talks seem to flummox me big time. I am not cut out to be the mother of a growing kid, eh?

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One of the biggest achievements I have to record is the fact that I have started dropping R to the daycare by car. Driving it myself. After years of cajoling from RD and many many days of crying to rickshaw guys to come in the mornings to daycare, after years of tension and craziness, I decided enough is enough. I just took the car out one day and R and I started out to her daycare in it. RD just couldnt believe it but yes, I did it! Its been more than a month now, and the rains in the morning dont scare me anymore. I have the guts to drive from home to her daycare. Now to conquer a flyover. If I can drive on a crowded flyover, stopping and starting without going back, I can drive anywhere in the world!

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The brat went for a 15 day skating camp in summer. RD and I have been pleading to her to join the regular class. But for her, playing in the building downstairs is more important. RD and I tried all sort of tactics but she is steadfast on playing down. After a while, I thought, I should just let her be. For someone who believes big time in unstructured play, am I not pushing her too much?

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I have started learning music from my mami over skype. Every Saturday and Sunday, mami, I and R sit together and go through SA Re Ga Ma! Its fun and it also makes me relaxed. The MIL takes care of R2 when R and I sing…though we are pathetic in practicing and mami is too sweet to tell us anything…but its fun eh? Mami is the bestest teacher on earth as well :)

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R2 has started saying baabaaabaaabbaaa half the time she and R converse like bababababbaab as if they are talking to each other. R is over-loving towards her to be honest. Sometimes, I feel she will squeeze her like a lemon inside a lemon squeezer! R2’s skin is a big issue and now we have started soya milk for her…the poor kid is taking it nicely…but just because I dont like it, I feel bad for her :)

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I have slowly started eating outside food now…Today we are going to order pizza…after ages..and the very thought of that makes me want to dance :)

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R2 has stopped feeding on my milk completely…and no, it doesnt make me sad at all..to be honest, I am relived (okay, all the critics can come out and bash me up!!!) Its been 8 months and I am okay with her not taking my feed…I have had ladies passing their judgement on that as well..

Aap usko apna dudh dete hain?

Nahi, two weeks se woh nahi le rahi

Arey, dena chaheye..office jaane se pehele dena…

And so on and so forth…I just am turning a deaf ear to everyone…I fed R for 9 months and then R2 for 8 months…good enough for me!

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Travel is crazy as usual…getting into busy locals, running to catch the metro, rushing to walk to the office in 10 minutes…its all making me tired…but I still manage to get up the next day and go to work..sometimes, I surprise myself..really!

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R and I made an eggless banana cake from this recipe. It turned out awesome…I will post the pics soon :)

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One of the things I want to start doing soon, is read the blogs I used to read earlier…unfortunately google reader stopped and I dont remember my feedly password :( But I really need to start…

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More on the R front later…Thank you for reading me despite the fact that I am highly irregular…I hope to start being regular in this space soon :)

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How I Failed Trying To Raise a Reader

reader

I adore books. They are my favorite only next to food and sleep. When my daughter was born 7 years ago, I wanted to raise her to be a reader. You know someone who reads and reads and reads and doesnt even bother answering anyone. Someone who picks up any book and sits in a corner and reads all the while. The one who needs no one else but books for company. The one who wants books for her birthdays. The one who is okay going anywhere as long as she has her book along with her. The one who gets excited on seeing new books. The one who thinks that books are the best friends one could have!

…………………………………

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Dear Brats

You have taken over my life completely. Appa and I have no time for each other. Really! And thats not a good thing. the only way we communicate with each other is via whatsapp! I wonder what couples did before whatsapp and multiple kids!!

I am not complaining though. Its just a phase and hopefully it will pass soon and we can ‘Do’ things together as a family. You know take vacations, go out for kulfis and golas after dinner, go watch a funny play, attend a book reading, generally have a lazy sunday watching something funny on TV. Yes, I am so looking forward to these family things you know.

R2, am just waiting for you to grow up a bit more, gal. Its like we want to do things, but then we remember oh, you are too tiny to do anything at all!

You have been sick for the past one week, and it has been heart breaking to see you spend sleepless nights with your skin errupting into rashes. Your appetite is an all time low and you have even stopped feeding on my milk in the night, no matter what I do. The only person who can wriggle a smile out of you is your Akka. The only person who can make you take out that gummy smile. You have lost weight (Appa says, its a big percentage considering your overall weight hehe)

You dont seem to like me much. Whenever I greet you after coming back from work, you just stare at me, give a nonchantly shrug of your shoulder and get back to doing whatever you are doing. Errr..thats a bit harsh on my barely existent maternal love, but guess, you are one of a kind eh?

When you broke into rashes, I told the doctor, but but, my older one never had such issues. He told me ‘you have two kids and they ARE DIFFERENT!, dont expect the second one to react exactly like the first one to any situation. They are different’

I must admit in 7 months of your existence, this is the first time, I realised it really! Guess you are like your Akka in a lot of ways, but unique otherwise.
R, you have to let me cut your hair babes. Its getting on to my nerves. Everyday we have a fight. EVERY.SINGLE.DAY! God knows why you think you have hair like Elsa and keep putting that 1.3532 inch of hair in the front from the back, as if its some 100 metres long…sigh! Girl, really, I am dreading to handle you in your teens…

You are your sister’s best friend but fight so much with her. Amma, you are always only doing R2 R2 you tell me and when I let her cry for a while because I am doing something to you, you push me towards her saying ‘Amma why are you making her cry, go go go to her’

Kid, you sure confuse me a lot!

Your behaviour sometimes, is appaling, but at times, you are the chammtest kid on earth…

Both you girls are getting very close to your Appa. Which makes him happy..and hey makes me also happy :) Go trouble him while I relax with a book and a filter kaapi in hand!!

Nothing much to add, I have tons to write, but just no time. I will try and squeeze in a letter once a while.

I love both of you a lot

Amma

I love my Akka and Akka loves me too, she squeezes me as if I am an orange, but I still love her

I love my Akka and Akka loves me too, she squeezes me as if I am an orange, but I still love her

Give me those chappals they are my favorite!a

Give me those chappals they are my favorite!

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