You Know You Are a Second Born

Sanch wrote a really funny but perceptive post on being first born

And inspired by her post, here is a second born’s reply to that

1. Constant Comparison: As second borns, you are expected to follow the first born. There is a constant comparison. Even if your parents dont make it, others will. Always.

I remember when I entered class 8. Bro has been this ideal model child at school with impeccable manners and known everywhere as the boy who could always been depended upon.

Enter his younger sister who is a back bencher, talkative brat whose favorite activity is to trouble teachers.

A teacher actually asked me astonished ‘You are RMB’s sister…really really? You have the same set of parents…how???”

2. Hand me downs – A second born always gets some hand me downs. One way or the other. In my case, I had a brother whose school books would look EXACTLY the same at the end of the year as they would at the start. He was really really good in keeping his books neat and clean. Which of course meant that three years down the line, I would get his books. They would be without any scribbles, neatly covered and absolutely new looking. But but…for a kid, they were not new eh?

Well I must admit by the time one month passed into the school session, the books would resemble a rat which had been really bitten badly from all sides giving a whole new meaning to the term dog eared!

One of my friends, one day actually told me, Really really RM, how how exactly do you manage to keep your books like this and yet study!

3. Example set: When you are a second born, the first born is an example to everything you do. Right from writing neatly to joining the right course to study!!! You always always have someone telling you ‘see your older sibling, why cant you be more like him/her’

4. Never know what is being a lone child: your older sibling has the advantage of knowing what is is to be a lone child. You know the constant pampering, every wish catered to, yaada yaada..but you are born with a sibling..always…all your life!

5. The milestones recorded: The time your older sibling rolled over is recorded in the baby book or in the parents memory for ever, but ask anyone about what month you really turned over and you will get a reply ranging from 3.5 months to 8.5 months and 32 days and 22 minutes afterwards!!! no one really remembers what you did when..lost your tooth..acha okay throw it in the dustbin or put it under that tree...but for the first born it would have been oh my God, my kid lost his/her first tooth and all that!!!

Having said this, I must admit that I have never for a moment felt that my parents ever differentiated between my older brother and me. He did what I did and I did what he did. Right from cleaning wash basins to dusting furniture etc etc. Of course, he had an advantage of a headstart, but I was always the kid in a hurry to catch up too soon. I am sure he will agree to a lot of stuff that Sanch has written, because its after all, the story of his life 🙂

When my first child turned out to be a girl, a lot of folks told me its good, because if I have another kid, I will be lucky as the girl will take proper care of my second child yaada yaada.

Folks who dont know my brother. My brother has done everything from cleaning my bum when I was a wee little infant to combing my hair to taking me in the peak sun double seat in his cycle to standing outside my dance class for an hour every alternate day because I wouldnt let him in. Everything. 🙂

But then, I am just plain lucky eh?

Second borns, anything to add to my list?


About R's Mom

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32 Responses to You Know You Are a Second Born

  1. VJ says:

    I was nodding all the way through ! I can only add hand me down clothes that I had to wear for my first 18 years of my life.

    I read the below article recently…quite similar to your post but its a mom’s perspective !

  2. Haha…nice one RM. I was going to do a second-born one next week. Thought I should give due justice… but I’m sure my sis will agree to all that you’ve said! 🙂

  3. srividhya says:

    Being a single child, I dunno what to comment 😉 But I have always wished that I could have had a sibling. 😦

  4. Visha says:

    Haha, I am a first born, your point of view is bang on! With the second born, the first born no longer is the baby of the house, no matter how many years pass by 😀

  5. anisnest says:

    I could think of only positives RM because I have always loved having my elder bro.. He had pampered me to the core and took care of me more than anyone else.. I could now see the same with Adi too.. the way she pampers LHB is way beyond her age. Like how to elder ones bring their share of sweets or chocolate from school and share it with us in the evening. they save it in their lunch box, like how the elder one is always more responsible and we remain to be the child forever. I say the second ones are the spoiled ones and the elder ones are paavam..

  6. Pingback: Days of Gratitude – Sep 2 | Sunshine and Rainbows!

  7. kinmin says:

    I read Sanch’s post and then this one, and this is also so cute and funny! And it does remind me of my older sister who is the second born in our family! I shared these with both my sisters! 🙂 I should follow up with a post about being the youngest sibling! 🙂

  8. As a second born, I found thatmy parents were less strict with me as far as going out etc. were concerned…I hated wearing hand-me-downs whilst my sister wore only new clothes…

  9. Cute list!

    I am the only child of my parents, and have ALWAYS wanted siblings – first born or second born. I wouldn’t want anyone to feel the loneliness of the only child that I felt and still feel. Not that I haven’t been happy at all, but there has been a pinch in this regard at times. 😦

  10. Rachna says:

    I am a second born, in a unique position as I did have a younger brother. I don’t remember my parents comparing us. Besides I was a really obedient child who excelled at studies. Every parent’s dream, right? 🙂 When I tell this to my son, he rolls his eyes and says, “Mom, your lack of modesty is seriously disturbing!” 😀

  11. I’m an only born, so can’t add to this. But it was a very refreshing take RM 🙂

  12. Trish says:

    Haven’t read the post yet..but just saying HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII and marking attendance..trying to be back on the blogging scene 😀
    Hope you are well,my lovely

  13. Bikramjit says:

    Thank god I was the first born 🙂 and that too in the whole family and also a BOY 🙂

  14. hitchy says:

    you are suddenly discarded of the place between your parents because someone new has arrived! 😛 thats the one I think you forgot! 😛

  15. I am an only child so couldn’t relate to yours or Sanch’s post. But it was fun reading. 🙂

  16. pixie says:

    I’m a first born.. 😛 😛

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