Parenting Or Not?

So R and I have been talking. Tell me something new. Honestly, the way my girls talk, I wish there was  a switch off button available at times. I have people in R’s swim class who know all about R2’s daycare and what all her mom cooks for her and why the world is not cold and what not. R2 keeps talking to them all the time. They are, of course, amazing folks who keep answering her never ending questions and are extremely sweet to her.

Anyway, I digress.

So R and I. We were talking that day. About a lot of things. R is pretty much aware of menstruation (Thanks to Mayil will not be Quiet – Thanks Sowmya! and Menstrupedia). We have had conversations on sanitary napkins, tampons, menstrual cups and cloth. We have spoken about how babies are born. She knows everything she needs to know at her age about sex and boys.

We have spoken about coloring her hair.

RM:No, you can’t till you turn 18.

R: But, why not?

RM: Too many chemicals.

R: I will colour it red like that Aliya in Chak De.

RM: I don’t care what you do after you turn 18.

R: Okay, mom (Followed by an eye roll)

She has told me about what her friends speak about boys. She asked me if I was okay if she had a crush. I said, of course. Everyone has crushes.

We have spoken about kissing (she thinks its gross to kiss on the mouth, I said may be you will like it when you are older).

R: Why would people do that?

RM: Its a form of showing your affection, like cuddling or hugging.

R: But all that saliva, won’t germs get passed on?

RM: Oh well. Just brush your teeth before you kiss. Then you will be all minty in the mouth.

R: !!!!

We have spoken about having boyfriends.

R: Will you be okay if I have boyfriend?

RM: Yes, of course, as long as you come back home on time and tell me where you are going. Once you turn 18, you don’t have to. But till then you will have to.

R: Oh okay!

We have spoken about having babies and the process of delivery. R knows that she was a vaginal birth baby while R2 was an emergency C sec. When I took R for her flu vaccine, she didn’t expect the pain to last for 10 seconds. The doctor put in the needle and inserted the vaccine and R shouted ‘stop stop’. She just put her head down and cried silently. After about 2 minutes her head surfaced up and her eyes were full of tears, with the tears rolling down her cheeks. I didn’t expect it would pain so much for her and was so taken aback. I said ‘its okay da, you will feel okay’ The doctor looked at her face and was so shocked. She was like oh my God you are really brave. It must hurt isn’t it?

R nodded her head but said ‘Thank you Doctor.’ I guess the doctor didn’t expect that. She was a bit overwhelmed.

As we stepped outside, R went ‘I AM NOT TAKING ANY VACCINE EVER AGAIN’. I burst out laughing. Here was a kid who was trying to control her emotions and being polite to the doctor and then she just burst out 🙂

Anyway, we were just talking about needles and I told her, you need to chin up a bit. I told her about her due to R2’s emergency C-sec, I had to take an injection in my spine all the while under going labour pains.

She seemed a bit aghast and said ‘okay, mom, may be babies are better adopted, aren’t they?’

I said, to be honest, R, I thinking delivering is the easiest part of parenting, it is the bringing up part which seems to tough.

She sat thinking for two minutes and said ‘okay, mom. I have decided!’

Decided what re? I asked her.

She said in a very definite tone, ‘I am NOT having babies. I am just getting two dogs and will bring them up! No delivery worries, no adoption tension and absolutely no bringing up problems’

I just shut up!

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Of Realizing Something

So today, the friend and I had a dance workshop. We are doing a program for the community in the next couple of Sundays and one of the ideas was to conduct a dance workshop so that people can join us in on the stage on that day.

Awesome idea…its like crowdsourced dancing or something. I really love doing workshops. I am the talker and my friend is the dancer. I am more of ‘on the count of 1,2,3’ while she is all about grace and how to get the dance steps right. I am more about starting and stopping the music on the laptop while she is all about getting those steps right. In short,  I think we work well as a pair.

Anyway, so today we did a workshop for 1.5 hours. Which meant I was shouting, screaming, dancing and doing some 100 other things for the whole 1.5 hours. As soon as the workshop got over, I felt faint. RD came in with R2 to pick me up. R was talking something to me and I zoned out. I did know what I was doing. I was like an trance. I felt faint and I was clueless about what friends were saying.

RD: Are you okay, RM? How was the workshop?

RM: I am feeling faint.

RD: Hehehe! okay lets go home and eat.

And I just said bye to everyone mechanically and came home. And then ate. and ate. and ate. I told RD I was feeling really tired. I am wondering how I am going to dance on that day. Do a dance and then do a workshop dance as well.

RD: Errr..RM

RM: What?

RD: Do you realise you are getting old?

RM: Old? What old?

RD: As in age old! You will complete 37 years in September this year. You do realise that, eh?

RM: WHAT WHAT WHAT

RD: WHAT WHAT? You are closer to forty that you believe you are. Once you cross 35, you are actually closer to 40. You know that eh?

RM: WHAT WHAT WHAT. But I am only…..only….only…

RD grinned at me and started to wipe that ginormous pile of patrams to keep back in the shelf!

I am still kind of in a shock! I mean, really? Really? I am actually getting old. But like that lady in that movie ‘Sholay’ said ‘Jab tak I have jaan, I am continuing to be naaching’ or something..that is what I plan to do!

Its just realising that I am really nearer to 40 than I thought can be pretty shocking, eh?

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After a Long Time….

So I started doing the 100 Happy Days after Maya told me to better get writing to something! But unfortunately, I just stopped after some 10 days, because I realised I had too much in hand! The in laws were here for 3 months and I had too much to do.

After I have moved to Tasmania, I have been doing a lot. I still haven’t got a full time job and slowly I have started to accept it. I am doing loads of things, not earning any money but well, like they say, money is not everything in life, eh? But trust me, it sure is important. Especially when you don’t earn it and feel frustrated about it.

But I have changed my profession and have become a Teacher’s Assistant now. I spent last year doing a small course to help me start off. I have started working for a couple of hours in a school near by and I have realised that I LOVE MY JOB!

If someone asked me a few years ago, I would have said I do like consulting but I really want to do something else. I think, this is it! This is what I want to do. The money is nothing and whatever I am earning goes in R2’s daycare and we often pay out of pocket, but trust me, the fun I am having doing what I am doing! Sigh! I wonder why I didn’t take up the idea of becoming a teacher earlier.

I am not a teacher, technically. But I am an assistant to a teacher. I help her out. But she is such an awesome mentor that I am so glad I work with her. The joy I get talking and interacting with students who are 5 or 6 years old is just amazing. I am only hoping I get some more hours of work to do in a week and earn a bit more. But, trust me, I love doing what I am doing.

Then I am dancing. Doing proper dancing with a friend of mine. I dance on songs like ghoomar and london thumkda. Proper dham dham dancing. Not that I am losing any weight. So I still look like a big fat elephant trying to conquer the world with her moves, but hey at 36, I think I have ceased to worry about what people think about me. Of course, my friend is a perfect size zero and dances like a dream. So it sure does look a bit funny. But again, I am just dancing for myself, so it is fun! And my friend doesn’t mind it. So all good 🙂

I have started ‘teaching’ Bharatanatyam to a lady. She likes it and I love doing it too. We are still in the basics and when we come to doing the margam, I am sure I have to revise like crazy. But I guess, I will do it.

So life is kind of full. Today when I went for practice to that friend’s house, another lady had come to practice. I finished a bit and said I had to rush home to do some work. The other lady asked me ‘Do you ever have time to just sit and do nothing?’

RM: Well, I don’t know. I don’t work like you do. I do have some time.

Lady: No, but I have never seen you just sit and relax and have a cup of coffe

RM: But I guess I have to go and hang the clothes out and get some stuff done

Lady: This is what I am telling you. You say you don’t work full time but you are always busy.

RM: Errrrr

My friend who I dance with, burst out laughing. She is like ‘RM is always busy’

And what she said just stuck me. Am I always busy or am I pretending to be busy? Am I one of those folks who loves to keep doing something. As I think about it, I realise it is true. I want to be busy. I want to do something. I feel guilty if I sit in the middle of the day and read a book. Or just sit and do nothing. I have started watching this serial which R watches called ‘So Awkward’ on ABC Me (I love that one!) and when I sit to watch it in the evening, I feel guilty. So I usually fold clothes or just get dinner ready while watching.

I have to keep reminding myself that I am an adult. I can stay up late if I want. I can read a book till 3 in the morning and no one can scold me for that. But somehow, I feel guilty. Isn’t that weird?

Anyway, I have started to be a bit more efficient and the little bit of online work that I am doing for a friend, I get it done in the afternoons. I get sometime in hand in the evenings and I have started reading again. It feels great to lie down on the bed and read a book late into the night.

My life is full again and I am very happy about it. I definitely want some more hours of work, and some stability in income, but hey, life is not always perfect, eh?

So, what have you been up to?

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100 Happy Days – Day #19

Today, RD and I volunteered to be a part of the Point to Pinnacle Half Marathon. This is supposed to be world’s toughest half marathon, where the participants have to climb the Mount Wellington.

RD’s hockey club was volunteering and they were short of a few people and roped me in. With the inlaws here to take care of the girls, I agreed to be a part of it.

RD and I got up at 5.30 and then got to our spots by 6.30 AM. I must admit, I was a bit skeptical about how I was supposed to manage traffic, but honestly, there was no need. People here are so amazing that there was no need for me to stand at the sides and ask everyone to run at the left side of the road. Actually, it was only the top 3 runners who ran towards the right side of the road, EVERYONE else just kept to the left!!!

What a crowd it was…wow, is an understatement, really! I was at a point where they have crossed one small hill and started with the second hill. It was a hot day with 28 degrees (and hotter if you consider the Tassie sun which is brutal) but most people had a smile on their face. They were happy and excited. The walkers came first. They were such a happy bunch! Talking, laughing, doing hi-fis and just enjoying the whole experience. Most of them said a thank you to me and other volunteers for doing what we were doing!!! Can you believe that? They are huffing and puffing their way up the hill but still were so thankful and wonderful! I love Tasmania, really!

And then one guy says ‘You look too happy, girl, come and do the run with us!’ and another guy was like ‘thank you thank you for the encouragement’ and one more guy who was towards the end of the walking group tells me ‘oh lady, please tell me I am one of the first ones to pass you’ and what amazing sense of humor 🙂

And then came the runners. They were so fit, baap re! Just looking at them made me feel sooooo jealous! Gosh..most of them were like running uphill..and trust me, it is a steeeeeeppp run! Super steep run! And there were people carrying kids in prams (and RUNNING!) and carry older kids with disabilities in wheelchairs and just going through! It is amazing what people can do if they want to…I was just clapping like crazy through out! That’s all I could do!

RD and I finished the traffic controlling and went to the place where they were giving breakfast and most of the buses carrying the runners from the pinnacle (top of Mt.Wellington were already back!!! Can you believe it? In a couple of hours, they just finished the route!!!

It is so inspiring to see so many people run…I loved today’s experience!!!

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100 Happy Days – Day #18

We saw the amazing parade for Xmas and what fun it was!

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100 Happy Days – Day #17

Today I went to a photo shoot with my friend. I really really admire these models man! I mean they are so so great, that they agree to do this for a living. I went crazy in that half an hour. The lady who took the pictures was really sweet and all that, but trust me, I thought it was so weird just posing in some 100 different poses like that! And to keep smiling, man! keep smiling!!!

Now I know why those models we see never smile. Because if you smile so much, your dentures will hurt like crazy! It will hurt so much that you can’t even chew your food! And the whole thing about taking 3 hours to get dressed just for one picture! Ufff…by the end of it all, I was just ready to take my friend home heheh 🙂

I guess for people who really like doing it, it must be fun..but trust me, posing for pictures seemed like too much hard work to me!

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100 Happy Days – Day #16

A family friend sent some amazing pictures of R’s birthday to us today! What stunning pictures really! The food looks delish, the cakes look amazing and the girls look stunning! The sun shining through and our lives look so perfect 🙂 I can continue to crib for not having a job, but a friend, philosopher and guide told me that look at the positives in life and you will always be happy!

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The brat looking for some stones in the backyard!

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Kids at the birthday party having fun with some cycle and sharing everything!

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Looking at the clothesline and checking out some bugs in the garden!

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The lamps lit to celebrate #Diwali!

 

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