Most kids in Bombay have finished with their exams. The brat finished hers as well. As per her, all her papers went extremely well *laughs out loud on that* and she answered all her oral examinations also properly. Her results are out on April 26th. So will let you know if she passed or not *evil grin*
This examinations are a funny thing. I dont think children upto class 5 should even have exams. I have realised for all the big talks I used to give about not pressurising my child for studying and letting her be, etc etc and yaada yaada,I turned out quite different. Which is suprising me, honestly!
I actually sat with the brat a few days before her exams started and made her go through all the writing work and the spoken part. Does that mean I am turning into a Tiger mom? I dont know. I am finding it extremely difficult to draw that fine line between being a tiger mom and a bindaas mom. I find myself oscillating between the two.
For example, I do follow up with R on her homework. Each day. Everyday. After coming back from office, I check her calender and I check if she has done her homework or if she needs help in anything. But at the same time, I dont bother revising anything with her if the homework is done. Is that becasue she is still in SR.KG? I dont know!
During her exams, I would revise everything with her, make her write all her stuff once and then let her go down to play. And thats it. We were done. I am not sure if thats the right approach?
RD is hardly bothered about her studies. Sometimes he doesnt even know which exam she has. He says he is not going to fret about such things in life. I used to say the same. But if one of us dont, wouldnt that be wrong? I remember my mom sitting with bro and me for our studies, until one day in class 3 I had a major argument with her regarding something our teacher taught us. After that I told her, I will study on my own, I will never ever come to you. And I didnt *gee what a headstrong brat I was!*
I guess the key is to keep a track but not pressurize.(I mean if we dont keep a track, wouldnt it amount to neglecting the child??? I dont know)But my question is how to do that? I seem to be either making her sit down forcibly and make her do her studies, or I seem to be just leaving everything thinking ‘ayega toh theek hai’ types. Which is the right approach? and if neither is right, which is the one that falls in between?
Many schools now a days follow a system where children dont have to do any writing till they turn 6 or 7. Unfortunately, R doesnt go to such a school because we couldnt afford the ones in our area which follow that system. She just goes to a normal school which started writing in Jr. Kg and now they even have stuff like fill in the blanks with has/have. And R gets it right everytime. How? dont ask me, I dont know the rules myself. But my problem is, are we doing the right thing? Should we send her to such a school? I feel there is too much pressure on her, though honestly, she seems to be learning at a normal pace and doesnt seem to have any pressure. She is grasping whats taught, and whatever she doesnt understand, she just tells me ‘Amma nahi aata toh main kya karu?’ Then I think, maybe I am reading too much into the situation. May be this approach is fine as well. After all we also learnt this way.
But the downside of this system is. R cant read by herself. Which kind of makes me feel bad. At nearly 6 years, kids read by themselves right? R struggles to read even 3 letter and 4 letter words. And the worst part is, she is refusing to even make an effort. How much ever I try, she doesnt want to read on her own. I stopped reading her books in the middle in a hope that she will start reading on her own, but thats not happening. I am very worried about it. My mom says am overreacting and she will start reading when she is ready. Pushing her will just make her rebel and she will not start like that. I dont know. I am so confused. And yes, I do confess that I have started comparing her to other children who I know were reading effortlessly at her age. But thats wrong. I know is it. Every child is different. But..but..
Well..so thats the disadvantage of putting her in a normal school. All in all, these exams left me with a lot of questions
1. Whats the fine line of balance between a tiger mom and a bindaas mom?
2. How do you keep track and yet not pressurize your child into studying?
3. How do you get your child to start reading on her/his own?
4. Are studies really that important?
5. Why do we lay so much emphasis on studies? Why am I not worried that she is still scared of water and she is hesitant to swim? That should affect me as well right?
All confusion and no answers? Any help?