Dear R

Sometimes in life, you need to stand up for yourself and speak. Sometimes in life, you need to be a leader and not a follower. And sometimes in life, you just need to leave friends who are fair feathered and be alone.

I hate to tell you all this when you are all but an innocent 6 year old, but unfortunately, this bullying happening on you is getting out of hand. Amma and Appa have not yet interfered, because both of us firmly believe, that kids sort out their own problems and the lesser adults interfere, the better it is.

But yesterday, was kind of horrible for me. Your Baroda thathi has always told me that ‘delivering a child into this world is perhaps one of the easiest tasks, its the bringing up the child which is the toughest part of parenting’ I didnt believe too much in her, but I think I have now started agreeing to that. And she also told me when I would crib as you were an infant, on when you would grow up. She told say this age is much easier to handle, the older they grow, the tougher it is to parent them. And sigh! I must admit shamefacedly that she is right.

The 10 year old in the building has no business bullying you, poisoning your friends’ ears against you, calling you ‘Kali’ or saying that you would cry even if a leaf falls off the branch. He has absolutely no business doing it. While fights are totally fine, and show that you guys are normal, he is now going towards bullying you badly! and the sad part is your other friends who are your age are just following what he is doing. He is instigating them to ignore you. Yesterday when I came back from office late at 8.15 and Appa had to rush upstairs to catch the maid, I saw you standing forlorn in a corner, with tears brimming in your eyes, and you gave me such a weak smile as if to tell me everything was alright. But kid, remember, I am your mother. I understand every emotion of yours. The other three kids including Mr. Bully were standing on the other side of the building and whispering something pointing out to you. I just asked you to accompany me to the house and you agreed immediately without any arguments.

In the lift, you broke down and told me how your friends including that bully were ignoring you and how he was instigating them and calling you names. And this is perhaps the 3rd or 4th time, this is happening.

I must admit, darling, that for a second, my heart broke. I felt helpless as a mother. But I realised that I cant fight your battles for you. You need to learn to stand up to that guy and put him in place.

Remember how he pulled the hair of that other didi who is about 10 years and she gave him back to him immediately saying you touch me, and I will beat you to pulp. Well, I dont ask you to do that, but at least, tell him that yes I am what I am and no, I dont need you to tell me what to do and what not to do.

You have to do it beta, because there are so many more battles you need to fight, in order to survive in this world. Unfortunately, human relations are not as simple as they seem in childhood. Hundreds of layers, thousands of shades, and millions of egos. All this will be there in every relationship and each needs to be handled differently.

Yes, Amma and Appa told you yesterday to fight it out and not take it lying down. Remember, when push comes to shove, we are always always there for you. We will not let you down. I promise on that.

Loads of love and always here for you

Amma