The Reluctant Traveller

I must confess I am not a good traveler. Infact, I dont like travelling much. I find it a hassle because

1. Ticket availability and the money and the effort that goes in securing the tickets
2. The packing. What to pack, what not to pack, what to take, what not to take and this becomes even more cumbersome with a child around. Should I take her rubber sheet, will she pee in the train, how do I make her go to potty, yaada yaada
and most importantly

AFTER I come back, I HATE HATE unpacking. I hate putting the tons of clothes to wash and even worse, I hate drying them, and folding them and keeping them back in. and then of course, the fact that the vacation has actually ended. That makes me super sad.

In short, in about 8 years of marriage, I must confess RD and I have taken only ONE vacation (our honeymoon!) otherwise, its either going to the in laws house or to the parents house.

RD on the other hand, LOVES to travel. He loves it so much. And yet he is married to someone who is definitely a reluctant traveller!

He has made many offers to take me here and there, and everytime I have refused. And come up with excuses, no money, no leaves at work, R unwell, R too young..yaada yaada…

Some months ago, I got to meet Hitchy and his wife. Now Hitchy is a wonderful person and more importantly, the four of us talked through the night. One of the topics we discussed was about travel. Hitchy has taken a lot of vacations and he was telling RD and me about the benefits of going on vacations. No matter what arguments I came up with, he had a very ready and convincing answer for it.

And finally, RD was like ‘Forget it Hitchy,this girl is never going to travel!’

And then it struck me. Really? I always wanted to travel when I was a kid. I wanted to become a journalist and cover countries reporting interesting facts so that children would be enticed to learn more geography. What happened to that dream of mine? Did it die like a lot of other dreams which I have given up running behind this whole money thing?

I may not be able to travel this year due to various reasons, but definitely I had decided from next year onwards, we are going to go on vacations as a family, to a place apart from the inlaws and parents house. When I think back, I do have the fondest memories of meeting my cousins in Calcutta, but equally lovely are the memories of travelling with family friends, on long trips to the south and Saurashtra. My parents couldnt afford a vacation every year, but they sure gave us wonderful trips whenever we could go.

Hopefully next year, will see me explore new places and provide experiences to R which she will learn to cherish. I plan to start small, may be a 3-4 day trip and then perhaps take it forward.

Wish me luck eh?

PS – RD will be given the responsibility of unpacking, and washing the clothes. And when one vacation ends, I can always start planning for the next eh?

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About R's Mom

Not-so-new-mom
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63 Responses to The Reluctant Traveller

  1. Smita says:

    Mera Rumaal!!! Me first!

    • Smita says:

      The problem is that you give the practical aspects of the issue more importance!!! I also hate all those things, like packing & un packing. Hubby would want to unpack immediately and I wud want to postpone for like forever??? πŸ˜€ But once you go for the break you realise how good it is for you!! It refreshes you!!! And with time i have changed…this alibauh trip ke baad it was I who had put all the clothes for a wash!!! I had surprised myself!!!

      And u know what? As you only go to in eith ur bro or in laws or ma papa ka place woh vacation ka mazaa nahin rehta and u hate doing all the related chores!!!

      *sheepish smile* zyada analysis ho gaya πŸ˜€

      Amen! to your wish of going for vacations next year se!! You go girl!!

    • R's Mom says:

      yes yes…you first

      I agree Smita..agree agree and more agree πŸ™‚

  2. pixie says:

    Hugs RM!!
    I hope you get to travel to all those places RD wants to take you!!

    Hitchy is quite inspiring when it comes to taking holidays!! I’m glad he got you to change your mind! πŸ™‚

  3. greenboochi says:

    I have started to accept that I am a reluctant traveler too RM. I always thought I loved traveling, but I never got around do it seriously. The thought packing and most importantly the unpacking – is too cumbersome. With our biweekly travels to Chennai, I am almost left with no energy to unpack at all. At times, I have left the luggage for full two weeks and have carried the same back to Chennai. Sigh.

    I wish I get to see different places too but then as you say, someone should unpack eh?! πŸ˜€

    • R's Mom says:

      yours is crazy GB..biweekly travel to Chennai can be tough rey…I would have given up by this time…I really really admire you and S for what you guys do..*serious salutes*

      hugs hugs

  4. hitchy says:

    Good Luck Good Luck and More Good luck!!!

    Remember you have an absolutely free travel agent! I will take care of most things like booking, hotels, anything! Apart from you guys going I will take care of anything!

    Infact next year sometime we must do a trip together the 6 of us? what do you say? Ek caar mein 6 people thoda khich pich hoga… but it will be fun!?

    You and RD Game??? Bata dena! πŸ˜€

  5. Tharani says:

    Way to go RM. I am so happy. We are still paying the bills for the Andaman trip that we took but one look at the video where we are scuba diving makes us forget every thing.

  6. srividhya17 says:

    Good decision. Now it should be easy for you to travel with R. (5+ na..)So just go for it and have fun πŸ™‚
    Loads and loads of good luck. πŸ™‚

  7. The Bride says:

    Okay I feel better. I was beginning to feel like the only one who is not keen on gadding around the world. Our family vacations for the past three years have been to parents and in-laws.

    I actually loved travelling, but the kids killed it for me. Both the trips I made back home with kids were horrid, and I figured it would only be worse going to a country where were no relatives to pick up the slack.

    However, I have managed to do short vacations three years running just myself and they were AWESOME! Maybe you should consider that…although one does encounter guilt-inducing questions like “so you’re children are … alone?” (No, they are not alone, there are three adults back home to care for them, just like there are when husband goes on business trips or vacations).

    • R's Mom says:

      oh you are like me as well kya???

      I remember reading about your trips back home..guess it was just bad luck eh? and I guess also that with two kids its definitely more difficult..

      Well, honestly, I just cant think about travelling alone by myself with friends…RD always tells me to go ahead and do it..but somehow, I end up feeling kind of weird about it :):) and yes, I am glad you do it, because it must be definitely refreshing..Gah to people to worry about the kids…of course you are not going to leave them all by themselves right?

  8. Sri says:

    Ohh…hubby and me love to travel…i know packing can be a hassle..i start packing atleast 2 weeks in advance and make a list of important things…many people warned us about travelling with a baby but I didn’t bother! Had to travel to Thirukadayur for my inlaws 60th wedding ceremony when my daughter was 7 months old…

    Unpacking is hard, i know…sometimes the clothes overflow from the laundry basket and a whole week passes before they can be washed..the trick is to not bother about the pile of unwashed clothes!;)

    • R's Mom says:

      Thats a good idea…making a list..

      Really…7 month baby!!! *falls at feet*

      I think I really really really need to grow up :):)

      LOL on the trick..right! will keep that in mind

  9. ashreyamom says:

    because i stay away from everybody except my daughter and MIL, i would like to jump and take any chance of travel.. but again like you, i too think of expense as i have to take in-laws too with me, carry flask, milk, bottles, diaper which fills half my luggage.. the nightmare of carry around the kid as they wont walk for long .. i hope bunty grows fast, then i can think of vacation.. :).

  10. shachi18 says:

    And I travel at every given opportunity – now with two kids in tow :). It is SO much fun – the kids now know the drill and anticipate road/plane trips. Getting to the destination is an episode by itself but the time spent away from home is priceless.

    Hope you get to travel a lot in the coming years!

  11. Pepper says:

    I *LOVE* traveling RM. I am never satisfied, no matter how many places I cover. And I really think I have seen a lot of places. There always seem to be so many more. Thankfully, Mint and I are absolutely alike in this regard and traveling is one of the few passions we share. We totally bond over it. Exploring new places and cities, local cuisines and people watching brings us delight like few other things do..

    Only difference is that unlike you, we don’t come back and unpack immediately. We don’t do any work. We sleep over it and our stuff only gets washed if and when we need it. Since I have a separate set of vacation clothes, I don’t end up needing most of the things I carried. So our suitcases lie unpacked forever.. but really, we don’t care too much.

    Same goes for packing. We pack 1 hour before we leave and we rarely stress over that. I have a feeling that won’t change even after we have a child. (Yes, despite the million things a child needs. But hey, I know I shouldn’t talk until I am in that position.)

    I urge you to travel some more with R. Kids learn a lot when they travel. πŸ™‚

    • R's Mom says:

      Oh Pepper! you and Mint are a class apart…I think you guys have travelled everywhere in the world…

      Okay, thanks for the tips..I really really need to learn to unwind after a trip…I realise the house doesnt need to be exactly back to shape (which is not even like perfect!) immediately….thank you again for the encouragement…I hope one day I can tell you and Mint that we have travelled enough to start competing with you guys on the number of places visited :):)

  12. A part of travel plans for me is the home cleaning bit. When come back from a trip, I don’t want to feel bad about staying in a sty compared to a posh hotel.

    The other thing we try to do is empty the suitcase and put things in the laundry bag. We can deal with the laundry bag later as per routine.

    I love shopping and packing for a trip. I even try to get in shape before one. I get well worked up and excited! So can’t help you in that aspect.

    Finally, we don’t cook a day before leaving and a day after returning. That makes things pretty easy.

    • R's Mom says:

      Okay..thats a great idea….home cleaning before leaving..thanks for this tip as well!

      I think you are super cool…loved the idea of even getting in shape before a trip…

      Yep that cooking part makes sense as well…I should remember that one πŸ™‚

  13. Vinitha says:

    I hope you fall in love with traveling like I do πŸ™‚ I can live out of a suitcase and I am always planning for the next trip. Lucky for me kuttyma and the husband love traveling too. We just got a road trip done and what fun it was.
    One of my tips/tricks is to get a cleaning service done just hours before we leave for the vacation – this helps in 2 ways – you pack ahead and put your suitcases out before the cleaning people come and you come back to a clean house when you return.
    Also I have learned to cut corners – I cut short my travel by 1 day and spend the last day of my vacation at home. Sleeping off, getting the family ready for usual routines

    Good luck and happy travels

    • R's Mom says:

      you travel a LOT as I can get from twitter :):)

      loved loved loved the idea of getting a cleaning service done..then when you come back home, its neat and clean and you feel better…super super idea

      plus the 1 additional day leave..makes so much sense…thanks a bunch!

  14. B. M. says:

    Come to UK…. I can help you in everything for sure πŸ™‚

    (writing only one liner comments .. because you have forgotten me and my blog 😦 😦 😦 😦 )

  15. Maddie says:

    Good luck good luck! You should/must/please travel!!! I love to travel and I am lazy in all those things you say. So it’s my husband who is packing our bags, getting the hotel bookings, flight bookings etc. Doing the laundry calms me down. I might sounds like a psycho but the machine going round and round is kinda soothing πŸ˜‰

    But then again, I live in a foreign country and travel here to the different parts. It’s not required but I feel like am carrying my entire house along with me and all sorts of food for my son. And books and toys, don’t even ask. Plus we don’t even have a car here, so it’s all flight, train, bus thingy. Even then, it’s much more easy than travelling in India where you have to worry about drinking water and good food.

    It’s really important to be a cool chilled out traveller coz that’s how your kids watch you and their travel-persona develops. We have been travelling since my son was a year old and now on a weekend when the weather is sunny, he comes up to us and asks us where are we going today?

    • R's Mom says:

      you guys are truly truly great…

      and thank you for the tip on the chilled out traveller..I learnt a lesson today…need to be careful that I dont pass on my travel jitters to R..will definitely keep that in mind!

      You give me courage πŸ™‚

      BTW, did you find the books, or do you want me to get them and courier? lemme know

  16. Good luck with the resolution! πŸ™‚

    Yes, Hitchy is right – what you are making are excuses. There is an answer for each one of them. πŸ™‚ There is nothing like travel to grow and learn about the world around you, and it is one of the best forms of education for a child. You will be doing R a favour if you take her on trips around the world, or at least in India – she will be learning and growing so much, I can’t express in words!

    Vacations don’t really have to be out-of-the-box, to exotic places, like many travel shows and blogs indicate. You can even try to discover new places in your own city, learn about their history. It’s okay if you only travel to your parents’ and in-laws’ places (I know how difficult it can be to travel with a small child) – what you should do is explore places beyond their houses. πŸ™‚ Try to visit places – famous tourist destinations work too – and learn more about them. Hire a vehicle and just drive along – I’m so, so, so sure RD would be game for this πŸ™‚ – and discover little, quaint places on your own, which are not there in a tourist guide. I’m so sure you’ll fall in love with travelling if you do just this.

    • R's Mom says:

      TGND, you are an inspiration…just like Hitchy…I love the way you chronicle Ahm and Bangalore…Its just so wonderful….so thank you for that tip…

      Muah to you πŸ™‚

  17. Rekha says:

    I love travelling and I’m glad that the mister too loves travelling. If you just focus on the joy of being together away from this madness, the beauty of being close to nature, visiting newer places, getting to know various people, their cultures and traditions, you’ll not fret over the packing, unpacking, washing and folding. I am saying this from experience since I have even traveled when my daughters were just months old to random places. Of course having a little one to handle definitely makes you want to be prepared well. But compared to the era of our parents, we have so much more comfort in these areas too. Look forward to reading a lot of your travelogues. Probably my first visit here and I have offered too much gyaan. Apologies! πŸ™‚

  18. Deeps says:

    Know what RM, don’t think so much about the hassle! Just take that vacation and forget about everything else! It’s just so worth it, trust me. So get planning for next year right now! πŸ™‚

  19. can relate to this..infact i had written a post on my hesitance to travel a few months back…http://confusedhumanity.wordpress.com/2013/11/01/tales-of-a-hesitant-sight-seer/
    But lately, I have started to like it, though I used to force my sorry ass off the couch only because my daughter was adamant about going places, I have in fact started enjoying our little expeditions….
    hope u go on some great trips next year πŸ™‚

  20. Scribby says:

    I love travelling and you already know that πŸ™‚

    once you start doing it, you’ll crave for it, trust me πŸ™‚

  21. Hey,

    I can SO relate to what you are saying here. I used to LOVE traveling and I still do. But when my son travel with me, I worry all the time – about what to pack for him, will he be hungry, will everything be clean, will he behave, etc,etc. I think that is like a mom’s genes kicking in and we can’t do anything about it but be receptive and accept what’s happening within us….may be meditation helps?

    Love reading your posts and I am so delighted to find you on Twitter now. Last but not the least, heartfelt gratitude for sharing and mentioning my posts on one of your columns in an indian mom’s website. Stay happy & blessed!

  22. R and I love traveling. I can’t imagine how it is not to travel. I get restless if I don’t travel for a while. Inspite of traveling a lot I seem to feel I haven’t traveled much. I don’t like expensive gifts but always save money for travel.we just got back from a vacation and I already planning for next.

  23. Prachee says:

    Why next year…there r still 7 months left in 2014….*runs away*..
    Ok…what i meant was…by the time u plan for a long vacation, go for a short weekend trip somewhere nearby…monsoon will be coming next month….lonavala, mahabaleshwar, matheran will be no less than a heaven…go girl go…:-)

    Regarding travelling, i always dreamt of working in one of those travelogue serials..*sigh*

    • R's Mom says:

      oh various reasons Prachee πŸ™‚

      Yaa..may be we should try a nearby destination in August if there are any long weekends *goes to check the office holiday calender*

  24. Rachna says:

    What? I mean… What? You have taken only one vacation so far. I want to reach out and touch your feet :). I take at least two every year. Yes, all those things that you mention are a pain. But who cares? I attack the load of dirty clothes and unpacking slowly for almost a week. Come on, girl, you need to just turn a blind eye to all that. Go to all the places RD wants to take you to. You will have a lot of fun, sachchi.

    • R's Mom says:

      I know I know I know….few people are like me in the world!

      I am glad you take at least two an year..loved your food travelogue of Agra and Delhi :):)

      yes yes yes..pakka going on vacations πŸ™‚

  25. Hey! I have nominated you for the Liebster Award! Thanks for making me laugh every day… πŸ™‚
    Check this out…. http://asplashofmylife.wordpress.com/2014/05/12/329/

  26. Deboshree says:

    I love the title of your post. I also love the focus you are giving to travelling. It certainly is very important to explore new places….reminds to ramp up my travel plans too! πŸ™‚

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