Dear R2

I have reached this point when I am this close to snapping! Really!

I am so so bugged with people judging me because your skin is bad! The doctor mentions atopic dermatitis and says we just need to keep moisturing your skin. Nothing else is needed as of now! Unfortunately you are still looking like ‘Rudolf the red cheeked reindeer’ and there is nothing I can do about it!

I have been patiently answering everyone…

Yes its an allergy

No I dont know what is causing it

Yes we have shown it to a doctor

No he hasnt adviced any medicines

Yes we plan to do an allergy test

No we cant do it now since she is too young

So on and so forth!

I am really fed up telling folks NOT to touch your cheeks! I know its normal human reaction to touch a kid’s cheeks (actually I am abnormal I never touch any kid’s face…am too scared!

but when you see the kid’s cheeks so red and rough…wouldnt you rather avoid touching them? 

The skin doesnt seem to bother you at all, but as a mother, sometimes, I feel so helpless….like I did something wrong and this happened!

Your N masi gave me a big lecture the other day about stop feeling guilty and even my kid had it and just dont get too worked up! I did feel a bit better after that…

I dont know,kid, what to do. As of now I am just patiently answering questions and telling people all the time not to touch your cheeks. Funnily the kids need to be told only once, after that they dont touch…but the adults….sigh!

On top of that, I get advice on what can be applied, how my leaving you and going to work may cause some distress and this is a reaction to that, how am I going to leave you at the daycare from next month onwards!

I hope and pray you get better soon

Love and Hugs

Amma

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About R's Mom

Not-so-new-mom
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38 Responses to Dear R2

  1. My Era says:

    {{ Hugs RM}}
    I am totally with you on getting paranoid about people not paying attention to a baby’s cheeks being red and yet pulling the cheeks like there’s no tomorrow. Because Pari too has very sensitive skin and had atopic dermatitis around one year of age.
    I totally agree with all you’ve written because I have been in your shoes not very long ago. There are a zillion things that Pari’s skin over-reacts to.
    But at that age it turned out to be the Johnson’s baby soap. Yes, it sounds weird but my nephew too had similar reaction to this soap around R2’s age and both Pari & my nephew benefited by strictly avoiding any Johnson’s products (oil included) around face & neck.

    Sincerely hoping you too find out the possible irritant soon. Please don’t lose peace (which I know is too big a call) and if you do, please don’t feel guilty because every mom in your shoes reacts exactly like this.
    * Sorry for a post length comment. Love to you and the kids 🙂

    • R's Mom says:

      Hugs ME! The brat too doesnt use any JnJ products…The doc has prescribed some other soap n lotion…hugs to my darling kutty Pari and thanks for writing this comment! I feel so much better after reading the comments

  2. Tharani says:

    Hugs RM. Hope she gets completely cured soon. Will pray for her!

  3. Jo says:

    What?? U leaving her and going to work cause this?? How stupid of these folks.. Cool down RM. Such skin problems are normal for kids. Even my niece had this problem. The only thing my sis was to keep moisturizing, like you said. Don’t give ur heart to such stupid comments! Grrr..

  4. I will suggest you something as soon as I have a handle on my own damn skin first. Sheesh. Haha
    Isn’t that thing very common with babies?? I usually see babies have cracked dry skin around mouth and nose and cheeks. In my head I thought they are molting out old ski like snakes. :-/

  5. My daughter had it too. It could also be caused through your hormones if you are breastfeeding her. Whatever the reason, its generally something that will go away with time. And doctors here just suggest what you are already doing, and to leave it alone. Please don’t stress.

    And if it helps, there have been numerous studies of how children of working moms grow up more confident and secure. Give back the guilt, dont take it on yourself.

  6. Divya says:

    Just say” What her cheeks turned Red, YOU DID It and cry loudly! ” – this to the adults, the kids will be scarred.
    I had a tough time with adults too when my little one was baby. No skin issues or anything i just hated why on earth everyone wants to touch and pinch the baby like its fountain of youth and they will get something out of it. Hated the kissing part, even now…

  7. Bingo's Mom says:

    Bingo has out toeing problem. I have heard worst things from people, from ‘You are not feeding her properly’ to ‘she is not going to walk at all’. Best is to ignore them. I think it’s a common tendency of people to give free advices whether it is required or not. Just ignore. It only gives stress if we listen to them.
    You are doing great with R and R2 and you are the best!

  8. summerscript says:

    Hugs Darling!!! These days everyone is a doctor giving advice telling what to do!
    But frankly what can we do.. can we go take a class to all these adults about how not to judge a person?If thats the case I would have to teach till I die , there will be so many batches and the students will definitely fail anyway.

    The only thing I can do is to ignore all these people.

    I never go pick up a kid unless and until she/he is ready to come to me. Now being a mother I really don’t do that. But I have seen ppl snatching Volt from my arms .On Volt’s first birthday one lady snatched her forcefully and was posing for pics with Volt. Volt was wailing. Guess who had to take the pics!! ME!!!! I got so so so angry that day RM (even now I am) but what to do..Go yell at a 50 year old woman?? I took two snaps and took volt away saying that we can take pics once she is a bit calm. Where is the common sense?

    I understand about the NOT touching part. Loads of love and hugs to you and little R2 dear.
    R2, the little fighter will fight it off and will soon be OK. Loads of love and prayers.

  9. Greenboochi says:

    Hugs RM. R2’s skin is going to be normal very soon. And about all these people who keep bugging you… sigh! Adults never learn.

  10. ashreyamom says:

    Arjun too had it RM.. dont worry.. i was advice to use derama dew baby soap, and lot of moisturizer.. kept telling ppl not to kiss him on cheeks.. dont worry it will be alright..

  11. UmaS says:

    Hey come on RM…this is not the time to lose your cool ! Many kids have this issue and even my cousin’s daughter was having this issue but now at 4 years it seems to have disappeared magically. We generally use Gingelly oil for our skin, if that’ll help. I’m not giving advice on what you should apply and all, its just a thought.
    BTW…((super tight mommy hugs)) and praying for miracles in the skin condition of the little R2 🙂

  12. Ah! The adults have trouble understanding instructions! Here;s to hoping R2 bounces back in no time 🙂

  13. Varsh says:

    Judging must be the middle.name of all such pestering folk. Royally ignore!!
    I do hope she feels better soon. She’s a brave girl. ☺

  14. Shweta says:

    I understand what you are going through… My baby had similar rashes… Doctor said it could be Atopic dermatitis .. but cant be sure until proper tests are done and it was too soon to do for her… mostly the rashes were around her eye brows and cheeks.. then we came across one doc.. with whose help its better now…
    Few things he told us to do :
    1. keep the skin moisturized all the time ( we applied cream all over her body 4-5 times a day and reduced the frequency and applied only when felt the skin was be dry, slowly with time her skin got better)
    2. Prescribed a Cream we still use once daily – Sebmed Baby Cream (German Made) for extra soft skin, since my baby’s skin is too dry
    3. for the rashes – prescribed a Gel – Atonide Gel ( to be applied ONLY on the rash or red area, if no redness then no gel)

    Since you stay in Mumbai the climate is humid and might add to your woes… but u can chek with your doc if the above mentioned cream and gel will suit R2

    One desi tip – give R2 plenty of water to drink, coconut water helps too 🙂 some doctors advised coconut oil but it wasn’t much of a help for us .. we used to apply coconut oil and her skin would get dry again within 2-3 minutes of applying

  15. Vinitha says:

    Hugs! You are the best mom 🙂

  16. Nidaa C says:

    Dear RM… I sooo feel your pain (irritation!). I especially hate the tone these people use. As if you deliberately caused the allergy. My sister used to cry a lot bcz people wouldn’t give it a rest about my nephew’s eczema.
    Another thing. Grown-ups seem to think they can touch and pinch kids cheek as they like. Even when the kid in question clearly shows discomfort! Even when the parent explicitly tell not to do so. Why do people choose to get offended like- Oh as if we havent seen a child before, oh she and her touch-me-not kid, what does she think of herself, as if we have AIDS, what a fusspot and so on.
    That day when I went to see my aunts kid, they wanted me to hold the baby. I said wait, let me wash my hands. I did and then applied sanitizer before reaching out for the baby. The women there were tittering saying ‘Oh shes all American’. I was like F** you, I am doing this so the child wont get ill.
    And when my nephew was small and when I used to take him for a walk outside, random people wd come up and pull his cheeks, which he hated (he would squirm in discomfort or start yelling). No amount of telling them stopped it. then I started taking a step back when i saw people reaching out to pinch him. Jokes about my ‘over-protectiveness’ went around for at least a year.
    Sorry for the rant! My cousin who recently had a baby is going through the same and I am really afraid that she is going to snap soon.

    • R's Mom says:

      aiyo hugs re! I can so understand your sister’s issues!

      and LOL on American! really? just because you are being careful! uffff!

      This pulling cheeks business needs to stop re!

  17. CP says:

    You have not done anything wrong. Stop being hyper if you are still feeding her. Be calm and see your calmness will affect her too.

    • R's Mom says:

      No I am not feeding her anymore re! She stopped by herself and I didnt find the enthu to continue 🙂

      but yes, I understood your thought behind my need to be calm 🙂

  18. Err.. I am sorry I am a bit too late to comment on the post 😦 . I just hope and pray that R2 recovers fast. Hugs to you and just a flying kiss to R2. 😀

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