FIVE

Dear R,

Gosh! you turned five…and I still cant believe it. For someone who had been  desperately waiting for her brat to turn 5, I dont think it has sunk into my mommy  brain yet.

When you were an infant, I used to tell all and sundry that I couldnt wait for you to  grow up and have your own opinion and clean your own bum (hey thats an important lesson in life okay) and wear your own clothes and eat your own food…but now..well, I grudgingly admit, you are doing all that especially the opinion thingie! and I am not liking it gah!

Darling, human beings have really funny emotions..when they realise they are going to lose something, they cling to it more and more..in my case, I am realising that I am losing you to yourself..where you have your thoughts, your ideas, your understanding and its pinching me somewhere…While your Appa feels I give you too much independence, honestly I am glad I am learning the act of letting go bit by bit…

The ultimate came last week when Appa asked you if you would go and stay in Goa with Baroda thatha thathi and Calcutta thathi..you agreed in a heart beat…I must admit, my heart sunk a bit..I tried talking to you about how Amma Appa wont be coming along..

Chalega, thathi hai na you told me nonchalantly..and thats when I realised, now I HAVE to treat you like an individual..you cease to be my extension, but are your own person.

Funny, thats what I wanted you to be right from the start..and so why is the independence making me all nostalgic 🙂

You are a good girl R.

I doubt you will remember this, but when we went to that play in NPCA a few weeks ago, you got a paper puppet in cat form which could be inserted into your finger. You kept it safe all through the play, and afterwards when we went to the wash room, there was a girl, pretty much your age, who looked at the puppet in your finger and said ‘I want that mama’

Her mama said ‘well we came late and you missed getting it’

She said ‘but I want it mama’

and you looked at her, looked at me, and looked at her mama, and just took it off your finger and asked ‘you want?’ you take. Mereko nahi wanting’

I must admit all three of us were shocked with the ease you gave it away. Her mama asked you ‘you sure’ and you answered ‘yes I sure’ and hugged the girl and went into the bathroom.

I was just rendered speechless, because this comes from a girl who goes ‘mera hai, mera hai’

I just hope that in life you realise that the more you share, the more you get. okay darling?

And currently

1.You talk pretty fluently on the phone though your favorite dialogue is okay bye..

2. I was surprised to hear you say ‘arey yaar’ the other day..thats something you got from me eh?

3. You know how to push the right buttons and get things done, though your crying for everything just gets on to our nerves at times…well just saying eh?

4. you still refuse to read on your own and I dont think I am ever going to get you to do that 🙂

5. Your language is still a mixture of Hindi, Gujarati, Marathi, English,
Tamizh..though you prefer Hindi over anything. You seem to think in Hindi and translate later..its funny at times to see you struggle for the right word in English and then give up and mix the present continous tense with a Hindi/Gujju word

6. Your demand for a chotu baby is ever increasing
The other day, Appa asked you on the phone, what do you want for your birthday?

you answered promptly ‘Mereko Gems venum’

Thats it? asked an astonished Appa

Yes yes, mereko gems leke aao Goa, theek hai? okay bye

Darling, hope your life is full of Gems and with tons of hugs and surrounded by love.
Now for the usual yearly instructions given in your every birthday letter

1. Be good to others
2. Be polite to people and treat everyone with equal respect
3. I want you to be happy in your own way, do what you wish to do as long as it doesnt affect other people in a wrong way.
4. Save water, electricity and take care of the environment
5. Believe in equality, thats more important than asking for special favors

6. Believe in yourself, because only you know what you are capable of
7. Try and try again, and never be afraid to fail, becuase the more you fail, the higher you will go in life
8. Life will throw a lot of challenges, its always okay to let go of few of them, we are not superhumans 🙂
9. Take care of your fitness, you dont need to have a size zero figure (you will never have it thanks to the fat genes of amma appa) but keep yourself fit enough to catch a running local train (safely safely)
10. Be content in life, if you achieve that, everything else will follow
automatically

and Remember, Amma is always there for you okay?

love
Amma

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About R's Mom

Not-so-new-mom
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80 Responses to FIVE

  1. chaitali says:

    Happy Birthday to R… God Bless her…

  2. deepM says:

    Please pass my birthday Wishes to R! Happy Birthday little girl!

    I must say RM, she is lucky girl because she is got world’s best mom

    I loved your letter especially her favorite dialogue okey bye.. 🙂

  3. Archana says:

    So many things to say!!
    1. The fact that she took off the puppet – woah!! How many kids do that?? I hope my son does it too.
    2. Gems on birthday – Kids sometimes want the simplest of things right?! I hope her life is full of gems and happiness and hugs too!

    Funny how we once wanted want our kids to be independent, so much so that we tried to be extra-detached, and when they show signs of being independent, its not as pleasant as thought it would be.Parenthood sure is funny!

    I love these birthday posts of yours R – full-on pleasure read.

  4. Awwww, such a sweet letter, RM. Touched me. 🙂

    LOL @ fat genes and fit enough to catch a local train. That’s a must in today’s times, eh?

    That puppet incident was so cute. So generous of R!

    Happy birthday to R Kutty. Here’s to many more such happy ones! 🙂

  5. Jay says:

    Happy Birthday to darling R!

  6. uma says:

    awww..such a cute post! Happy Birthday to dear R. Loads of love and hugs to you, dear!
    And, she’s such a nice girl..am impressed at how she gave away the puppet so magnanimously. Loved the letter too, RM!

  7. VJ says:

    Dear R,
    Wishing you a very happy shappy birthday !
    I am not going to believe all that your amma says !!
    but at the same time, I have another 5 year old at home and so I know.
    U r a good girl and we all know that long ago.. Amma has realised and accepted it only today.
    just be the way you are.. dont change (except maybe for the crying for everything bit !).
    Wish I could send loads and loads of gems for you !!
    but for the moment, it will just be my hearfelt love !
    lots of love and hugs and kisses !

    • R's Mom says:

      Dear VJ Aunty

      Thanks so so much for the lovely letter…Amma and I had a talk about the crying bit..its still work in progress 🙂
      will keep you posted and will ask for gems if we meet

      love
      R

  8. chattywren says:

    Wishing a very Happy Birthday to R! And lots of good wishes her way! Such a generous kid too. lol on the gems bit, so cute.

  9. Such an adorable little girl, the ease with which she gave away her paper puppet. Wishing a very happy birthday R!! May God bless you lots of gems and happiness always 🙂

  10. Comfy says:

    My dear little R,
    You bring a smile on so many of our faces almost daily with your antiques and via your Amma’s words. All of us around the world know your language skills without ever having met you. We go aww at the things you do, defend you when Amma thinks you did something wrong, and sometimes instruct you to be a good girl but the common thread that always stays is the love you have from all of us just because of the person you are.
    You are growing up and along with your Amma, we also get pangs thinking about a grown up R leaving her little things behind, so here are instructions from Comfy Aunty..
    ..always keep your ‘Merko nahein wanting’ attitude. You will win more than you ever know by giving the way you did.
    ..Your language is your own. Don’t change it. It makes you uniquely you
    ..Run, play, make friends, smile, laugh, be happy, be healthy.
    ..As for gems, asking for little things will give you bigger happiness in return
    Have a wonderful 5th year sweetheart and I will write another lamba post when you turn 6. Muah!

    • R's Mom says:

      Sigh! comfy…I loved loved loved this comment…I hope R realises how lucky she is to have such wonderful people like you to teach her 🙂 big hugs *wipes away a tear*

  11. Swaram says:

    Awwww such a cute post 🙂 Happy birthday to all of u! Btw, I was in Goa at the start of this week and u were on my mind 🙂

  12. I have a lump in my throat after reading this letter dont know why.And the last line ,I guess is the best…

    (even at this age when I should be having my own kid..my mum says this ‘mummy nahi kaam aayengi ,to kaun aayega,mein humesha hoon tumhare saath’ and it gives so much relief.Sorry re my emotions just came rushing.)

    Btw I just melted away where R gave away the puppet..she is a darling.It must have been such a proud moment for you.

    Wishing you R a very happy birthday.Baby always stay smiling and charming as you are 🙂

  13. Smita says:

    Happy Birthday to the brightest girl I know!!

    It was heartfelt to read this letter!!! I dunno what to say!

    Just give a big big hug to R!!

    And RM cherish & protect this little priness with your life 🙂

  14. chipmunk says:

    wishes to the lil one 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

  15. Prachi says:

    Happy Birthday to R…!!!
    Your letters to R are awesome RM…she will definitely cherish them…!!!
    On growing up…I have left my 3 year old with his grandparents since 10 days now…and he is absolutely fine,,,It is me who is missing him terribly…!!!
    I guess kids grow up too fast these days….

  16. Smitha says:

    Happy birthday R!!

    RM, she ja such a smart, sensitive child! You should be proud of the way you are bringing her up. Lots of hugs and kisses to the birthday girl!

  17. Hey R! Happy Birthday ! अनेक आशिर्वाद ! જન્મ દિન મુબારક ! सालगिरह की हार्दिक शुभकामनायें ! ಹುಟ್ಟು ಹಬ್ಬದ ಶುಭಾಶಯ ! ജന്മദിനാശംസകള്‍ ! இனிய பிறந்த நாள் நல்வாழ்த்துக்கள் ! And millions of gems !

  18. telugumom says:

    Happy Birthday R!!! Hope you have an amazing year ahead 🙂

  19. Aww little R is all of 5 eh? Happy birthday to the darling.

    Oye all of a sudden you have become a poetess okie? what lines man!! “I am realising that I am losing you to yourself.” I am planning to stealify this one and use it somewhere 😉

  20. rainmusings says:

    Happy birthday R.. Wish you all the happiness and good health 🙂

  21. Deepika says:

    Happy Bday R…
    Hugs and lots of love to the bday gal 🙂

  22. Happy happy birthday dear R! May your life be filled with happiness, happiness and more happiness! 🙂 Big big hugs from SnS Chithi! 😀

  23. Sreetama says:

    Many happy returns of the day to darling R! Happy birthday darling! You are growing up to be a wonderful human being, as your mom had wished in her previous birthday letters! So what has your amma & appa planned for the birthday girl? Loads of love, hugs & kisses! Have a healthy happy year ahead and swim like a mermaid! 🙂

  24. Vidya says:

    Happy 5th R!! RM, you are an awesome, bindaas mom. Surfing the blogs after a looong time and it warmed my heart to read such a wonderful b’day post! Enjoy the day and all the lovely years to come!

  25. Ashwathy says:

    Have I told you how much I love these letters of yours? 🙂 Sigh….

    How I wish I could watch R’s face when she grows up one day and starts reading these posts…

  26. and one day when R grows li’l more bigger enough to read & understand this post, that will be ur day! 🙂

  27. ashreyamom says:

    happy happy b’day dear R.. 🙂

  28. Carvaka says:

    Aw, that’s the sweetest letter ever. Happy Birthday R! Sending lots of cyber-love to her.

    I am amazed to hear of the puppet story. What a lovely little R is! 🙂

  29. Laila says:

    Wish R a very happy birthday!!!!

  30. anisnest says:

    muah to you and R.. she is a lovely girll. I want give her a big bear hug right now.. May I please copy those instructions and show it to Adi too RM.. that’s exactly the values that I want Adi to learn too..
    May God bless the little girl and her family with abundance of happiness all through their life..

  31. Deeps says:

    Happy B’day R! Loads and loads of love hugs and blessings to you, sweetheart! 🙂

  32. garima says:

    mera comment kab approve hoga..refreshing the site again and again..jaldi approve karo ,bhook lag rahi ,lunch pe jana hai *making crying face* 🙂

  33. Kanthu says:

    Belated Happy Birthday to little R. 🙂

  34. Chaitra says:

    Happy birthday R.. Wish you loads of happy happy moments in the years to come..

  35. Ramya says:

    Many Many Wishes to R dear on her birtheday.., belated though (: Wish you loads of wonderful happy moments all through this year and years to come..RM: “You know how to push the right buttons and get things done, though your crying for everything just gets on to our nerves at times”..Its R’s own tactic yaar to get things done ..so, treasure this phase too 🙂

  36. K says:

    My love to R. May she get whatever she wishes and I wish her good health and a lot of happiness.

  37. Belated happy birthday to R, she is a sweetheart for sure 🙂

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