Solutions? – Blogging Marathon Post 11

RD and I have had loads of discussion on the gang rape, solutions, etc etc…

On the way back from dropping Amma to the airport, I was so bugged and irritated, that I told him ‘those bloody guys should be given capital punishment and done away with’

RD asked me ‘andΒ  you think it will solve the problem?’

RM: I dont know really

RD: Well, I dont think its a solution..because murder has capital punishment..has that stopped people from being murdered…What needs to be done to Nirbhaya’s rapists is something I am not sure, but I do think we need to be more practical in our approach towards crime against women

RM: So what are you suggesting

RD: Well, firstly, we must stop victim blaming..we need to sensitize our police force into accepting that women do get raped and we must make them sensitive enough such that women who under go the horrendous experience at least are able to complain without fear of society…this needs to be done at the basic level..we need to teach our police force to be sensitive..if need be have women police in every station…women may find it easier to open out to women…and women police who understand and are sympathetic..who dont look at the victim with degrading eyes..who give courage to the victim to complain….

Secondly, ensure that every rape/attempted rape/eve teasing incident reported goes into a fast track court….within 3 months, the judgement should be out..the police need to be prompt in investigation..while this seems to be a pipe dream, in reality most murderers get away with murder only because they know the case will take 20 years to pass a judgement, then again 10 years for the appeal and then again 10 years for something else…Why? just give them three months to decide..and this should be done for EVERY complain…however small or large it is…

Why do people get away with rape? because they are sure, nothing will happen to them…

You know RM, I dont think rapists enjoy the sexual act as such, they may be under pressure, what they enjoy is showing off their ‘manhood’ the power that comes in their minds..its a mental game for them..show off their strength in front of a weakling…and why do they think they get away with it, because they are confident that most victims wont report…

Its very sad…we need a system, which firstly is sensitive to victims, two, which ensures fast gathering of the facts, and three which passes judgements within three months..

If that happens, most potential rapists, will know that they cant get away with it…they will be scared..

RM: you really think so?

RD:Well, thats what I feel…forget rape RM..look at it this way…today, if an eve teaser is just ignored..he gets confident..he feels, if I can get away with eve teasing, I can get away with groping..then he starts groping…he feels if no one complains against my groping, that means no one will complain if I go a step further..and then he may graduate to rape..

at the end of the day, its all about showing your power…

we need to stop people from eve teasing..if you nip the problem at the bud, its only then we can expect rape levels to come down..

and more importantly, we need to teach our boys, that a girl is equal..not better not worse..just an equal with a different anatomy..but equal..girls dont need special treatment..they just need equal treatment..

We just wandered into other topics after that..

But do you agree…do you think these solutions will bring down rape in India?

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About R's Mom

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30 Responses to Solutions? – Blogging Marathon Post 11

  1. summerscript says:

    I agree RM. The most important thing is as RD says “police force to be sensitive”. If that does not happen everything else is lost I feel.
    Apart from this there is one more thought in my head for quite sometime now. That is “As a person if I see someone in trouble, how do I help him/her? Not just in case of eve teasing.I am talking in general, what stops me from offering help, why should I wait till they come to me and ask for help?”. So it is not just police, every person should be sensitive and sensible.
    Recent events and things I am hearing are very disturbing.
    Recently one of my friend called an ambulance for emergency ,as it did not reach on time she called him again and that idiot on phone said “Madam we are on the way, we see these things everyday,some people make it ,some die, we will come, just wait!” – Is this how an ambulance person responds? I am worried, sad, disturbed!
    Sorry, I guess I went off the topic here.

    • R's Mom says:

      Gosh I dont believe it…the person in the ambulance actually said that!!! thats horrible…no you didnt..at the end of the day, its about our attitude to things na!

  2. Jayashree says:

    With capital punishment, the problem is that the rapist’s suffering ends. The punishment given to a rapist should be something much more long lasting…..he has to suffer the pain that the victim went through. I read somewhere that the best punishment would be to cut off the person’s hands…..so he cannot eat, cannot touch another woman, cannot even scratch himself if he itches…..and that, in a way, makes much more sense than capital punishment.

  3. Amit says:

    Yes. Yes and Yes. No society can be crime free. There will always be fuc*ed up people but India has gone beyond any flights of imagination. We have to start by not staying quiet when a man tries to be smart. Smack him down right then and there.
    Teaching the younger generation equality of genders is another important step. We really have to cut the crap like – mera ladla and ghar ka chirag.

  4. Sumana says:

    I agree to most of them, yes, but what can be done with eve teasing, put them in jail and they will be out in few days and will be back. Teaching boys that girls are equal yes that is the need of the hour. But incase of Nirbhaya’s, i just feel one thing so strong, what is the need for a lawyer, witness etc, when the girl in her painful close to death situation has given written statements and went ahead to write the names of the guys. Also did you hear what the accused guys lawyer has said. It feels they are just making a mockery. The gun issue in the US, Obama has started to take so many steps and the California counties have declared grocery for guns etc. That kind of change is needed instead of dilly dallying all around.

    • R's Mom says:

      RD and I were shocked to read about what the lawyer said 😦 It was pathetic!!

      But at least in case of eve-teasing, I do feel that strong punishment will scare people for being so bindaas about it!

  5. nachu says:

    I don’t know how much a fast track court or capital punishment will help! Read this case, http://news.oneindia.in/2011/11/11/court-pronounces-death-for-soumya-murderer-kerala.html
    Above case, justice was delivered in time, death penalty was also dished out. But did it help? After a year, we find the same thing happening somewhere else.

    So what gives these scoundrels so much of confidence? The fact that the incident will be hushed? The surety that women will not complain? or the zero value for life in the country and the lack of proper security?

    See, I just have more questions!

  6. My respect for RD just went up a few notches after reading this post. πŸ™‚ The guy is so sensitive to women and their issues, ya. Please do tell him that, will you?

    Coming back to the point of this post, yes, I do think these measures would be a great way to start. I do think they will go a long way towards reducing the incidences of rape in India. Especially the teaching boys that girls are their equals part. I strongly believe in that.

  7. Good post. Been meaning to post about this for a long time. 2 more things I would add are –
    – We should stop attaching ‘shame’ and ‘honour’ with rape. Like how we outrage and report killings and murders and robberies, we should report rape too. There is no shame in being raped. There is only shame in raping others.
    – We should stop treating sex as a taboo topic. Father and daughter should discuss sex. Brother and sister should discuss sex. Friends should discuss it. Only then can a change happen.

    A change is needed in the mindset and attitude. Until these happen, however good the police force is, criminals will only try to dodge them.

  8. Smita says:

    Whether they will bring down rape or not is a million dollar question but yes they are the steps towards the right direction. If we change our mindset itself, half the battle is won.

  9. Swaram says:

    Su and I are discussing these too, and also at work. Totally agree about the sensitizing part.

    Hope u have read this article:

    http://www.indianexpress.com/news/gendersensitivity-project-for-cops-brings-change-in-karnataka/1057168/0

    Also, I think we are definitely a glorious national with awesome history and a pride of place, but we are not showing a way to inculcate these values in daily life. We just talking about how we have had amazing examples in history (which are def. true too) but what is the way to take them off the books and develop them in real life? There’s a huge gap and nobody is even working on filling them!

  10. Sreetama says:

    All the points are good. I totally agree with the point which says that the reason for the increase in crime is due to under reporting of such cases & the rapists think they can get away with it. I don’t think there is any tangible solution to this problem. As long as the conscience grows among the men, things won’t work out. Both the parents must instill the sense and respect for women.

  11. Those are valid suggestions RM. I especially whole heartedly agree with the sensitization part. But I do wonder, how can we sensitize the police in an effective way?
    We also need to sensitize men in general. And women. Women need to be encouraged a lot and given a lot of push to never be hush-hush. This inevitably involves the entire family education as well. Lot of street plays, role plays, simulations, talks, real case examples…. everything possible should be included.
    The idea of a fast track court is brilliant but honestly, with the backlog we have…. I think there are certain issues that can be prioritized and processed faster.
    A man doesn’t rape. I feel a strong sense of disgust that makes me want to throw up as I type this. If someone wishes to display his power and strength, I am sure there are many many avenues where he can positively influence and touch lives.
    Also, I strongly wish that family members of the guilty must not cover up for his or her acts. It’s hard I know but I just cannot think otherwise.
    I feel that a death sentence is not the solution as well. Especially when there are many loopholes. Just imagine, if this girl had not lost her life, I don’t think there would have been protests of this magnitude, right? Imagine the number of rapists on the loose.

    I agree with RD in a lot of ways. How to go about it is the big issue. After all, we are one big nation πŸ™‚

    • R's Mom says:

      I agree to what you are saying..but we need to make a start somewhere right..thats what RD is talking about..its a long long long way to go…but we need to start acting now

  12. Ashwathy says:

    Wow!!! U got a super intelligent and sensible hubby there…. I’d say he has hit the nail on the head.

    Implementation of punishment is the toughest problem in India. Victim-blaming makes the rapist/ eve-teaser feel he will have it easy and can get away with it. Which he does. Hence he repeats his act wherever he gets a chance.
    Capital punishment makes it too easy for him. Castration is a more effective solution, don’t u think?

    • R's Mom says:

      LOL on the first line…abhi that I am not sure I will agree πŸ™‚

      I agree..implementation is the toughest problem in India which is why so many people are confident to get away!

  13. Well he says the Truth for sure , hanging these men wont make any bit of difference.. because I am sure you read posts where lady is hasselled and after this one there are a few that have happen in other parts , they just have not got the media behind them ..

    the Rapist is not afraid .. because law is sleeping and moreover PEople who are around are sleeping no one cares what happens in the dark or is happening behind that bush or tree , as long as it is not happening to them ..

    Teaching boys and girls well I am sure in modern day parents do teach that to their kids are you telling me , you or someone else is not teaching them.. it is there the problem is when they are in a group they forget that and as i mentioned earlier the not having fear is the biggest problem.

    People have short term memory, as the guwahati high profile news did, no one remembers that episode anymore ..

    here is a example it took hundreds of years , of non stop fight t omake the british GO AWAY .. same way it is a long fight and it needs to be fought EACH day every day .. by everyone .. when that happens things will; change for sure ..

    you me , everyone has to take that step, you see anything wrong SPEAK UP.. we ignore and I am srue there are resons to ignore that , I remember I was in Pinjore gardens in chandigarh with all my friends, and each of them is strong enough to beat anyone, Yet no one said anything apart from me and one more , when the police caught a boy and a girl having a lovely dovey moment in the gardens.. there were hundred others Everyone LAUGHING and making remarks at the girl and the BOY.. This is our mentality..

    all I did was went to the officer and asked why has he caught them is it against the law , and he let them go Simple .. but had i not said anything he would have taken some money or if not corrupt just hasseled the boy and the girl …

    I am probably used to the british way , where someone WILL SPEAK , I have never been in a incident where I have stopped a few people for anything and someone NOT stopped on the road or a passerby who has NOT asked the question.

    No one does that in india ..

    OH BOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY this is a post .. sorry sorr y

    • R's Mom says:

      way it is a long fight and it needs to be fought EACH day every day .. by everyone – Thats so so true Bikram

      and you are a brave guy πŸ™‚ see…you didnt do anything different as per you..but an Indian like me, feels you were brave..and thats what we hope everyone does !

  14. Good suggestion by RD, any little step towards a cause is a big step. I think its high time we do something against all these incidents happened.

  15. I agree that we shud start voicing out every single grope and brush. And ensuring rapists are brought to court within 3months.but the cynic in me doesnt believe that it will resolve the issue in anyway πŸ˜₯

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