I usually dont believe in advocating any kind of parenting advice to anyone because I firmly believe to each his/her own. My way of parenting is different from what my mother’s was and so on and so forth. Nor do I believe in writing about someone’s piece unless its something really hurting me!
But I must admit I was pretty upset when I read what you wrote about outsourced parenting on your blog.
I think your child is EXTREMELY lucky to have you around all the time. Unfortunately there are parents like me, who dont have a job which allows work from home and which means we are out of the house full time and who arent lucky enough to be ‘around’ their kids all the time.
My kid goes to a daycare and school and is away from me and the husband about 10 hours a day. If I read your post, what you are trying to say is that my kid will eventually have no connection with me. We will have to ‘pretend’ to have a strong bond but in reality our relationship will be on tenterhooks.
and then of course there will be no way I can fix this because the damage has already been done since the child is already 5 years. and thirdly, my child is growing to grow up with zero self confidence and no ability to think independently!
and of course in my old age when I need her, she will say ‘you left me at daycare and I will leave you in an old age home’ is it?
and of course, I have missed out on the bestest things in life, like watching my child grow?
God, unfortunately, has given me a dull brain to ponder about what you have just said.
Do you really think that every child which goes to the daycare has such issues?
Gee! thats scary!
and you really believe that parents like ‘outsourcing’ their parenting?
Whats wrong in handing over the kid to a person who loves kids and volunteers to take care of such a kid? Are you telling me you take care of your kid ALL THE TIME?
Whats wrong in sending a child to a playgroup if you have to go to work? Its better than leaving them at home alone eh?
Whats wrong in looking for someone who is willing to attend to a child so that you can ‘breath’. As long as that person is nice and reliable, I think its a win win situation, that someone is happy and the child is happy to play eh?
Whats wrong in recruiting a baby sitter? What if both the parents work?? The better option is the hire a reliable baby sitter isnt it?
What if I dont want to impose my parents or inlaws with taking care of my baby?
I must admit I am a bit flummoxed with your arguments. Yes I agree, making a kid sit in front of the TV all day long is not an option at all, but the others?? You call it outsourcing, I call it ‘smart parenting’ or ‘living an individual’s life’
Once you become a parent doesnt mean you live only for your child. Yes, the child is an integral part of your identity, but dont give up stuff in life because you have a child. There is nothing wrong in asking people (reliable and nice) around you to contribute to their upbringing.
I find it very absurd that you think that an ‘outsourced’ kid lacks confidence. I thought it was the other way round honestly.
I would love you to meet up with my brat and perhaps check how many of your arguments are really true.
The brat and I share the most amazing bond till date. and the brat is one of the most independent kid I have met (sometimes a bit too much!) and I dont think I have missed anything great despite getting back to work in 3 months after delivery. For me, even if I missed her first walk, the moment she walked for me, I consider it her first, yaada yaada.
and oh! I dont think I would prefer being around with her when she is old enough and I am older enough. We both can lead our independent lives eh?
This piece is not to provoke you or tell you that you are wrong and we are right or anything. This piece is just to let you know that sometimes parents like us have no choice but to ‘outsource‘. I do hope you understand.
and again, your kiddo is really really lucky to have you around ‘all the time’
Cross Posted here