Yesterday I was talking to a colleague at work. She was mentioning how her two year old is getting out of hand and she keeps getting complains about how she hits people, pulls hair, etc etc.
I told her about how I used to get complains about R during the same age. I told her thats why they are called the ‘Terrible Twos’ and warned her that it is going to get worse till she turns 6 or something, post which there will be other kind of troubles, which I didnt want to scare her about 🙂
She mentioned how she was trying to control her temper but after a limit, she seems to lose it and shout at her child.
I told her I do it to. She seemed a bit surprised. Really? But you are a mother of two!
Me: All the more reason, I scream more. So much so, that my older one calls me the screaming Amma.
She: I am really trying RM, but somehow, whatever I do, she pushes me into screaming. I try so hard not to lose my temper, but she pushes me the wrong way.
Me: Errrr…so its normal na…you are also human, you will end up losing your temper. As long as you try your level best not to scream unnecessary, sometimes, its okay to let go and shout eh?
She: but but I read so many articles, which say that ignore, or just let the child be. Dont shout, it will have an opposite effect, etc…I feel so guilty later on!
Me: Ah well, its true. You should avoid screaming. But if you cant ignore after a while, just scream and let off the steam. Do you remember what your mother did to you when you were 2 years? Kids have short term memory. As long as the shouting, screaming and abuse is not done on a regular basis, its absolutely okay.
Me: well, its okay as per me. You may want to seek professional advice eh?
She laughed and I could see a weight lift off her face. It was like she was just waiting to hear from someone that her kid was normal and that shouting at her kid did not make her a bad mom.
It doesn’t. I am not saying, scream at the drop of a hat, or shout everytime. All I am trying to say, that once a while, its absolutely okay, to shout at your kid.
Like I tell R ‘ Why do you think I had R2?’
Why Amma, for me? She asked.
Nah, I said. ‘I had R2 since you were getting older and no fun shouting at you. Now I have another kid I can shout at once a while, and have some fun!’
For once, my smart mouthed older kid was dumbstuck and didnt know how to respond to that heheh 🙂