From the drafts, written a few weeks ago and then re-worked on!
Today morning, when I woke up the brat, she got up with a start and said ‘Amma, amma, check my calender’
RM: What happened
R: There was Hindi assignment..
RM: No da, there was a note saying open house tomorrow
R: No, Hindi teacher had given an assignment and I had kept it in first page
The next 5 minutes were spent searching the entire bag, but we couldnt find it!
R got super panicky.
R: Amma, abhi teacher gussa karegi..I promise Amma, I kept in first page, woh kahan gaya..
RM: Its okay day, dont worry, I will write a note and tell teacher you lost it…and you can show her the note and apologise
R: But amma, she will give me punishment
RM: What punishment
R: Stand with your hands on the head
RM: I dont think she will, but if she still does, go on and do it
R: It hurts na Amma
Ah well, this got me thinking. The parenting method now a days seems to frown on the whole punishment thing. I have read many many many articles which say dont punish, talk it out, dont shout, discuss, etc etc.
But as a parent, especially someone who spends very few hours with her child, I must admit, I am the yelling types. I lose my temper easily, I scold her, and yesterday evening when we were sitting for her dictation revision, she said ‘I dont like you Amma, I want another Amma’
I told her to go and get another one
She told me she will speak to her father about it seriously. :)
But as per my mother, I am a pretty laid back mom. She says, I let R get away with a lot of things she wouldnt have let me or bro get away with. Having said that, she did let me know that everyone has a different parenting method and there is really no right or wrong as far as parenting is concerned.
I have been thinking. Do all children really understand discussing, talking, making eye contact, or do some children respond only to strict discipline? My MIL has always told me that I let R take too many decisions on her own – What to wear, whether to drink milk in the morning or not, etc etc.
RD does sometimes tell me, that we have given her too much freedom! May be we have, I dont know.
But I digress.
My point is with teachers. Should teachers be strict? What is the limit they can go to?
My mother confesses she was a very strict teacher. The one who would just have to go and stand on the stage during assembly and there would be pin drop silence just as she stood there. But she was also the one who was most loved. A lot of children have come back to school just to meet her and thank her. When Amma started her career, she has even whacked some kids for indiscipline, until the rule came in that teachers cant hit students. She admits she has scolded children and shouted at them and given punishment like sit alone, or stand on the bench, or something in those lines.
But she had one rule. Before the day ended, she would go to that child, talk to the child politely, tell the kid why she thought he/she were wrong and then make friends with the kid before sending the kid back home.
She always always did it.
This Teacher’s day, apparently a student of her’s called her (He got her number from some other teacher). Amma couldnt really place him but he insisted that she would remember him because he had been shouted at and punished a lot of time by her. Finally Amma could place him. He told her, ‘Ma’am, you have scolded me so much, I was so bad in studies, but one thing which you always told us in the class so many times is that ‘Nothing is impossible in this world if you try really hard’ and yes I realised it because I am doing my computer engineering from a prestigious college now. My parents still cant believe that I am doing this course. But all thanks to you. What you told us in every lecture got drilled into me so much that I have realised, truely nothing is impossible’ Amma told me this on the phone the other day :)
When I had gone for R’s first open house, the Hindi teacher had confessed that she was a strict teacher and would be strict to the children. At that time, all the parents said, yes yes be strict, our children need strict teachers. etc etc. (now that they are cribbing about it, is a different issue!)
So how do teachers discipline students? Do they shout, do they ignore, do they give small punishments, or do they be really really strict? Handling 40 to 45 kids in a class is no joke, especially those who are young. Should children fear their teachers? Or should they act super friendly with the students? Should teachers be allowed to give punishment to children, or should they use the current parenting methods of trying to be firm and yet loving?
I dont know. How do teachers do it now a days?