We are having dinner, just generally chatting about something and R says Amma mereko kal se office jana hai
RM: Baby, you first finish school
R: Then I going office
RM: yes beta
R: Acha aapke office mein ‘m’ learn kar diya
RM: yes beta, I know how to write ‘m’
After 2 minutes
R: Amma, main badi hoke go karungi office
RM: What do you want to do in office
R: Main toh Barbie girl banungi
I almost fall off my chair with a thud…its like your worst nightmare coming true..and this is from a child who doesnt have a SINGLE barbie nor do I buy any barbie themed stuff for her…
RM: in a strained voice: Barbie girl??she doesnt do anything..why do you want to barbie girl
R: arey amma mein toh big hoke barbie girl banungi, and barbie girl office mein jaoungi and barbie girl dance karungi
and there goes my dreams of having a chef daughter *walks away sweeping away the pieces of her broken heart with a broom*
Its getting really really late in the morning and I shove in a couple of sanitary napkins in my bag…unfortunately the eagle eyed brat notices me trying to shove them in..and she goes
R: Amma, yeh kya hai
RM: errr.errr…errrr…..yeh mera diaper hai
R: hehehehehe! aapko diaper kyun wanting hai? Aapke office mein toilet nahi hai kya?
I have a severe shoulder ache and I ask RD to press my shoulders…
He, is too busy looking into his phone and randomly takes his hand and puts it on my shoulder and squeezes so hard that I yelp in pain…
RM: WHAT are you doing?
R: yes Appa, What are you doing?
RD: arey, I am massaging your shoulders..
RM: Jane de, I dont want you to do it…
RD then of course keeps aside the love of his life and starts properly trying to massage them..when R says
Appa, main karti hoon..
I wait in anticipation of the soft hands to come and press my shoulders when the lazy girl just comes brushes her fingers against my shoulders as if painting them and says ‘acha abhi better hai na’
Something happened and I scold R for doing something…
She pretends to cry and says ‘Jao, abhi main aapse baat nahi karungi aur aapka naam bol dungi’
(I am not talking to you and I will tell your name)
RM: Kisko? (to whom)
R: Aapke teacher ko office mein aur woh aapko bahut scold karenge (to your teacher in office and he will scold you a lot)
Yesterday we were having misal for dinner…I asked R if she wanted to eat…
R: No I want dahi
RM: only Dahi?
R: yes only dahi..and wait, also talipuni
at this point, RD burst out laughing…
RM: What is talipuni?
R: arey talipuni…
RD is continuing to laugh away
and I thinking what on earth is talipuni..and RD finally couldnt resist..
RD: arey RM she means puli tani (ilmi water in Tamizh)
I am washing the patrams at night while RD is racing with me to hang the clothes..well he wasnt really racing, but with the speed he was doing it, it was as if he wanted to finish his hanging before I finish my washing..
anyways, the brat is standing next to me telling me about someone’s dad in her daycare…
R: arey amma, woh to ekdum big hai..appa se bhi tall hai
RM: oh is it, wow!
R:Aur woh ekdum big big hai…aapko pata hai woh aapke jaise THIRDY years ke hain..maine bola unko, meri amma bhi THIRDY years ki ho gayi hai! (He is very big, he is also 30 years like you, I told him, that even my mother is 30 years old!)
There people, no chances of hiding my age from anyone…I have an free announcement service attached to me permanently!!