Of Luck

So this uncle of mine…he thinks my brother is the only one among of the various kids he knows whom luck has eluded…and said the same to my Amma.

My Amma, well she didnt say anything…

but my brother

1. He has a job..a decent one
2. He works with his friends..no like actual friends
3. He is married and seems pretty much happy in it
4. He has a house in  his name…lovely flat in Ahm in a pretty good locality where stuff is available at stone’s throw distance…he needs milk, hop,skip, jump and viola its there..errr…my bhabhi doesnt even miss Kerala..she has a Kerala store at walking distance..
5. He has a car
6. Both he and bhabhi have their own vehicles
7. He car pools for his work – a half an hour drive on the highway (earlier it used to be 10 minutes)
8. He leaves at 9 and comes home by 7ish
9. He gets up at 7 in the morning
10. He can afford to go out during the weekends and buy stuff which he wants without thinking too much about the finances etc etc
11. He has lovely neighbours who feed him and keep stuff for him and bhabhi if they both are late from work or something and dont close their front door till they hear RMB or bhabhi opening their house door
12. He has a maid with whom he can leave his housekeys and she comes and does the work and extra work and keeps everything spic and span and she even cooks for them if need be..absolutely home made Gujju food!!!!
13. He is pretty contended in life and the only things that seem to agitate  him are train timings and flight fares 🙂
14. He loves his work, his life and his city
15. He can make time out to pursue a hobby (that he is a lazy guy is something we are not dwelling on!)
15: For his just born son, there are great schools nearby, he will get to spend quality time with him because he can come back from work on time, etc etc
But my uncle, he feels RMB is very unlucky because

1. He has never been abroad
2. He is not having his bath in money
3. He works for a firm which is pretty small with no global connections (except US!)

Errr…now when I read this as I write, I am pretty sure I think he is like the LUCKIEST GUY ON EARTH BOSS!!!

 I mean what the hell is unlucky in his life..can he really WANT anything more??

Look at me in contrast …well just as an example

1. I get up at bloody 4.30 in the morning
2. I travel for 3.5 hours daily to work and back
3. I dont have a cook or neighbours I can really lean back on (well my neighbours are great people though, but no one keeps their doors open as in case of RMB)
4. My maid is anything but a maid *rolls eyes*
5. I dont get to spend more than 4 hours a day with the brat…

and yet I am lucky because I live in Bombay???

Oh Please!

How many of us are really really lucky in life? and again…whats your definition of luck???

=====

On a different note, please read here on why RM thinks that India may after all be shining

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About R's Mom

Not-so-new-mom
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87 Responses to Of Luck

  1. summerscript says:

    Its all in our mind/perspective. You are lucky if you think you are. You are unlucky if you think you are! Depends on which part you are focussing on!!!

    And luck I think -when we don’t have any other reason to associate with someone’s success or failure, we always use the Luck word! Ahh he is lucky to get this, oh so sad, he is just unlucky!

    Actually it’s very confusing RM!

  2. Jas says:

    really, oh please… 🙂

  3. Kanchan says:

    I want to that maid AND those neighbors. I have seen this with some relatives, earlier when I worked with smaller companies, they’d not give me “bhav”. A couple of years ago, when I moved to a bigger MNC, they are all over me at family functions – pushing some about-to-graduate kids’s resume! Can I tell them that the quality of work I did in the smaller companies was much better and satisfying?

    But on a serious note….some of these relatives go to the extent of saying that I am not doing well because-
    1. We don’t travel abroad
    2. I didn’t stick to software (doing marketing now)….so I lost all plum “onsite” opportunities!
    3. I don’t have a car (we have 1 in the family, but thats clearly not enough!)
    4. We have not bought a couple of luxury apartments
    5. I HAVE to work (since they think, we don’t have enuf money!)
    6. We don’t fly much, but prefer to drive down for holidays

    I wish they would pause and think that maybe we chose this lifestyle. I am happy with my company, my work hours, I really don’t drive and have no desire to learn either…

  4. That’s so much more than most people have! I don’t think his life is lacking in any way, judging from your post. Touchwood. 🙂

    People have their own parameters of ‘lucky’ and ‘unlucky’. Maybe your brother doesn’t fall into your uncle’s category of ‘lucky’. Same story with our relatives. Some of them think the OH and I are the luckiest people in the world, while others think we have been quite unlucky. Ultimately, I think what really matters is how contented and happy YOU are with your life, irrespective of what others think.

    • R's Mom says:

      yaa actually I agree when you say people have their parameters of measuring luck..now I know why my Amma didnt say anything…wise lady she is 🙂

  5. Oh RM, your brother is lucky! there are very few who can boast of enjoying and loving the work they do and then being content with what you have is a goal all of us are struggling to achieve..
    I feel bad for your uncle, though, who has a limited idea of luck/success. To each his own. As long as your brother doesn’t think he is unlucky, it really doesn’t matter who else thinks, right?

    • R's Mom says:

      As long as your brother doesn’t think he is unlucky, it really doesn’t matter who else thinks, right?

      Exactly. As usual I am in the over reacting mode I guess 🙂

  6. Shweta says:

    Well Technically we all are Lucky as our elders would say (The one’s like ur Uncle) that its all written in destiny and Luck always plays a role.. its like when people think that something that happened with us is not good/right in their perspective – we had not been lucky…

    I agree there are times when things don’t work out as we want them to.. but in the end its all good if we are ready accept it and move on.. may be harder may be in a different direction..

  7. Chaitali says:

    Everyone has his/her own definition of luck..
    In life you will have ups n downs.. nothing is constant..
    Enjoy during your good time and learn from the bad phases.. that’s my way to look at life..
    I am lucky and happy!!

  8. Hey! I think we are lucky because we have good health (including family),education, good enough life partners to share everything with, parents and siblings who are there when we need them and finally enough money to lead a comfortable life. – These to me in that order will consist of luck.

    And for those who think going Abroad is everything (yeah, I have heard that too-in our own case) – I just listen in this ear and leave it in the other-thats why we have 2 ears na? 😀

  9. 1endofanera says:

    Winning a lottery may be termed lucky but in our day to day lives our choices determine our daily affairs and there is no luck in it.

  10. Aparna says:

    What a weird definition of luck! To me, luck is if you have got what you want out of life – and nothing untoward has happened to spoilt it – that’s all. You certainly don’t need to be bathing in money to be called lucky 🙂

  11. lifesong says:

    Being content and happy in your life is being lucky. So more than the situation, it depends on the person. If you are content you are happy 🙂
    And RMB does seem to be very lucky… having caring people around him, quality time to spend with family after work and he loves his work and city. I don’t see how he can be called unlucky…

  12. journomuseed says:

    I like the passionate sister’s defense of the ‘un’lucky brother…It is unfortunately the clash produced between generations that rate luck/success on different yardsticks. For years, the bank balance defined luck/success/happiness. Today, when we look from a more privileged background, where we weren’t brought up constantly counting our pennies, we rate the success of our lives on different yardsticks..then again Rs mom, the measuring points people set for their own lives are often drastically different from those set to measure others…So then, take heart..We walk to the tune of our own piper..no one else..:)

    • R's Mom says:

      yes yes yes..you are right…everyone has their own measuring yardsticks..I am just over reacting I guess…oh well! whats a post without a bit of over reaction eh 🙂

  13. Smita says:

    Luck happiness is relative!! And in present times there is a word which is missing from max ppls dictionary “contentment” the day the word creeps back ppl around us will be happy.
    Let me tell you my ex. the place where we used to stay previously was owned by my Dad’s ex boss, when he had sold it he had called me and told me about how well his daughters are settled, how well they have invested, how well he himself has invested etc etc. He would then in the same breath tell us how even we shud invest and mind you the investment shud not be less than a crore!!!
    This whole lecture he has repeated to me infinite times & the most latest being yesterday. He had called me to enquire about something after which he started repeating the same bakwas! He had the guts of asking how much I & Hubby earn. I added few lakhs and told him our salaries and he retorts “you guys shud have brought a better property in a better location”. Will you believe me that he is saying this when a- he hasn’t seen the place & b- never lived in Mumbai? I told him, uncle when you will see the place we have bought you will realise we have bought a good place & 2ndly we will buy what we can afford and still be cash starved later. I can say so many things to him I am respecting his age.
    Point of matter is that in India we have millions of Raichands (ppl who are ready to offer free rai – advice) we shud just learn to ignore them.
    And as for as your bro is concerned, I envy him because of the simple factor called Ahmedabad. A place which has everything that Mumbai offers and still life is easy there!!

  14. Sreetama says:

    RMB is definitely a lucky man! And so are you RM! Think about it. If you haven’t had this lifestyle, we wouldn’t have got such lovely posts in your blog. You are an inspiration to many! I don’t consider myself very lucky but am not unhappy with my luck as well! I stay away from my family, my job is not something which I can all my dream job, not married, neither seeing anyone so parents urging me to meet suitors & get married ASAP as am 25+! Have to travel for more than 2 hours daily, have to take care of the household chores etc. etc. But I am happy coz am independent, I do something which I have learnt through years of education, I am confident of myself n I know there’s nothing I cannot do or no where I cannot go alone. I have friends by my side who are ready to support me whenever I need them or even when I don’t! In that case, am definitely lucky!

    • R's Mom says:

      baap rey, I am not inspiration or anything rey…I am just a normal mom trying to write something 🙂

      I am happy coz am independent, I do something which I have learnt through years of education, I am confident of myself n I know there’s nothing I cannot do or no where I cannot go alone. I – you are DEFINITELY lucky by my defintion 🙂

  15. ARP says:

    Hi RM,

    A very thought provoking blog. I believe ‘luck is in the mind’. Any situation we are in we are far more privileged than billions … trillions of people in the world who struggle for a meal a day, clean drinking water, a decent shelter and hygiene.

    And a life without challenges would be so boring. We all have the power within us to create our own luck. What say?

  16. archierocks says:

    When happiness is equated to extravagant materialistic wishes, such mentality occurs. The general Indian mindset, if it is politically correct is to assume that anything from a foreign land is good ( except a boyfriend 😛 ) That said, it is also a mindset that working with a MNC is a better deal than a local company. I will say, we simply need to learn to be proud of our own selves.

    The reach to which this can go is scary. To an extent where people will associate the country, and a small town life as no luck.

    In reality, I think luck is a subjective state which makes life better. It is also a matter of one’s own perspective, right?

    P.S : I am not dating a non-indian guy ( just in case my extended family gets to read this blog!)

    • R's Mom says:

      I agree, it is definitely a matter of perspective and may be I am just over reacting to what my uncle said!

      Err…the PS, I dont think anyone in your extended family would read my blog 🙂 but good you cleared up things 🙂

  17. Smitha says:

    People! They have such small minds. Each person has their own aspirations, and as far as they are satisfied, who is anybody else to judge. Ahd is such a lovely place I would have considered him lucky to be living there!

    • R's Mom says:

      Each person has their own aspirations, and as far as they are satisfied, who is anybody else to judge. – Well, I am not sure whether he was judging, but the way he was thinking about luck made me vent it out here..though Amma is as calm as ever..she didnt even retaliate..me? I would have blasted back immediately..

  18. Ritika says:

    I belong to a typical brahmin family and nothing is lucky here without a complete ritual . My uncle just extended his plan of going abroad on a really important business tour because the horoscope said it was unlucky 😐
    What about all the business he lost ? I mean I really don;t get it sometimes

    And about luck..I only believe in one thing -you get what you give ,nothing more nothing less

  19. I think your bro is one of the luckiest guys I know!. My definition of good luck is the ability to be happy with what you have. All your material possessions and achievements and foreign trips count for nothing if you lack the abilty to find joy in the little things in life. Mean no disrespect, but your uncle can go take a hike!

    • R's Mom says:

      the ability to be happy with what you have – Isnt that the best thing ever…though I doubt we are ever happy with what we have…we always want more eh?

  20. aame says:

    Good health,love,friends,family,peace of mind,independence in thought…and with that a bit of ‘comfortable’ money…one has that one sure is lucky !
    It was actually hilarious to see the uncle’s statements 🙂 And most of us won’t even realize how lucky we are when compare dot millions other who don’t even have the time to think if they are lucky or not.They are busy surviving !

    • R's Mom says:

      most of us won’t even realize how lucky we are when compare dot millions other who don’t even have the time to think if they are lucky or not.They are busy surviving !

      – Thats so so true!!

  21. I think it is because he a MAN 🙂 he he he he OK i could not resist this …

    You remember what advice you gave me a few days back .. yes the same one IGNORE maro ji .. 🙂
    Various people look at things different ways , I would die for what your brother has , even less would be great…

    I have not understood luck myself, we make our own luck the harder we work the better luck is ..

  22. Visha says:

    On a completely unrelated note, I would like to say – Aapnu Amdavad rocks 😀 😀 😀

    Now, on a related note, RMB is Unlucky? Say Boo to the uncle….what he thinks or feels is immaterial when RMB has such a balanced work and family life.

    (actually I am gushing at the Ahd related goody good stuff rather than feeling angry at the uncle)

  23. The Bride says:

    Don’t know about luck, but it sounds like your brother has a good life. Getting to home back and spend lots of time with you child is a luxury for many these days, that’s more important than some big job with a fat paycheck.

    • R's Mom says:

      Getting to home back and spend lots of time with you child is a luxury for many these days, that’s more important than some big job with a fat paycheck.

      Yep..thats so true na!

  24. My Era says:

    Count me in among the people who wouldn’t want to hear anything more once I read that your brother lives in Ahmedabad, for I know how wonderful the place is 😀

    As far your uncle, well trust me he will still judge your brother even if he had ten crore rupees in his account saying why is not fifteen crores ? Gone are the days when going abroad was a BIG thing, so it’s high time people dropped that out of their criteria list, seeing to where India has advanced itself 🙂

    The bottomline is some people have a habit of finding flaws in everyone’s life, give them 100 merits but they will focus on one demerit that they can find and will magnify it to make it sound the pivot of all assessment.

    • R's Mom says:

      Gone are the days when going abroad was a BIG thing – Well, I dont think so ME…even today at least in our community, you have to have your son/daughter abroad, otherwise, its not considered a sign of prosperity!!

      • My Era says:

        Seriously??
        If that is the case, these people should actually visit their extended families living abroad to get the real picture of the lives they lead there. Going there (abroad) for a vacation or onsite for a couple of months is altogether from settling there and living there.

        OK I understand it is going off the topic, but I couldn’t resist the urge to say it, for I know the typical Indian mentality about the abroad stuff.

  25. garima says:

    Why RM why are you writing such thought provoking post.You know my level na 🙂 Please I want Rism…
    Well what others think about us should not affect us beacuse we know how happy/lucky we are.Why to listen to others and get angry,I guess aunty did it right by being quiet

  26. Rahul says:

    Reminds me of the story when a man complained he did not have nice shoes! He looked around to find another man who did not have one leg:)

  27. Ashwathy says:

    Even if I were to actually agree with the first two points of the bizarre (non)logic:
    He works for a firm which is pretty small with no global connections (except US!)
    What is US then?? A state in India? 🙄 😛

  28. DI says:

    Hahah! He is super lucky RM! 🙂 All the things he has, one would kill for them. I am saying ‘one’ and not ‘I’ cos I have some of it, luckily, touchwood! But seriously, one can never take others perspectives in the luck department 😀 You’re lucky, if you are happy. Yes, I mean you too, with your crazy travel, and lack of time, and running around, you too are lucky, because you’re happy, so touchwood for that too!

  29. garima says:

    hehehe ‘home stay’ i liked that word…loads of love to R
    And thank you RM for Rism..have a nice weekend

  30. sramya19 says:

    Such relatives exist everywhere..Just after I completed a year in a job, one of my uncles commented as to why I havent got any opportunity to go abroad when many others who have had their education in mediocre college have flown out of the country few months into the job, while I had done my graduation from one of the premier institutes in India. Looking back, I feel the comment was foolish and more pathetic was my reaction to it..You wouldnt believe my reaction..I cried..yes, shamelessly (:

    After reading your post, I can see how blessed your brother is..Kala Tikka..Touch wood..

    • R's Mom says:

      There is nothing wrong in crying rey…I mean…even I would have felt hurt…big hugs to you and glad that you are brave enough to acknowledge that your reaction was not actually needed..but at times, its always better to vent out our feelings and tears are a great form of doing that…

  31. Tharani says:

    ha ha ha R you are way too cute:-) love you. ha ha ha. i just can’t stop laughing.

  32. Swaram says:

    I wonder why this whole thing of being in a foreign land makes people feel lucky!
    Luck for me is when u r living life the way u want to – contented and doing what u want rather than what can give u more money and the like!:D

    RMB is def. very very lucky!

  33. Raji says:

    kuch tho log kahenge…. logon ka kaam hai kehna. you keep that bubbly attitude, okie. RM – itni energy kahan se lati ho yaar…. ek ke baad ek interesting post you generate.,,,
    I would say you people around you are lucky for all the energy and positive attitude you display ….

  34. anisnest says:

    lucky or unlucky is all in our mind.. ignore that poor old uncle I say.. his definition of luck is different from yours or amma’s or RMB’s.. Now you make us all go green on RMB.. such a lucky fella I say.. 🙂

  35. Tanishka says:

    After reading about your bro anyone will envy him and that uncle…. Well that uncle just needs to be ignored…

  36. Scribby says:

    calling someone lucky-unlucky, happy-unhappy, beautiful-ugly et al are just the relative terms…it all depends on how one sees and defines these words in life 🙂

    touch wood for RMB and bhabhi 🙂

  37. RM,

    I guess everyone has a set of wants and needs. and anyone who gets what they have wanted or thought would make life complete thinks that the other (who has them) is lucky 🙂
    Percepts !

    psst. I think your bro is super lucky and so are you 🙂

    • R's Mom says:

      I guess everyone has a set of wants and needs. and anyone who gets what they have wanted or thought would make life complete thinks that the other (who has them) is lucky – yes, I think you are right..its just a matter of perspective!

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