The Grown Up Days Are Here to Stay!

I guess the brat is growing up. She doesnt seem to need me 24 by 7. While the practical human being in me is all happy about it, you know, looking forward to me time and all that, some part of me, does feel a bit weird.

R went on a trip to Sabarimalai with RD. She climbed the malai by herself, she had hurt her big toe really bad, but that didnt stop her from racing to the top. She was one of the first to reach the temple and climbed it bare feet. She didnt speak to me for 4 days. They left on Saturday with the group and then went to like some 100 temples in Kerala and then climbed the malai on Wednesday. The brat spoke to me on Thursday morning. And I will be lying if I say I didnt miss hearing her voice or screaming at her. For four days, she didnt talk to me, ask for me or even bother about me. Which is great you know, I mean, she is independent but the mother in me feels a bit unwanted eh? Talk about being sentimental. But again, I would be lying if I say that I didnt enjoy the 1 week of solitude. I did. I enjoyed the peace and quiet without the father and daughter fighting and arguing about everything under the earth!

Of course, once she came back from the malai, she stuck to me like glue and asked me why I couldnt go with her to malai next year, yaada yaada…but on the whole, it has been fine.

Today morning, when I left for office (the inlaws were going to drop her to daycare) she just waved to me and said bye amma. I must admit, I was a bit shocked. I should be really happy you know. I expected myself to look back at the time when she would cling to me, cry her heart out and then saying Amma mat jaao…actually not. I am very happy she said bye happily :):)

Now a days, we have kids playing in our building downstairs. Its a surprise. For years, no kids played down, but suddenly this summer has seen loads of kids of different age groups mixing, playing, shouting, fighting…R is eager to come back from daycare. She reaches at 7, and rushes down to play. And then comes up not before 8.30 or 8.45 PM that too after much cajoling, threatening, shouting, crying from both ends. Which means effectively I spend hardly 2 hours with her in a day. But does she miss me? No she doesnt. She is happy, she is enjoying and she is having fun.

As children grow up, they depend lesser and lesser on their parents. Its a fact of life. I am glad in a way, because it makes me feel great looking forward to some me time for myself.

Just wished she had lesser friends in the building though. She wants a party this year, as she turns six. We have successfully avoided one for 5 years now. But this year, she is adamant on calling her building friends. Which are a LOT! Someone save me!

More on the growing up part in coming posts 🙂

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About R's Mom

Not-so-new-mom
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40 Responses to The Grown Up Days Are Here to Stay!

  1. Deeps says:

    Awww your li’l big girl is growing up! Tight hugs to the darling! And to you too, RM..I know the feeling of wanting to see your child independent and yet not wanting to let go 🙂

    So she wants to go to malai again next year! Brave kutty!
    LOL you wants a bday party too! Good luck on the planning…don’t pull your hair much,ok! 😉

    • R's Mom says:

      hugs will be passed…

      oh yaa..she is very enthused about the malai trip :):)

      nah! Will just keep some chips and slice and kids should be happy 🙂

  2. srividhya17 says:

    Grown up days are gonna hit me soon.. but I m not ready for it..:-( right now he needs me every now n then but not always..I can n i m doing lot of my own things.. but I feel guilty about if I m taking care of him properly or not.sighhhh
    Bday partiesss I can understand… Organize some games r DIY activities. They will have fun 4 sure..

  3. Maya says:

    I can understand, RM! I am myself going through this growing up phase. Although not as much as R, I can see the kids getting less-dependent on me!

    Give a big bear hug to R on my behalf, okay! 🙂

  4. The Bride says:

    Aw bittersweet! I recall my mom shouting for me to come up at 8.30 and all the kids in the building chorusing “please aunty, only 10 minutes!” which would be repeated for every aunty that called their child up. Can’t imagine building in India where that doesn’t happen, but I guess times are changing.

    You can’t escape the birthday party forever…just make sure there are lots of wafers and everyone will be happy.

    • R's Mom says:

      LOL thats exactly what happens with R..yesterday the 10 minutes went till 9.10 till I actually had to threaten R and tell her that she can sleep in the lobby!!!

      yes yes..chips and juice is the plan

  5. Rachna says:

    It is a bittersweet feeling see them grow up and become less dependent on parents. Like you, I felt quite happy that now they could manage things on their own. With my elder son stepping into the teenage years, I am bracing myself for rebellions :).

  6. mahabore says:

    Hmm, I sense some separation pangs in this post, but then you also seem happy to see your little one grow up and grow independent. Am glad she is having fun with kids her own age and is learning to be her own person, so to speak 🙂

  7. i know exactly what you feel…..have just started getting the feel of that……its a mixed feeling right ? 🙂 😦

  8. Son-chiraiya, udd chali re…… 🎶

  9. Wow, R is indeed growing up. 4 days of not asking for you is huuuuuge! I guess you can just embrace the fact that she is getting confident and independent and you can enjoy your precious time with her in other ways – reading and discussing books together , baking/ cooking etc, all of which I am sure you do already! I say I can’t wait for my toddler who cries a ton each morning during daycare drop off to reach R’s age and level of independence but I know , I like you will have some mixed feelings when we get to that point.

  10. telugumom says:

    I totally agree with you. Sarath is just over 6 now and he too does not need me much. Although I am happy about that, I miss it too…

  11. Deboshree says:

    Ah, life goes on. 🙂 I am sure that party will succeed in driving you crazy! 😀

  12. rohini26 says:

    Why are they in such a hurry to grow up, I ask? Mine have been with my mom and don’t seem to miss me in the least.

  13. Awww, such a bittersweet post, RM! 🙂

  14. iwrotethose says:

    Uff yeh emotions. No, I don’t mean yours. I mean us parents’ in general. Wouldn’t it be lovely if we could just keep hold of them when we want and let them go when we want. Sigh….lovely post R’s mom.

  15. Bikramjit says:

    Ah ha the little one is growing up then .. Excellent GOD BLESS her.. and i hope my invite is in POST…

    kids are much smartert these days

    Ps.. Bikram here .. just in case you think who you need to post the invite.

  16. She is growing up all right! But you’ll always be her mum and she’ll come rushing to you when she needs you! Missed your blog RM…slowly catching up on my reading.

  17. shachi18 says:

    It’s always bitter sweet, but we rather have the kids grow up than not, right :)?

    I LOVE to do parties for the kids….it’s the same logic as growing up, they will only want them for a few years. After that, they will only celebrate with friends.

    Keep a few kid friendly snacks, a couple of games, preferably some DIY stuff (how about those warli t-shirts that you paint) so that can serve as a take-home present as well.

    I invited an art teacher last year to do canvas painting with the kids – it was a sooper hit. Even the little ones like 2-3 yr olds could do it with a little bit of help from parents.

    Good luck!

    • R's Mom says:

      Really Shachi *falls at feet and asks for blessings*

      T shirt painting and canvas painting..are you kidding me? I am doing ‘throw the ball into the bucket’ and ‘passing the parcel’ thats it!!!

  18. hitchy says:

    Mom’s will be moms! When the kid gives space they feel unwanted! 😀 lol!!!

    Tell me about it… my wife brought me back early from my holiday coz she missed her son… who was quite cool about it all! :-/

  19. Deepa says:

    And here I thought there could only be one terrible mother on earth ho managed to ‘cheat’ her child out of an official birthday party for a good 9 years:-)!!!! Because kiddie parties and me are terribly allergic you see. I avoid them like the plague. But this year he turned 10 and months before the big day he began a campaign. Constant chants(and some taunts:-)), posters on his bedroom wall cut out of magazine advertisements(for party places around town), menu ideas slipping cunningly into conversations, sly references to so-and-so’s very fun B’day party and the final master move “tear works factory” full on. I caved in, employed the Blue Bride’s strategy of outsourcing without guilt and threw him one thinking “bachche tu bhi kya yaad karega”. Now given that he hadn’t had one until this grand ole’ age he invited the whole class which BTW is 44 kids. I prayed like crazy that most wouldn’t accept because I’d have had to break into college savings to pay for it and serves him right if I did:-) So 22 accepted, I heaved a sigh of relief and in the end they had fun.

    Hugs and prayers your way that by the time her B’day rolls around she’s in temporary ‘katti’ with some of her building pals:-) (just a joking ok?)

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