Change being the only Constant?

I find it really weird to hear that ‘Change is the only constant’

Has anyone told you that?

Because loads of people, have sure told me that…

I dont like change too much honestly…I mean, I would hate a change in my schedule in the morning which usually follows a set pattern, get up, search for specs, brush teeth, switch on kitchen light, open fridge, take out atta…well you do get the drift..

God forbid if R gets up in the middle or RD has this sudden brain wave of ‘helping’ his wife…We end up fighting 🙂 yaa…R and RD and I – all three of us 🙂

But over the years, as maturity pretends to set in at 30, and as I add more and more experience to my life (and grey to my hair!) I think its true ‘Change is actually the only constant!’

The other evening, RD had gone to pick up R and I had like 2 minutes and 38 seconds before the maid came in and I sat down to do nothing! I mean, I hardly get this nothing time to myself…I am always doing something…yep that makes me sound either totally inefficient or totally obsessive about using my hands..but anyways I digress.

I sat to do nothing and I thought ‘Wow! what a change’ and I love it.

I think I liked the fact of doing nothing. No reading (well, I didnt have a new book thats why 🙂 ), no seeing TV, no work, no house work. Just sitting and doing nothing.

My Chitappa used to tell my brother that when he would live till 100 only because he was so lazy that he wouldnt move his body anywhere. He has the ability to sit and do nothing for hours together.

For me, its a big big thing. Anyways I digress again.

As I sat thinking, I was wondering about change.

I wondered if I had the superpower to change something what would it be?

I thought of multiple things, you know like world peace, no water problems, no cuts in electricity, no terrorist attacks, no bribes, perfect roads, etc etc

And then I realised, why are things like the way they are. The bottomline is ‘we make things the way they are’ If we could change ourselves, would the world change as well.

What we need to do personally is BE THE CHANGE (sounds like some line from an ad na?)

I came up with a set of stuff that I would change to make the world a better place. While I type this, I know I may not be able to follow all, but well, at least I am starting to ‘think’ that ways.

1. No bribes to anyone for any work. I think that will solve a lot of issues. Imagine if no one bribed,  it would be so cool na. things would get done by people, for people and without any fights or favors!

2. No wasting water and electricity. I think I am doing this consciously for a while now. Switch off the lights, close the tap..things that can be done if made a practice

3. Use public transport. Well, its applicable of course only for cities WHERE public transport is available..but still, its kind of a conscious effort. If I can walk, I should walk it, if I can take the bus, I should take the bus. the effort to change the tendency the idea of hopping into a gasoline guzzling carbon emitting car every time!

4. Education. If there is anything we need to change in India at grassroots level, I think its the education system. Personally, one of the things I am very clear, is that I will never pressurize my child to study or learn by rote. No, dont get me wrong, I passed out of college thanks to my ‘by-hearting’ skills but thats something I would never hope my child has to do. We need to introduce more application based studies into our system. Give them the power to think, the power to question, the power to be confident of their knowledge.

Give more freedom to our kids to choose instead of just the engineer or doctor profession. If R asks me for an opinion my first answer would be do what you want, if she still asks I will tell her that her Appa wants her to be a hair dresser and her Amma wants her to be a chef 🙂 (what? I want free tasty food okie?!)

5. Women in India – I think we need to change. We need to speak up more, be more frank, be more brave, tell what we think is in our minds, fight out the society’s closed views on the patriarchal thought process, thrive to be more independent, dont bring up our daughters to be only a daughter in law, but bring her up to be an independent thinker, bring up our sons in such a way that they know what it is to respect a woman, cherish her and love her

6. Men in India – I guess this was just a generalisation but men definitely need to learn to respect women. If that comes in all problems automatically get solved. No harassment, no rapes, nothing. World will definitely become a better place to live.

7. Conserve nature – even if its potting a few plants in the balcony or putting up a bird feeder in the terrace. Do it. Every bit matters.

8. Respect the other person, irrespective of sex, religion, language, colour, kind of work they do, anything. Just respect that’s the bottom line.

I know most of this is possible by each of us if we really want to change the world. May be I cant speak on point 6, but for the rest of it, I am sure I am going to try my best to follow what I just wrote. Its not difficult, its just a matter of ‘wanting’ to do it.

This goes as an entry to http://facebook.com/sftimetochange (time to change)

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About R's Mom

Not-so-new-mom
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45 Responses to Change being the only Constant?

  1. summerscript says:

    Lovely!!! Loved all the 8 points! I agree that these are easy to follow and if we do, it will definitely bring a big change tomorrow!

    Kudos to you for thinking about all these stuff in that 2:38 mins! All I would have done is searching the kitchen for some snacks!

  2. Jay says:

    R’s mom, thanks for the reminder. I wanted to do a blogpost on my short term and long term aims. Then totally forgot about that!

  3. Wow! You thought all this in 2mins and 38seconds? 😀

    And Im guilty for not doing some of the above – like gardening which im still contemplating, bribing – well thats the sad part. There are times when you dont have a choice! No matter how idealistic you want to be and try to be – its so ingrained within the system that things just dont work without it – and yes, i admit shamefully that there has been a time during our houce construction when we had no choice but to shell out bribery money 😦
    Public transport – guilty 😦 since we all travel to the same workplace and the office bus timings dont suit us – we add to the traffic and the pollution…

    The others – I heartily agree…

  4. Jazz says:

    Oh that was such a nice post RM.. all changes are doable.. I think this would be the best post for SF’s Time to Change.. 🙂

  5. Seema says:

    Mmmmuah to you babes. I guess I have been practicing all of the points myself (Except 1 & 6, will work on 1). This post is sure food for thought.

    If you can think so much in 2 minutes 38 seconds, I’m glad you are occupied most of the time :mrgreen:

    The phrase ‘ totally obsessive about using my hands’ reminded me of Joey 😆

    • R's Mom says:

      You cant help the bribe part in India Seema…its so so ingrained in our system, that most of us dont even realise that its wrong 😦

      Errr..I am pretty much Joeyish that ways 🙂

  6. In 2 mins 38 seconds you came up with all that idea Ms. Einstein??? 😯

    Even I am like you, I mean I can’t just sit and do nothing….I always have to keep my hands and feet busy…..and err most of the time my mouth too 😳

    But now everything has changed…I am forced to be on the bed and feel miserable half the time 😥

    • R's Mom says:

      Errr…when your thoughts whirl through your mind, you become Einstein for that time 😉

      Hugs hugs and BIG hugs darling..hope in a month’s time things settle down 🙂

  7. uma says:

    hey Rm, please ignore the link on the above comment:..i hate WP for asking to login..i dont use my WP account..
    posting the above comment again:
    awesome points..yes, we need to change first, every one of us, then perhaps we can expect change at a higher level..
    all the best for the contest!

  8. Reema says:

    He who rejects change is the architect of decay. The only human institution which rejects progress is the cemetery. ~Harold Wilson

    good points!

  9. techie2mom says:

    Wow!!! i don’t think, u set there doing nothing. u thought so much in those 2 mins & 38 secs :)!!!

    i mean i cannot agree more to this thought process. especially after having Zini, i am getting more concerned about education & the way women are treated by men (& other women).

    would love to see that Zini gets to learn the things & not just ratta marofy. would like her to follow her passion & not get bogged down by pressure to pursue the popular stream of studies. but i didn’t get good feelings about the current education environment, when we visited couple of playschool. they seemed more like corporate coaching classes, rather than playschool, they told us what all things they will teach the child & how they will manage the deliverables (!!!??!). when we inquired about the (lack of) playground at one of the school, the lady there told us that now a days kids don’t have time to go to the playground. then why r u calling this a PLAY school?!?!?! call it conditioning camp, please….

    and the problem of lack of respect for women, is something that has been bothering me a lot, lately. Many a times, women are not supposed to show their opinions & preferences, or voice their thoughts. My whole family always encouraged us to speak our mind without any gender bias. so when i had a brush with such an attitude, i was shocked. i couldn’t understand which thing that i said was improper (The fact that i spoke my mind was improper according to the popular standard)?!?!

    Hope the world changes to be a better place (of course we too will have to work towards that, i am starting energy & water conservation now :)), so our children enjoys life even more :)(keeping my fingers crossed)!!!!!!

  10. nithvin says:

    ‘I am always doing something’ Like what, RM? can you elaborate..just curious..
    err..I think I can join your brother’s club..I can pretty much stay without doing anything for hours..of course, now any spare time I get is mostly to catchup on my sleep 😦
    Agree with you on most of the points regarding change..especially point 4but things like ‘no to bribery’ is a bit difficult here..most of the times that seems to be the practical way out if you are hard pressed for time or don’t have the ‘right’ contacts..

    • R's Mom says:

      I am either reading, or cleaning, or folding..something or the other 🙂

      I can understand your no bribery bit..it is difficult in India at least

  11. Mathangi Vijay says:

    Oh my God RM!! So much thoughts within such a short span of time!! Too much.. Yes, I really agree with all your points.. Especially the part that we should train our sons to understand and cherish the freedom and needs of women.
    It is time men came out of the stereotype of I am the Man of the house, so I can be whatever I want to be.. As you said, once that problem is fixed, most problems will be resolved.
    I can see a few men nowadays coming out of that shell, hope the change infects everyone..
    And for the others, yes I try to follow most of them.. I take the public transport more cuz cabs are costly and public transport is very effective in Singapore.. i am cheap you see.. But At least that way I am doing some good to the society, so I am Happy 🙂

  12. Smita says:

    All the points that you have mentioned very relevant. And as you say the key the change lies with us, we need to have the drive to change then only it can happen.

  13. aame says:

    Such straight and beautiful thoughts ! Kind of the ones which pop up anytime in ur mind and are so hard to pen down because of the turmoil they have already caused.But thankfully u had those 2 mins of doing nothing that ended up so beautifully in this post.And i hope we all can really follow these and other calls of our conscience.Thanks for this post ! Have a great weekend ahead !

  14. G Vishwanath says:

    Changes have hit me from time to time in my lifetime of 63 odd years.
    As a child, as a student, as a young man, as a career obsessed executive, as a General manager, A company director, a consultant and advisor and now finally as a retired “house husband”.
    I have adapted to all these changes by changing myself to fall in line with the needs of the time and situation and circumstances.
    Tension occurs when you encounter changes you don’t want and they still overtake you.
    Problems are faced by people who refuse to change their thinking, their ways and habits to suit new situations over which they have no control.
    I have no problems with change as long as they are changes for the better.
    I welcome them. They bring a well needed break in monotony.
    I find change invigorating.

    Thanks for this opportunity to philosophize a bit.

    My wife loves change too!
    Every month she rearranges the furniture!
    Regards
    GV

    • R's Mom says:

      and your wife is EXACTLY like my Amma..she loves rearranging the furniture and God knows why…one day you come back from school..and throw your bag on the sofa only to realise that it falls with a thump on the floor with books strewn out becuase Amma moved the sofa to the other side…!!!

      I loved your description of yourself now ‘house husband’ isnt that cute 🙂

  15. Some interesting points there RM. And yes, I do believe change is the only constant apart from death and taxes! 😛 (Or something like that!)

  16. anisnest says:

    super RM.. Add recycling too to this list.. I have started practicing this finally at home involving Adi too.. “Be the change you want to see” – said by Mahatma Gandhiji. I believe in this 200%..
    Looks like you should get more free time.. your thinking is amazing.. If I got a free time it would have only manifolded my worries :(..

  17. summerscript says:

    No post today??? Hope all is well!

  18. RM,

    Okie, first things first. You call all THIS as doing nothing. Come home and I shall teach you the beauty of nothingness – like just having an empty mind.
    Okie now seriously ( I was serious about what I said previously as well but anyways). those are some really good thoughts and create the kind of difference that the change should make.
    Thanks for sharing your thoughts ! :))

    Waiting to hear more of your weekend apart from the 2:38 you just shared 🙂

  19. Scribby says:

    lol @ get up search for spec.. 🙂 🙂

    I agree to all that you’ve written.!!! so what happened to the entry ?

    Educating people is of utmost importance me thinks !

  20. Sampath says:

    Nicely written
    Well done yaar..cheers for the article :).
    Also Check out mine.Give your comment on it.
    Are Hijra’s(TransGender) not a Human being.?

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