So R and I have been talking. Tell me something new. Honestly, the way my girls talk, I wish there was a switch off button available at times. I have people in R’s swim class who know all about R2’s daycare and what all her mom cooks for her and why the world is not cold and what not. R2 keeps talking to them all the time. They are, of course, amazing folks who keep answering her never ending questions and are extremely sweet to her.
Anyway, I digress.
So R and I. We were talking that day. About a lot of things. R is pretty much aware of menstruation (Thanks to Mayil will not be Quiet – Thanks Sowmya! and Menstrupedia). We have had conversations on sanitary napkins, tampons, menstrual cups and cloth. We have spoken about how babies are born. She knows everything she needs to know at her age about sex and boys.
We have spoken about coloring her hair.
RM:No, you can’t till you turn 18.
R: But, why not?
RM: Too many chemicals.
R: I will colour it red like that Aliya in Chak De.
RM: I don’t care what you do after you turn 18.
R: Okay, mom (Followed by an eye roll)
She has told me about what her friends speak about boys. She asked me if I was okay if she had a crush. I said, of course. Everyone has crushes.
We have spoken about kissing (she thinks its gross to kiss on the mouth, I said may be you will like it when you are older).
R: Why would people do that?
RM: Its a form of showing your affection, like cuddling or hugging.
R: But all that saliva, won’t germs get passed on?
RM: Oh well. Just brush your teeth before you kiss. Then you will be all minty in the mouth.
We have spoken about having boyfriends.
R: Will you be okay if I have boyfriend?
RM: Yes, of course, as long as you come back home on time and tell me where you are going. Once you turn 18, you don’t have to. But till then you will have to.
R: Oh okay!
We have spoken about having babies and the process of delivery. R knows that she was a vaginal birth baby while R2 was an emergency C sec. When I took R for her flu vaccine, she didn’t expect the pain to last for 10 seconds. The doctor put in the needle and inserted the vaccine and R shouted ‘stop stop’. She just put her head down and cried silently. After about 2 minutes her head surfaced up and her eyes were full of tears, with the tears rolling down her cheeks. I didn’t expect it would pain so much for her and was so taken aback. I said ‘its okay da, you will feel okay’ The doctor looked at her face and was so shocked. She was like oh my God you are really brave. It must hurt isn’t it?
R nodded her head but said ‘Thank you Doctor.’ I guess the doctor didn’t expect that. She was a bit overwhelmed.
As we stepped outside, R went ‘I AM NOT TAKING ANY VACCINE EVER AGAIN’. I burst out laughing. Here was a kid who was trying to control her emotions and being polite to the doctor and then she just burst out 🙂
Anyway, we were just talking about needles and I told her, you need to chin up a bit. I told her about her due to R2’s emergency C-sec, I had to take an injection in my spine all the while under going labour pains.
She seemed a bit aghast and said ‘okay, mom, may be babies are better adopted, aren’t they?’
I said, to be honest, R, I thinking delivering is the easiest part of parenting, it is the bringing up part which seems to tough.
She sat thinking for two minutes and said ‘okay, mom. I have decided!’
Decided what re? I asked her.
She said in a very definite tone, ‘I am NOT having babies. I am just getting two dogs and will bring them up! No delivery worries, no adoption tension and absolutely no bringing up problems’
I just shut up!