I really hope you dont ever have to be a grown up. Because being a grown up really sucks. Of course, that’s not going to happen because growing up is the only truth in life. The reality. Like your father says, the only predictable thing that will happen to you in life, is your death.
I know you are in a hurry to turn 18 because then you can wear your make up, and drive your own car, go to office, things that Amma says you will be allowed to do when you are 18. But my darling, I just want to tell you that being grown up is not really a great thing. I think its extremely over rated.
I wonder why grown ups are so difficult. Managing the intricacies of relationships, becoming ‘responsible’, having to behave one self, balancing between opposing forces, showing your good side to folks all the time, having to think before you talk, worry about where the next meal is going to come from, uff! I tell you R, your life is really enviable.
When we grow older, we seem to forget the real perspectives in life. As a child, you just want to live. Live to feel emotions. Happiness, sadness, enjoyment, enthusiasm, fun. I wonder why we forget all that when we grow older. WE seem to bother about the silliest of things. Worry about the stupidest of problems and then think about so much of unspoken stuff.
Your life is just black and white. You know, Amma scolds, Amma not good, Appa hugs, Appa good. After two mintues, its Amma cuddles, Amma good, Appa makes me have a bath, Appa not good. Thats it. No shades of grey. Grey, I tell you darling, is a very deceptive colour. It is not what is looks like. Calm, serene, soft. Nope. Most grown ups have shades of grey in them. And its this greyness which makes them so unpredictable. They look like they are the lovliest of people, but unfortunately come up with the most hurtful comments. As you grow older, the blacks and whites merge to greys, and that my darling, is something, which is not as great as it seems to be.
Or look at the way you told me the other day, that you dont like a particular person in your class. Why R? I ask you in astonishment. Well, I dont like her, Amma, and she doesnt like me either. So we dont talk to each other. We just smile when we have to.
Personally I think its an awesome way to live your life. Talk to folks you are comfortable talking to. Or else just smile and let it be. The fakeness of a relationship, the pseudo caring nature, the Oh dont worry I am here for you but actually you are a bitch attitude is not there. I like you, I talk to you, I dont like you, I dont talk to you. Thats the kind of nature which is good. But grown ups just spoil it all darling.
I hope you continue to be a kid as long as you can, because trust me, kid, life is much better as a kid than as a grown up.
Your Grown up Amma