Did I Really Stand Up?

Womensweb has this wonderful blogathon, ‘I Stood up’ running till July 25th 🙂

go on and write for it eh?

I was wondering when I read the title, could I really write about it…I mean, when had I actually ‘stood up’?

I thought a lot…

Was it

– When I went to the principal’s office in my class 5 to defend my brother against the bus conductor who was falsely accusing my elder brother of doing mischief when everyone around knew that my brother was the most ideal child and the conductor was trying to put himself out of trouble and play the blame game and selected my brother as his target

– or was it when I went and slapped a guy in my class 4 because he said something against my parents. I jumped a bench, pinned him down and slapped him saying ‘Fight with me, dont involve my parents EVER’

– or was it when in college, I refused to accept help from the assistant at the ‘filing’ workshop just because I was a girl and actually made a decent work piece without help?
Just because all the other girls in the class pretended that it was too tough, how could the assistant assume that I needed help as well…after all, Appa had ensured that I did the same amount of physical work as the brother..

– or was it, when I defended an old lady from a really rude aunty in the local train, who was trying to blame just that one lady for the entire crowd in the compartment, which was stupid!

– or was it, when I glared at the man who during the break of a Garba session, tried to touch my breasts when I was in my 2nd year college. My glare was enough to make him stop

– or was it, when I abruptly left the side of an elderly relative when he tried to touch my breasts while I was trying to escort him back to a car after a family wedding..

– or may be when, on a bus in Calcutta, from work to home, at about 8 in the night, a guy with sunglasses and a scarf around his neck, kept touching a pregnant me, who was standing because the bus was over crowded, and I tried moving twice, but he was persistent, I turned around and screamed at him in Hindi ‘Aapka problem kya hai, haath theek se rakhiye’ (What is your problem, keep your hand properly) and the conductor made him get off at the next stop…I spent my time rest of the way wondering that even visibly pregnant woman are not spared 😦

– or was it when I was coming back from Ahm and noticed a very old man sitting strategically so that his clean shaven private parts were visible just to where a couple of girls along with me were sitting, and I told the old man ‘uncle barobar beso badhu dekhai che’ (uncle sit properly, everything is being seen), and he left the place immediately? (I think the old man was a pervert, because I have seen him in the same train 3 times when I travelled  between ahm and Baroda, once with my cousin, once by myself and once with my junior of dance class, he would come and sit right in front of where young girls (usually college girls who did up-down from Vidyanagar etc) would sit and show all his private parts, which was horrible!!)

– or was it when I politely refused help to carry R and her bag, by a man in the bus I was not comfortable just looking at…

– or was it when I told a couple of girls in the BEST bus, struggling to fight for space, that the guy standing behind them was not a very good man and he has his hands all over the place…

I really dont know when I stood up or did I stand up at all..

All, I know that some incidents made me feel, I did the right thing, some incidents left a bad taste in my mouth and some incidents I still think I could have handled it better.

Whether its for ourselves, or its for our family or its for any person on the street, whats important is realising that ‘we have to stand up’ We need to speak out for sure…

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About R's Mom

Not-so-new-mom
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60 Responses to Did I Really Stand Up?

  1. summerscript says:

    I am standing now clapping hands!!! 🙂 I love you RM!!
    How come these perverts find new new ways to irritate others!! Shabbaaa!!

  2. Wow. You have stood up, R’s Mom. You HAVE. No doubt about it.
    I was wondering if I have ever stood up for myself and my rights in my life… Your post brought many such incidents to mind.

  3. Amit says:

    I think you can enter almost all the incidents in the blogathon.
    Its a miracle that women have not taken to streets with machine guns in thier hands after going through all this.
    And I have started believing that a lot of old men are perverts of the worst kind. Being a guy, I have gone through the humiliation of an old man trying to touch me at the wrong place in a bus. I was so stunned that I had no idea what to do. I just moved ahead. I should write about this sometime..

    • R's Mom says:

      you know Amit, its weird, because I thought I didnt face too much problems in life..1. I barely went out of house too much 2. Baroda is an extremely safe place for girls at least till I was there.

      But, now when I sat down to write it, I thought of so many horrid incidents, and wondered how the women who face it day in and day out especially in Delhi bear it…They are really great

      Old men are really weird…my brother got his bum pinched very badly in Calcutta when four of us cousins aged between 10 to 14 were travelling by bus 😦

  4. sandhya says:

    Standing up to applaud you, R’s Mom!

  5. Sujatha says:

    awwww RM !! Im so proud of you… Indeed u have stood up in all these incidents 🙂

  6. The Bride says:

    Wow looks like you stood up a lot! Did you once describe yourself as docile or timid?

    I tried to remember when I stood up and can’t 😦

  7. kashlife says:

    RM, – You really stood up in all those incidents. Whenever we feel that something is not right we have a choice either to act or not. Inaction breads guilty and fear in us whereas our action even it is small or whatever will definitely bring some kind of positive changes and also confidence in us.

  8. garima says:

    Applause RM! The above situations really needs courage to stand up for the right and oppose the wrong…so good to know that you stood not only for yourself but others too.

    • R's Mom says:

      Thanks Garima…I just wish I can always continue to do that..or even better, I wish I live to see a world when I NEVER have to worry about doing that!

  9. Ramya says:

    Only thing I felt reading today’s post of yours is, why are women ALWAYS treated differently? Just because they have breasts… feel like just kicking everything out of such people… Who will they leave finally if ll aged ppl are doing this 😦

  10. greenboochi says:

    You definitely have stood up, RM. You did the right thing.

  11. this one’s a killer R’s MOM- I can relate to so many of them and you have worded it just right and tell you want – You have stood up where needed and you do have the guts to stand up and be heard; ROCK ON !

  12. Visha says:

    You are admirable RM…you have definitely stood up in each and every aspect. Hats off to you lady, you sure are inspiring 🙂

  13. uma says:

    You have stood up for yourself and for others bravely at not one but so many occasions, in a courageous and upright manner. You deserve a big pat on your back. Congrats, RM!
    Proud of you. 🙂
    Wish you luck for the contest

  14. Ashwathy says:

    And this is where, after the en-numerous scoldings I give you for every post, I now give you a standing ovation!!! This is why I love you!!! 🙂 Huggsssssssssss!

  15. Nithvin says:

    One brave lady you are RM..You have really stood up in all those instances..Same pinch and all the best.. I’ve also written an entry for the contest 🙂

  16. My Era says:

    You are a strong girl RM…kudos to you for speaking up and reacting at the right time, it makes a lot of difference in many lives (of both who were involved and also of the people doing the wrong).
    Am definitely proud to know someone like you 🙂

  17. Smita says:

    I appreciate your courage & spirit to stand up. You know half the time we do not stand up for what is right because we are scared. Glad to know that you are not one of those women.
    But yes in a country like India where you can trust others to stand up for you it is indeed sometimes scary taking a panga but if we keep thinking that ppl will get away with anything. Perverts are there in every society it is how we fight against them is the key 🙂

    • R's Mom says:

      You know half the time we do not stand up for what is right because we are scared – I am one of those women Smita, I get so scared most times 😦

  18. ashreyamom says:

    u definitely did the right thing RM.. all the best.. it is just not a contest but an eye opener too..

  19. Can we please all stand up and give RM a standing ovation…

    What you did is much more than can be expected from a average person, I probably would not have done it myself.

    Thank you for being you.. god bless..

  20. Contest or no contest you are my hero always.. well done…

    I am happy and proud to know you.

  21. chipmunk2890 says:

    congrats ! for the greatest move! u have the courage to speak up than:) u did good job but u must have pin with you so can pinch them hard and must shout wat ever comes up your mind …u did the best u can girl

  22. Wow, RM, I applaud you for standing up so many times!!
    The bit about the old flasher really made my skin crawl..

  23. Arch says:

    yes yes you did stand up!!! So good of you. A big hug and a pat on your back, RM!

  24. Scribby says:

    you know RM when I saw that blogathon email I felt like participating but then I kept wondering and I’m wondering even now whether which incident really falls in this category….must be so many that happened to me or in front of me…but did I like literally stood for self or others? I guess no…may be I was coward? or may be the scene I was present at didn’t last for long enough to me to react ? or may be I come from a wonderland where things like these don’t happen? I don’t know!

    I’m still thinking and might just give up on the idea of participating !

    But you are one brave women we need everywhere…in everyone of us!

  25. Sumana says:

    Each time we stand up we get stronger. Good post RM.

  26. artnavy says:

    Wow. Hats off !! I think you did well.

  27. Excellent- No other words for it..I will make J read this blog in few years.

  28. Tanishka says:

    You really are a super woman RM… Super proud to know you… 🙂

  29. Mayborngemini says:

    Awesome awesome.keep it up.RM

  30. techie2mom says:

    You are really brave, and really stood up on all the occasions…Salutes…

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