Disclaimer: Depressing post ahead, please dont read if you are in a good mood!
Thankfully, the world did not end on the D day…but a tiny part of my heart, I think, broke for ever 😦
I had a miscarriage.
Last to last Saturday I discovered I was pregnant. Overjoyed, we went to the doctor. She gave the usual list of instructions..
avoid travel by rick
yaada, yaada…and with R my pregnancy was such a breeze, that I was really not too worried about anything. The only thing we did was cancel our tickets to Gurgaon..a trip planned about 3 months before…
I dropped R to school and went to work. At about 3.30 PM when I went to the loo, I noticed I was bleeding profusely…I got shocked…managed to compose myself, run to my desk, get the pad and the phone…called up RD…
He told me to talk to the doctor while assuring me that he would come to pick me up…the doctor told me to stop crying, get into a cab and come home..
For the first time, I was at a total loss…Here I was bleeding, and here I was trying to coordinate to get a cab…The number wont go through, I didnt know whom to ask for help..finally at about 4 I managed to get a cab…
I left work without telling anyone..the guys in my team were so worried, but I didnt know what to tell them..
I reached the hospital..RD was already there…We went in…the doctor wasnt there, but the nurse gave me an injection..she checked me up and mentioned that the bleeding had stopped..
The doctor came and she told me to get a sonography done..
We went to the centre…The doctor there, checked me and said its very early pregnancy..the fetus is still there, but no heart activity is usually detected till six weeks, so you will need to come back next week to check if the fetus was healthy and okay..
RD had gone to pick up R because it was getting late..as soon as I told him that, he heaved a sigh of relief..
We went back to my doctor, she told me all was well and asked me to go on complete bed rest for 10 days…I was shocked…liked I said earlier, my earlier pregnancy was such a breeze…
She agreed for me to work from home…
Amma wanted to come, but we persuaded her that I will be fine..
I spent Tue, Wed and Thurs on bed..working from home now and then
On Friday, early morning, while RD was getting R ready for school, I noticed I was bleeding profusely..
I panicked a bit, but realised that nothing could be done, and made RD take R to her bus stop…He rushed back after putting her on the bus..I went to the hospital…the doctor asked the nurse the extent of my bleeding…I was profusely bleeding and there was a miscarriage underway..
I spoke to the doctor on the phone who was getting ready for her son’s annual day..She asked me over the phone if I thought I want to take the risk of continuing, because as per her nurse, the bleeding was extensive…it was a split second decision, but I agreed, if it was a risk, I would want to terminate it…
She spoke to RD…he agreed..
I was given injections..the doctor came..she was shocked to see the extent of bleeding and said there was no chance anyways..
I got operated…
Amma flew down from Goa…She was there by 6 in the evening..my neighbour aunty rushed to the hospital as soon as RD called her…
My brother came from Ahm to meet up with me as soon as he heard the news..
I am fine now…actually the fetus didnt even have a heart beat…technically for most people this would just be delayed periods..its just that I got to know that I was pregnant..so its hurting me a bit..
But, I have decided, I am not going to get too upset about it..its not right..It had to happen…I can think of a million reasons on what went wrong and get upset about it..or I can just move on..I think, I choose to move on..
Like RD said ‘It was a week’s wonder’
yes, it was…definitely a wonder and just for a week…but both of us have decided to take things positively now..Thankfully R was not aware of what happened.
Apologies for ending the year with such a depressing post, but somehow blogging about it has made me stronger, made me feel better…
Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas..
As usual, I have over 100 unread posts…will try and start getting back to routine fast…