The Weird Lady In A 3/4th Saree

Yep. That is me! Trust me, I don’t know how I end up in such situations..Its like I am a weird situations attracting magnet!

So RD is away and I agree with my dance teacher to give a 3.45 minutes performance..Firstly, that is stupid! If there is no one around to take care of a 2 year old tornado..you should just not agree to things, eh? But no, I thought I could do it all…I learnt my lesson the hard way!

First it was the practice..Since it was three of us doing it, coordination was important..and for every practice I took R2, she managed to do something or the other, which was not really appropriate..but let us leave that to it..

On the D day, last Sunday, my teacher and the other lady who was dancing with us, told me to take it easy and come by 11 AM..Actually, I believe they were just too polite to tell me not to get R2 early, because they were too scared to have her around as they were dressing up!

So I reach at 11…the dressing up is crazy…We are late…and R2 decides to jump on the bed, get some juice on the floor, eat sultanas and hide them under places where no human hand except a 2 year old’s can reach..and all that..R is doing her best to take care of R2..but really what can a poor 8 year old do in front of a 2 year old whose sole aim in life to ensure her mother loses all her hair by the time she turns 40!

We are late..my make up is a bit..ahem! lets not worry about that..I am not the make up person anyway..I tell the others that I will meet them at the venue…Have you ever driven in a saree, with a full Bharatanatyam hairdo? Well, if you have, then I salute you…Because I did that, I went crazy..

First, putting R2 into the car seat…it is like a battle..I can feel my saree coming off from the side..but I pretend all is well..I am ready to spank R2 who is holding up her tummy and screaming at the top of her voice, so that I cannot belt her down..I have a bag full of food, a bag full of ghunghurus and a jacket and…don’t ask..R manages to calm R2 down..and I get into the car..

At 14 C, I am sweating, my eyes are watering and I am ready to drive away and never return..

I reach the venue…There is no parking. I call my teacher. She says, they have special parking for the performers..Where? She does not know! I give up.

R is saying Amma park park park..I am like but where…

R: Amma, I am bursting

Me: R I TOLD YOU TO USE THE TOILET AT TEACHER’S HOUSE

R: too late ma, I am bursting just park somewhere..

I drive around, searching for both a parking and a toilet..I get the former. Get R2 down from the seat, who is busy looking at how many stones are underneath the car. Now carrying R2 in my waist is out of question, because I am decked in full Bharatanatyam jewellery and I am already feeling my saree coming off…BTW when you wear saree for dance, you wear it 3/4th with a pjyama or tights underneath..which looks great on stage but definitely looks weird if you are walking on the street..

But hey, who cares..all I want now is a toilet…I search and search and find the coordinator who directs me to the toilet which is on the OTHER SIDE of the lawn…R is running, I am carrying three bags in one hand and pulling R2 with the other hand, who is now busy trying to find twigs which are the same size as her finger!

I am literally dragging her while R is running around like a headless chicken trying to find the toilet..Ammaaaa….I am bursting she says at regular intervals…

A man looks at me in pity and directs R to the toilet…Imagine a lady wearing a 3/4 th saree, decked to the brim, carrying three ugly looking bags and dragging a toddler with her who clearly has her priorities set elsewhere…well, you can burst into laughter NOW!

R manages to get into the toilet in time..and then R2 decides she wants to wash her hands…which is a good habit, except when your mom is wearing a saree, and has jewellery all over her…I lift R2, who instantly digs her hand into my necklace and pulls it so hard, that I can feel it creaking at the back..its not even my necklace..its my teacher’s and it cant break eh?

Anyways, I somehow, manage to get R2 to a friend (who came in like God! thanks G, you are the bestest!) and wait for the performance..

Now, folks who have seen me, know that I wear soda bottle glasses…I am practically blind without them..But honestly, in dance, its just better to take them out..not only for aesthetic reasons, but also because if you jump, your glasses may fall off, eh? The big advantage, of course, is that I can not see the audience, which means, I dance as if there is no one around, hehe!

So, as the performance starts, I say the speech and then start to dance…and I HAVE MY GLASSES ON! I can see everyone..darn darn darn!

So as my next involves me sitting down and falling on Mother Earth’s feet (we are doing a Pushapanjali) I do a Rajnikanth and remove my glasses and lay them on the grass, hoping the other two ladies do not step on them…I am smart enough to leave them near the flowers so that they can see it distinctly..I can see people laughing and smiling..Hey , a girl got to do, what a girl got to do eh?

After the performance, I send the video to RD.

RD’s reaction:  ARE YOUR GLASSES BROKEN? ARE THEY OK?

Seriously man, your wife just finished a 3.45 minute performance, and all you care about is her glasses..I mean, really!

Trust me, such things happen only to me..whether its running after R2, getting a toilet for R or dancing with my glasses on the grass, I have done it all!

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R2 isms

R2 has suddenly started speaking clearly. From the babble girl she has become this girl who is very articulate about what she wants and likes.

If I have ever mentioned that R was a brat at 2.5 years, R2 makes her seem like an angel. R2 is very headstrong, naughty and can be very very tiring to be with. Yesterday R and I went crazy trying to control her at the supermarket.

Which brings me to this

The tellers are wearing bunny hair bands in celebration of Easter. R is taking all the stuff out of the basket to the teller while R2 is moving around in circles like a bunny high on carrots. I am just this flustered mom who doesnt know what to do! And then R2 goes to this another teller and gives her a brilliant smile and asks

‘Are you a cute bunny?’

She being my daughter has the loudest voice ever and several people hear her. I look up mortified. R, thankfully was busy (or she would have gone red with embarassment) The lady looked her and said ‘Thank you, thats a lovely thing to say’ and gave her a hug!

I did not know how to react really!

The other time I tell someone ‘R2 is such a brat’

R2: No mom, I am NOT a brat. I am a girl.

Yaa right!

One other time I took her to the library. R was busying checking what books she wanted while R2 was running around in circles. Then a girl who must be R2’s  age or slightly older came in. She looked at R2 in amusement. R2 went to her and said ‘I am a dinosaur. I am here to scare you’ I was like stop it R2.

The girl however, did actually get scared of R2 and ran to her mother. I went to apologise but her mom was sweet about it!

This girl is turning all my hair grey, really!

She invites worms, lizards and snakes to her parties and wants sambhar rice to be served with cupcakes. She loves insects and wants to be a spider when she grows up! 

At this point, I GIVE UP! 

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Of Being A Proud Mother

I am very reluctant to praise my kids. Not that they are not praise worthy, but somehow, I think I would rather have them know that I am proud of them, than let the world know that I am proud of them. So we have instances like me telling R that ‘Hey you did a great job girl, I am proud’ instead of me telling a friend ‘Hey, my daughter is really good at reading, etc’

It may seem a bit weird, but hey that is the way I am. However, today I will make an exception. Today, I want to announce publicly that I am very very proud of being R’s mother.

Folks who know me well, will also know how I used to visit a Ganpati temple every day near my BEST bus stop, when I was pregnant with R. and I would pray for a child who is healthy and has hair which is as lovely as her dad’s. Seriously. My mom still laughs at me. “RM, you pray for a kid with lovely hair, ahhahahah”. Well what does she know? It is such a pain to have curly hair, hmpf!

Anyways, when R’s hair turned out to be exactly like RD’s – soft, silky, jet black, I was so so thankful… When R2 was born, we insisted R to cut off her hair, because I was finding it difficult to manage her hair and R2 and stuff.

Then we came to Tasmania, and for an year and a half, we did not cut her hair. Which made this like this!

IMG_3442

The picture does not do justice to it really. IT was long, straight, silky and absolutely gorgeous looking!

Then our friend L came over for tea to our house one day, and we started talking about cancer patients and how some kids lose their hair due to the chemo sessions and they need good hair for wigs, etc etc. R was not really a part of the conversation, but she has this habit of eavesdropping once a while (hmpf!)

I am not sure what triggered this really, but she started asking to cut her hair. I was not ready to let her do it, especially since it was growing so well. RD put his foot down and said ‘no cutting hair’ She let it at that, but she started once again, a few weeks ago. About how, I never let her keep her hair open (who has to fight the tangles, eh?) and how she finds her long hair a pain during the swimming session (what rubbish!) and all that.

We had a long conversation and I warned her at least 10 times (no Amma, you wanted me at least a MILLION times, she says) that the hair cutting was HER decision and I will not accept any crying after that. She came back from school one day, and said let’s go.

Now, I firmly believe, that at the age of 8.5 years, a child’s view should be respected, as long as it is not something devastatingly wrong. If a child needs to be independent, letting them take some decisions is a first good step to it. And this girl wanted to cut her hair. Nothing wrong with it. When I weighed the pros and cons, I realised that

  1. Hair grows
  2. She is so young that it will grow back anyways
  3. Cutting her hair means no more morning fights of you-dont-know any hairstyles and stuff
  4. She gets to sleep 10 minutes extra

All in all, it was a win win situation. So I agreed. She called up RD and told him. RD was like NO NO NO! I told RD to chill and let her take her decision.

So we went to the salon and asked that lady to cut her hair. R had already asked me to speak to the lady on whether her hair was good enough to be donated and if she could do the cutting the right way. I must admit, I was pleasantly surprised! I asked her ‘is that why you want to cut your hair? To donate it?’ She pretended it wasn’t and it was just tired of having long hair. I was so proud secretly!

Anyways, so the lady agreed to cut it the right way so that it could be sent for donation and she also gave us the right place where we could post the hair. Midst all this, RD left office early and met me at the salon in hope to dissuade his daughter from chopping off her hair ehehehehhee! But he came too late. Of course, he was so so proud that she wanted to donate it, that he went from NO NO NO to I am so proud of you girl!

So she ended up with this!

IMG_3493

And RD was kind enough to post her hair. And two days ago, this arrived by mail!

IMG_3492

I must admit, there are times when I feel like spanking the girl, but then there are times like this, which make me realise that she is turning out to be a generous soul!

So proud to be her mom 🙂

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And So I Danced After 12 Years On Stage….

I did my first and last total Bharatanatyam performance after 15 years of training with my teacher, in January 2006, just a month before I was getting married…I have done loads of performances in annual days at school and college, but my first official performance was just a couple of weeks before I got married, which was the first one my teacher had organized..the driving force behind this, of course, was my cousin K because she had agreed to sing for our class students…and we could not thank her enough..she did a fab job singing and we all had fun doing the entire ‘Margam’ on stage!

After that, I did perform at my own wedding (yaa yaa..I am crazy that ways) and at my cousin’s weddings and my brother’s wedding..but it was more for family and friends and nothing hardcore Bharatanatyam..It was more fluid and fusion..and on movie songs..

I joined a Bharatanatyam class last year end, when I found a teacher in the next suburb to where I live and she took classes on weekends, which meant that RD could take care of the girls while I spent an hour in the class…While the teacher is younger to me (by 3 years, hehehe) I enjoyed learning from her..honestly..it was more of brushing the basics for me than anything else…Its funny how you remember stuff that you have learnt in childhood but forget stuff that you learnt 5 years ago!

So when I came to know about this multi-cultural festival being held, I asked my teacher if we could participate and she agreed..I filled the forms etc and we got a time of 10 minutes for our performance 🙂

And my teacher decided that we could do a Tillana..now a Tillana is that part of the dance in which there are no facial expressions involved, but is extremely fast paced and is usually done at the end of the dance performance. After so many years, I wasnt sure I could do a 5 minute tillana…but I was like..why not! Nothing wrong in trying..

Starting with 5 seconds we went ahead and did the whole 5 minutes dance with regular practice..Trust me, I used to practice at random times..before lunch, before dinner and what not..R2 thought I was mad at times..Amma what you doing..she would ask me as I would break into beserk moves and poses at weird times..

But I persevered and finally I could actually perform for 5 minutes without feeling I was dying!

On the day of the performance, my teacher and I had to do each other’s hair…while I have shoulder length hair so teacher could tied it up with the false hair and all (a thousand hairpins later!), my teacher had shorter hair..which meant, the I-dont-know-a-thing-about-hairstyles me had to actually get her hair in place with the rakodi and kunjalam and what not..It took us 2 hours to just get the hair done..the saree was half an hour and one of my teacher’s friend who is a make up specialist did our eye make up..Trust me, I have never put so much make up in my life..not even when I was getting married! Infact, when I got married I had only eyeliner and lipstick on! anyways, so after a million safety pins and thousands of hair pins..we got ready to go on stage..

and I loved it..I loved doing my performance, I was grinning like an idiot through out the performance..I did not worry about the audience, I did not worry about forgetting and I did not worry about anything…When people say dancing is a good spiritual experience, I think this is what they meant!

I had folks telling me I looked too fat and I had folks telling me I could have doing a bit more of sitting down while dancing…But honestly, it doesn’t matter…I am fat and I cant change it..but I loved loved loved dancing..I had a wonderful set of friends who came to cheer me up just for that 5 minutes dance and again, I cant thank God enough for the wonderful support system I have built in Tasmania…

I am not sure if I will go onstage again, but this experience, I will cherish all my life..at the age of 35, I managed to do a 5 minutes tillana without stopping or losing my breath! Life is fantastic 🙂

dance

That elaborate hairdo!!! 

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Of Going To Assemblies!

When I was in school, we had assembly in the morning. On non rainy days (usually September and onwards) we would have to stand in the playground in a straight line, class wise and we would say the morning prayers, etc etc. For me, assembly was fun because it meant that the first period would be a bit shorter since we all had to finish assembly, go to the class and then the teacher would take roll call and stuff…In short, I loved assembly 🙂

In R’s school here, they have an assembly every Friday towards the end of the day. Now, R wants me to come for her assembly since loads of parents attend it. I am, however, very skeptical about it.

And trust me, I have my reasons for that. My REASON BEING R2.

So, I have gone to her assembly thrice. In one year. Just thrice. And yet, every time, I have been there, I have had parents recognizing me in a jiffy. Why?

So the first time we went, R2 and I was when R’s class was presenting something and she asked me to come. So I went. R2 sat till the Australian national anthem was sung and she loved it. But as soon as the music stopped, she started screaming. Just like that. For fun. I was mortified. I quickly took her out and I could not take her in till the assembly was over, since every time I tried to step in, she would just shout. And R’s school students are V.E.R.Y S.I.L.E.N.T. Very very silent!

Anyways, the next time, R was performing for the Christmas performance and begged me to come. I was very very reluctant but I agreed, since I was also enthused about seeing her perform. So we went. The brat and I. Loads of classes performed before R’s and she was I think the 7th in line. As long as the music was on, R2 would just dance around, but since there were many many small kids there, it was not too bad. Until, R went on stage and stood. She was in the first line. Which meant, R2 saw her clearly. And then there was this sudden silence, you know how there are loads of people talking and then suddenly there is this silence. And in this silence, the brat decided to call out to her elder sister.

R R R DIDI DIDI DIDI

She screamed at the top of her voice. The WHOLE crowd some 500 kids, teachers, 200 parents, everyone turned back to check who it was. In the silence, R2’s voice echoed in the hall. R was so so mortified that I cannot even describe her face. She looked at R2 and broke into a grin for a second, and did a small wave with her hand, just putting it up a teeny weeny bit just to acknowledge her. And R2 went again ‘That is my didi’!

And the whole hall broke out laughing! There was not a single soul in that hall who did not laugh. While it was all tension for me, the laughing relaxed me. I realised folks actually thought it was super cute 🙂 And R went on to give a wonderful performance.

And then she told me ‘Amma, please dont bring R2 to the assembly again!’ and I promised not to.

Until today, when R’s class was again giving a small talk on anti bullying and she wanted me to come. Please please please, Amma, she pleaded.

RM: Have you forgotten what happened in your Christmas performance?

R: Its okay, Amma, she wont do anything!

RM: Really?

R: Well, she has grown by 3 months..hopefully she will have more brains now!

RM: Well, I will get her at your risk!

R: yes yes please

And so we went. R2 and I. And when R went on stage, she again showed her loyalty to her sister by screaming ‘R R R, Didi Didi Didi’

R looked at me and shrugged while I dragged R2 out of the hall. There was laughter again!

R has matured, and R2 has turned brattier, its just me who has decided never to take R2 to a school assembly again!!!

 

 

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Love Marriage Hai Kya?

So its Sunday afternoon. We are at the Gurudwara cleaning up after lunch. RD went in early to help prepare the food while I volunteered to take care of his girls till then 😉

We finished lunch and were doing the task of wiping the plates, glasses etc which were being washed. R came in to help me, since she had a bit of a tiff with the other girls there, who told her that she went to a public school so it was not good enough, or something like that…RD and I have told her to ignore all that, but how much can a 8 year old take, eh?

Anyways, I digress. So RD finishes lunch and comes our way. R promptly hands him a cloth and says Appa start wiping. Ok, he sighs.

Me: Its good to help, you know…

RD: yaa..right..I know…

and continues wiping.

There is this older lady who is washing the plates accompanied by a younger lady who is a doctor and we often end up talking. She was the one who told me that if she got married, she would love to have a relationship with her husband, like I have with RD.

The doctor smiled and turned back.

Me: What’s funny?

Doctor: you two are. This older lady is praising your relationship

At this moment, RD drops a spoon and looks so surprised that I wish I could have clicked a picture.

Doc: She is saying you both are a very sweet couple

Clang! bang! clang..both RD and I have dropped the plates now..

Me and RD: whaattt?

Older Lady: (in Hindi) : you both are very nice

Me: Errr..thank you

OL: Its fun to watch both of you talk

Me: eh?

RD pretends to wipe all the spoons in one go because he does not know whether to laugh or smirk or what!

OL: Love marriage hai kya tumhari?

Clang, bang, clang, dassh…you can well imagine what all fell down from our hands..

Me: no no..we have had an arranged marriage..

At this point, we all are laughing loudly..because we don’t know where the conversation is headed!

OL: Acha, lagta nahi hai? (is it, does not seem like it?)

Doctor: See, I told you the other day na..you and he have a special relationship!

RD: thats because we dont fight in public..its more fun fighting at home alone!..

OL: nahi nahi..tum log bahut ache couple ho..maza aata hai tum ko dekh ke (no no, you both are a wonderful couple, its fun to see you guys together)

RM: Well thanks so much…

Doctor is laughing and RD is just trying to hard to control his laughter about us being a great couple and I am thinking whether throwing the plate or the glass on his head would be more effective!

PS – At the end, I did neither. I just said thank you very graciously and returned home with him, to fight about who would vacuum the house! (some things never change, eh?)

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Tagged! After A Long Time

The lovely Shaktii tagged me on this one…

  • 1. What was the last thing you put in your mouth? 

A piece of dairy milk chocolate, some noodles, some saunf, some cheese..some…errr..okay okay…*zips lips*

  • 2. Where did you last go on a vacation?

Mainland in Australia

  • 3. Do you play Pokemon Go? 

Woh kya hai bhai??

  • 4. Name someone who made you laugh today?

My Rs…they make me laugh all the time..but they bug me all the time too!

  • 5. How late did you stay up last night?

Between 1 AM and 4 AM (its still last night no?) because R2 had a severe cough…

  • 6. If you could move somewhere else where would it be?

No where…Tasmania is the most perfect place to be !

  • 7. Ever been kissed under the fireworks?

Abey…fireworks ke neeche no sane person gets kissed..would you bother kissing when you would be looking out for your safety..kuch bhi eh?

  • 8. Do you believe ex’s can be friends?

First find me a boyfriend..then I will make him my ex and..and then I will tell you! I have been boyfriend less ALL MY LIFE!!!! *goes into a shell crying loudly and lamenting about the lack of opportunities while growing up in a small town*

  • 9. How do you feel about Dr Pepper?

Errr..what on earth is that?

  • 10. When was the last time you cried?

Yesterday night..due to lack of sleep..I was bawling with R2 hehehe

  • 11. Who/what was the last person/thing you took a picture/video of?

Errr…Errr..*checks phone, shakes it, rattles it, and then checks again*

  • 12. Was yesterday better than today?

Yeh kya question hai yaar!

  • 13. Can you live without TV?

Yes..totally..I dont watch TV at all!

  • 14. Are you upset?

Eh? Why would I be?

  • 15. Do you think relationships are ever really worth it?

Of course..that is why homo sapiens sapiens are called social beings, no?

  • 16. If you could have any job/career, which would you choose?

hahahahahhah *bursts out laughing so loudly* at this time..anything…

  • 17. Are you a bad influence? 

As if anyone would admit to it..hmpf! Well, I think only to my girls…

  • 18. Can you tag two you think will fill this out?

Anyone with a writer’s block take it up eh?

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