R has gotten into this really bad habit of crying and throwing a tantrum incase she loses a game. Lets say a snakes and ladders or a game of ludo. She HAS to win. While occasionally I used to let her win, I usually play a fair game with her. Its after all a game of chance and she needs to know that the process of playing is so much more fun than the actual winning.
Yesterday she and my dad were playing a game of snakes and ladders with Amma moderating the game. She was almost winning but in the end, lost the game. and then she cried and cried and cried…RD lost his temper, Amma Appa were flummoxed at the behaviour and she threw a major tantrum. I kept telling her that she laughed and enjoyed so much while playing the game and so why this crying now..its fine, participation is important. She said no winning is important. No I said, its not. Its the fun you have during participation which is more important than anything else.
Appa tried explaining to her about the game of chance and stuff. But she just wouldn’t stop. Finally Amma just gave her a cup of hot bournvita and then she calmed down a bit!
In the night before she went to sleep Appa told her this story. This is the gist of the story, which Amma told me today morning that Appa had told her. Obviously he would have added a lot of masala to it.
So there was this little boy who always wanted to win. He asks God for a boon and after that he is always winning always winning. Any game he plays, 1,2,3….40,50. All games he keeps winning.
Then he slowly realises that people are not playing with him at all. They all play with each other, but whenever he comes to play, no one wants to play with him. What is the point they say, you are always winning. Its no fun playing with you!
And the little boy loses his friends and everyone around him. He realises he doesnt like winning anymore. So he goes back to God and asks him to take away the boon. Why, God asks him. Because I want to enjoy playing, not keep winning all the time. And God agrees to him.
I hope this story makes R realise that winning is not at all important in life. Having fun during the game is so much more important.