….which, obviously, as per RD is death. He says only birth and death are the constants of a person’s life. The rest is all dependent on circumstances.
Yaa, the guy can talk philosophy at times eh?
My bhabhi’s grand father expired some days ago. He was really old, suffering from a lot of ailments and in short, personally, it was good that he moved on because that put an end to his suffering.
My Amma and I were just talking about it when Amma started talking about how its difficult being dependent on someone for everything if you get bed ridden. and the talk moved to the expenses after someone’s death.
Amma tells me its very expensive to do the ceremonies after one dies. there is a 13 day period of mourning where you have to do pooja almost everyday..including giving a lot of stuff to the pandits, the community, etc etc. I dont know too much of the details, and I dont want to know honestly.
As far as I am concerned, I told Amma over the phone, I am going to ask R to just either burn me, or infact if my body is in good condition, just donate it to some hospital for further use to medical students.
I am very clear that I dont want her to do ANYTHING after that. No kriya karam, or whatever thats called, I dont expect her to feed brahmins or try and do a shraad or anything. Not even the 13 day mourning or giving away gifts to anyone or anything. Just ensure I am dead, (well its always good to cross check once eh?) then call up the ambulance, take me to cremation/hospital and stuff and thats it, get on with her life.
Okie, may be my clothes and stuff she can donate somewhere or take whatever she wants if our fashion sense match…
All this assuming I die at old age, which I hope to do.
Well, this post is not about death, its just about the rituals (again!) surrounding death. Yes, so a person whom we love dearer than life has died. Now after that person is gone, whats the point of spending money on rituals which just make the whole thing more painful. Again, this is just my personal, very very personal opinion. No one needs to agree to this, not even my parents, or R or RD.
One of the arguments that comes to my mind is, the rituals were made so that there are people surrounding the person who had lost a dear one and within 13 days, they would reconcile to the loss of their dear one. May be, I dont disagree to that one.
But, to spend money when to you cant afford it, or just because everyone else does it, is something I dont agree it.
Yes, if someone wants to do it, and has the means to do the rituals, thats totally fine. But just to do the rituals because the society EXPECTS it, is something I dont agree to.
Why burden an already depressed soul? First you lose your loved one, then you lose your sleep over wondering how to get the finance to do the rituals? Does it make sense at all?
On the other hand, the money spent can be given to charity, feed orphans, buy books for the needy? isnt that a better way to spend the money, in case you have it, you could do that perhaps? and then even the departed soul will be happy ?
After Maya aunty and Patel uncle died, every year, my parents gave money to the local Sai Baba temple which aunty used to frequent where they feed the poor on Thursday. Every year they do that. May be thats the better way to remember your loved ones.
I am not sure, how much, I have hurt sentiments by this post, but just to let you know its my personal opinion. I may be wrong, but in my case I am clear what I want after I die.
Chalo, at least in one thing, I am clear what I want eh?