The Confusion with Canines

I have often confessed my fear of dogs…I am still scared..Despite so many bloggers I read who are avid animal lovers (Sangi, IHM, Shail-ji, Ashwathy you hearing 🙂 ) I am scared…seriously scared

I have however, for the past 4 to 5 years, learnt to keep my distance..I just stand absolutely still when a dog approaches me or if RD is around, grip his hands so tightly that his bones creak under the pressure, and he being the loving husband just grins and bears it..but I dont run..not any more!

Did I mention about my fear being transferred to R much to RD’s chagrin…

There were a couple of things infact that happened..something I have mentioned earlier in the blog..

There is this model who has two dogs..a Labrador and a Dalmatian…the Dalmatian is new..the Labrador was around since R has been born..

When she was about an year old, my Appa got a huge ball for her from Germany..Dont ask me how he got it in  his suitcase..I think he just carried it in his hands and told the perplexed airport authority guys that ‘no no, I wont play with it, its for my grand daughter’ (Well, thats not true, between he and RD I am wondering who clocked more hours of play ;))

Anyways, so we took it down one day to play and the Labrador was let loose in the compound, literally pounced on R, snatched it from her hand and tore it into pieces…R was stunned, scared, and so scared that she refused to stop crying for 10 minutes..and I was equally scared.The dog obviously loves playing with ball and didnt know where to put a stop to it.then of course the  model came in and offered money to buy a new ball which I refused..

The second time, RD dropped us at the gate and went in to park the car..the Labrador came so suddenly and pounced on R (I was stand still just waiting for RD) and R and I screamed so loudly that the watchmen and people of 3 floors came down..no I dont exaggerate here…RD was shaking like a leaf by the time he reached us because he heard our blood curling screams…again the dog just wanted to show his love towards little kids like R. and he was without a lease 😦

I dont blame the Lab..he is a very friendly dog and loves children…after that I must admit that whenever he sees me, he realises that I am scared and just looks at me coolly and walks away..same thing with R..even if other kids are playing with him, he avoids R because he has realised she is scared..and I respect him for that!

Some three-four Sundays ago, R and I were downstairs playing langdi in the lobby with the kids..It was my den and I was on one side of the lobby and R stood on the other side on slab higher up the ground. I was trying to catch of the kids and then I heard R scream…I turned and I saw the Dalmation near her without a lease..and just about to jump on the slab..one of the older girls we were playing with, quickly rushed to R and picked her up and R kept screaming ‘didi didi’ and then it happened

One lady came in and shouted at the maid who was with the dogs..both the dogs were without lease..I went to R and told her ‘kuch nahi karega kuch nahi karega’

this is what happened…the lady, her 8 year old son and her husband were going out of the building for a wedding and as soon as the lady turned, the dalmatian jumped on her..and the labrador ran to her..she is also scared of the dogs..and then when she screamed the dalmatian rushed to R who was inside..all this in front of the maid who wasnt the least bother to put a lease despite of there being a strict rule in the society that ALL DOGS HAVE TO BE LEASED!

then the husband lost his temper and I think R’s screaming aggravated it..and he started telling the maid first politely that you please take care of the dogs and she just turned back and shouted right back at him saying ‘the dogs didnt do anything’ and it snowballed into a fight..the maid tried to rush the dogs into the lift while he held the door of the lift asking her to apologise to his wife and ensure that the dogs will need to be leased in the future…the whole drama went for  a while with the society helper and the watchmen also supporting the family..the  maid remained defiant and her attitude worsened…she threatened the family and  the guy got so bugged that he said get off the lift and take the stairs and I will  ensure you dont stay here…etc etc

all the while, the kids were watching the fight..the younger maid who was playing langdi with us stood there..saying nothing…I tried to defuse the situation but the older maid’s attitude was so bad that I stopped after a while..I didnt want the kids to witness the whole thing but unfortunately it happened 😦

and then came an avalanche of complains

Apparently, the model and her maids NEVER lease the dogs despite requests of the members..the Labrador has bitten off the flesh in the hip of an old gentleman, taken away balls from about 2 other kids, the dalmatian has bit 3 people..etc etc etc..Despite the society’s requests the model refuses to do anything..

and then the society helper told me that bhabhi if I go and tell the maid anything, she accuses me of harassing her and then her owner comes and shouts at me for harassing her maid basically threatening him badly…he tells me ‘bhabhi woh ladies log hai, mein zyada kuch bolne jata hoon toh dhamki dete hain’

I didnt say anything, I just said I understand..

Apparently when the dogs are let loose the owner says ‘kuch nahi karega’ will not do anything..and then when it bit the person she said ‘abhi kutta hai kya bolu’ its a dog what to say?

I agree its a dog…and doesnt really understand..it may be its way of showing love..but I think as a member of the society who is scared no matter how silly it sounds, all dogs should be leased..period. full stop.

My best friend from college had a Lab in her house and she would NEVER leave him as it is while taking him for a walk..if she wanted to make him run, she would either take him to a park when it was kind of deserted or make him run in the compound

But leaving a dog without lease in a place during evening times when kids are playing and the likelyhood of people accessing the lobby is more, I dont think that is right.

Who is to blame?

Definitely NOT the dogs..the poor creatures dont know a thing and all they want is to show their love

Who then?

People like us who fuss about being scared of dogs

or people like the maid who doesnt seem to care others getting scared

or people like the model who doesnt seem to bother about her maids or following the society rules 😦

Its a pretty tricky situation eh?

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About R's Mom

Not-so-new-mom
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66 Responses to The Confusion with Canines

  1. OMG the dogs are never leashed??? If the model was living here she would have been dragged to court for that. Thank god for small mercies here….as it is even if the dog is on leash I become like a cat with all the hair in my body standing stiff!!

    It’s really irresponsible on the model and her maid’s part to not leash the dogs especially with kids around 😡

    • R's Mom says:

      I do get scared myself…see thats what na Saks..the dogs are pretty friendly and a lot of other kids in the building play with them as well..but some kids like R are scared..which is why the confusion..should they be leased or not, or are we only over reacting 😦

  2. lifesong says:

    Gosh RM, I would be scared to stay in your society. How irresponsible of the model to behave in this manner! Why doesn’t the society take action against her considering that there is a strict rule about keeping dogs under leash which she openly violates and people have been actually bitten by her dogs. Shocking!!!
    And a dog pouncing on a child is not funny even if he does it out of love. It can be quite scary experience for the child.

    • R's Mom says:

      Well, we all have spoken to her and then for the next 5 days the dogs are leashed…and then after that its the same story…yaa the dog is definitely very very friendly..but then 😦

  3. nithvin says:

    Hi RM..been reading your posts but not able to comment..work & more work 😦
    Dogs, how ever big or small, need to be on a leash out side their homes..not everybody is brave around dogs..and to expect everybody to be fearless around their dogs is not fair on the owners’ part..
    gah to that model in your apartment..she doesn’t seem to have any empathy for her neighbours..poor R..getting scared like that..

  4. RM, I COMPLETELY 100% Agree with you. What do we know how the dogs will react and to what? Inside their homes, they can be let free but when they are out and there are other people around – scared or not – the dogs need to be on a Leash. That is the only security the others have.

    I am also very very scared of dogs,my hands and legs begin to shiver when I see a couple of dogs together, because I dont know if the next moment they will pounce… – more for the dogs who are pets than the street dogs…

    • R's Mom says:

      Thats the only security others have..so very true..but sometimes like I wrote, I do feel we are over reacting..they are just being friendly..but somehow, how much ever I try and tell my mind that be friendly, I get scared and start to shiver 😦

  5. Smita T says:

    You are right RM, dogs should be on leash… you know we have a dog at my MIL’s place which comes us to visit our home whenever my Inlaws are out of station, I think I have never ever, took him out without leash… he is a very old dog of about 15 years, and has never bitten anyone ever… but still you never know, he is a dog, you cannot predict his behaviour… and keeping him on leash gives me control over him….

  6. Not tricky at all, RM. It is the model who is at fault the most for not making sure that her maids follow the society rules. The maids won’t bother if their employer doesn’t understand the importance of it. The maid’s attitude and rudeness is only a reflection of her employer’s attitude in this case.

    • R's Mom says:

      True I agree..the model doesnt seem to bother 😦 even if the society committee gets bugged and gives warning..its only for like 5 days..after that its the same old story

  7. Seema says:

    I would go with the answer: people like the model who doesnt seem to bother about her maids or following the society rules.

    She has to abide by the rules of the society. If she has to live by her own rules, why doesn’t she go live in a secluded individual villa? Also, I think her callousness has percolated to the maid and that’s the reason she is being indifferent to the problem faced by the people due to their dogs.

  8. Ashwathy says:

    It is unfortunate that you suffer dog phobia…because of irresponsible dog owners. Why have a pet when you don’t know how to handle them, especially in front of others?

    If you bring up one of your own, that’s the best way of overcoming the fear. If not, you should have someone close to you who owns a dog. But unfortunately for you, you have examples of all the wrong incidents…. 😦

  9. The Bride says:

    Don’t think it is tricky at all. The dogs should be get on a leash. I am a complete dog lover but I still say they should be kept on a leash. My mom and I are guilty of letting our dog run around without a leash in our building in Bombay but we only do it when nobody is around, and we stay close so we can catch her. In the event that she evades us and runs up to someone we apologise profusely. In fact, we shouldn’t be letting her off the leash but she’s like a human being about peeing… if someone is too close she’s embarrassed and won’t pee.

    I’m really surprised that a Lab would bite anyone, they are the most peaceful of dogs – not saying it didn’t happen but it could mean the dog is being confined too much or otherwise frustrated. Dalmations are very bouncy so they in particular should not be let loose if there are people around that dislike them; on the other hand, they need to get plenty of exercise to be happy but that’s the owner’s problem not yours.

    • R's Mom says:

      LOL on your dog’s peeing 🙂

      Err…I know Labs are like the sweetest dogs na..my best from college had one and despite my fear, he would just look at me, and smile and then proceed to ignore me 🙂 no sniffing or anything…

  10. Smitha says:

    It is totally the model’s fault! How can she disregard rules like this? The rules are there for a reason. What is amazing is that the dogs have already bitten somebody and yet, she refuses to abide by rules!

    Hope R is fine now… Poor darling, she must have been so scared!

    • R's Mom says:

      thats what na Smitha, the rules get followed for 5 days after all the shouting and then again they are back to the usual 😦

      R is scared of dogs, though now a days she is making an attempt after RD’s coaching…’Amma, you dont ge scared, I will do dishoom to the dog, no no, I will tell dog, please go away, Amma is scared!’

    • Smitha says:

      R is a cutie pie!

      But the dogs seem dangerous.. The least the owner can do is keep them leashed. Esp after it has already bitten somebody.. Why is it so difficult for people to follow rules 😦 or just common sense, for that matter 😦

      I love dogs(and cats and all sorts of animals ) but Poohi is petrified The only dog she goes close to is my parent’s dog. Once a dog here came and licked her nose – it was as tall as her, and ever since, she has been petrified of dogs 😦

      • R's Mom says:

        oh God! I can understand what Poohi feels..something similar happened to me when I was a kid..a dog practically jumped on me..and thats it..after that I am shit scared 😦

  11. Deeps says:

    People who take undue advantage of the facilities and freedom to the point of causing discomfort to others around them are to be blamed. In this case the model and the maid who are being insensitive to the other residents in the complex. They should understand that they have all the freedom to raise and take care of a pet but not at the cost of their fellow beings’ safety! Cant all the residents jointly lodge a complaint to the association managers against the model and the maid? They have already broken the rule of not keeping the dogs leashed, right? Gosh, this is really bad!

  12. ah, that must have been quite a situation no?
    Even though I looooooooooooooooooooove dogs and nobody in my family leashes the dogs at home but ofcourse do when they take them out on walks, I think this was quite a scare !
    Just tell the model directly RM.

    Oh and psst on a separate note, I did the RM-arathon ! Seriously – I read your April to almost october 2011 posts in train and during travel and breaks also :)))))
    Talk of catching up 🙂

  13. I LOVE dogs, and dream of owning one some day in my life. Dogs are generally harmless, I believe, and when they jump on you, it might be scary, but all they want to do is show their love.

    That said, I can understand how scary the situation can be for someone who is scared of dogs.

    It is the responsibility of the dog owner to see that her pets do not create any trouble for the neighbours, especially in a flat. Can’t you do something about the model? Maybe serve her a notice through the society or something?

  14. Firstly, she has a Labrador and a Dalmatian in an apartment??? That’s just cruel! One I can understand but two big dogs that need a lot of exercise are going to get very frustrated in that confined space. So of course, what else are they going to do when let out without any restriction (read: leash)? Run and jump and create havoc! Plus labs at least if not trained well are very jumpy dogs. I have a client for whom I’d do home visits and they had a lab who was not trained and so would bark and jump at any stranger. I love dogs so wasn’t scared of her but she was so overweight too that once when she was jumping on me I was scared I’d fall down! I blame owners all the time. You can’t blame the animal. It’s the manner in which they are trained (or in some cases, not) and they will behave that way.

    • R's Mom says:

      Thats what PB is my biggest surprise..if you know Bombay, you will realise that the apartments are really not too big…two dogs + model + 2 maids, I wonder how difficult it would be 😦

      and yes I read about these species needing a lot of activity!

      You are very brave my dear, very very brave…*Salutes*

  15. Smita says:

    Nah! I don’t think that this is a tricky situation. If the society rules demand that the dogs should be leashed then they should be. plain & simple. Specially when you have quoted so many examples of the dogs going voilent. And to top it all t he maid is misbehaving.

    You know why people get away with this kind of indiscipline? Because we let them get away. Simple!!!

    On a side note, you play tandgi?? hehehehe

  16. techie2mom says:

    OMG!!! this is really really bad, how can they leave the dogs free, when one of them has already bitten somebody.
    though i am not as petrified of dogs, (actually have fond memories of my uncle’s dog, a german shepherd) but i still am a little scared in company of an unknown dog 🙂 can understand your situation completely.
    really brave of R to say “I will tell dog, please go away, Amma is scared!’

  17. ashreyamom says:

    simple.. its models fault..
    even i am dead scared of dogs.. and my little one goes and pulls my neighbors dog.. actually its a street dog.. common for my apartment block. it accompanies me, when i go alone to market or bus stand. it doesn’t allow strangers to come.. best it doesn’t pee on the corridor.. rather a well mannered dog.. still i am scared of it. it doesn’t react if my daughter tries to stamp it or pull its tail etc etc..

  18. I suggest you introduce R to a young cute puppy.
    She will overcome her fear of dogs after interacting with a puppy first.

    My wife is like you. She is scared of dogs
    I am the opposite. I can go bravely to even a stray dog, and get it to wag its tail and lick my hand.

    During my youth, I used to ride motorcycles.
    There was a stray dog in the street that chased any one riding a two wheeler.
    Most two wheeler riders would speed up and risk accidents.
    Not me. When this mutt tried chasing me, I slowed down, braked, got off the bike, went up to it, and spoke to it (in a mixture of bazaar Hindi and English and strange doggie sounds ) till it wagged its tail, licked my hand even as I gave it friendly pat on he head and ruffled the fur on its neck.
    I resumed my ride and that dog never chased me again!

    It is important to understand that only rabid dogs bite without provocation. These dogs are just having their version of harmless good fun and they must be getting a tremendous kick out of scaring us silly humans.

    Some people have a way with dogs, and I am one of them.
    May be you can’t change now, but R must not be allowed to develop this fear.

    Of course, in this case society elders and office bearers are to blame.
    They must serve a notice and threaten legal action or reporting to the police or corporation authorities if the model does not follow society rules.
    In my opinion it is the model who must be put on a leash. Her dogs are being just dogs. This model not being a model of proper behaviour.

    Regards
    GV

    • R's Mom says:

      Wow! that was a super brave thing to do..I think RD would do something like that 🙂

      Some people have a way with dogs, – So so true

      Yaa you are right, I should be more careful with R…I hope she doesnt turn out to be like me…

      I loved loved loved your last line hehehe 🙂

  19. NBose says:

    It is completely that model lady’s fault…….why don’t you complain to the society management because it seems that dogs simply wanted to play but unleashed they can cause harm to kids unknowingly or like being too playful or excited.

    I am embarrassed to accept that i am scared on any animal on this earth…be it dog, cat, cow or even Innocent birds…I get the goose bumps even if any of these are near….scared of dogs specially coz had been chased by one when I was kid!!!

  20. anisnest says:

    We are soul sisters when it comes to dogs RM.. I am scared to no end (have an incident of chased by a dog a pomorean at that on school days..) and have generously passed the fear to Adi much to M’s chagrin (I learned this work from your post today Yayyyy)..
    As you have said dogs should always be leashed no matter how much the owner had understood its nature. Shouldn’t they acknowledge other’s fear? How would they feel if I pet a tiger and leave it unleashed at front of their home claiming that my tiger is more like a cat and its harmless?
    We have a neighbor who owns a small dog and he leaves it on the curb on evenings without leashing.. You won’t believe while crossing his house Adi and I prefer to walk on the road instead of the curb to avoid this dog.. Adi just hugs me tight and we walk on the road.. but, this guy royally ignores our fear even after noticing it for few days.. what can I say? 😦

  21. My Era says:

    I am a pet lover and have had pet dogs of many big and small species all my life. But this kind of insensitive, reckless and irresponsible behavior as is being shown by the model is highly unacceptable.
    We always leash our dogs when they are outside our campus. Besides you mentioned the dogs have actually bitten someone, in such a case strict action should be taken against the model if she refuses to comply by the rules of the society.

    Afterall it is a big hazard to the safety of the people and children living in your area. I can so imagine how scared R must have been when the dog attacked and how scared and upset she must have been when the dog tore her ball to pieces 😦

  22. Sangitha says:

    Responsibility is not negotiable, where’s the confusion? We have a wonderful puppy who has won over several non-doggie people, even terrified kids over a few hours. Yet, we would never leave her unsupervised (kids can be equally painful, honestly but if she were to ever bite, even under extreme provocation, it isn’t okay). Apologizing after the fact is hardly the answer.

    I have to say that parents who don’t discipline their kids (today, one almost jumped on my back as I was swimming and the parents sat there, smiling indulgently….all their apologies can’t unmess a messed up back, right?!) should be given equal status to dog owners who don’t care for their dogs and others around. Kids can’t even be leashed! Imagine the damage they can cause!

    That said, some accommodations have to be made for dealing with a different species. For example, their nails will be a bit sharper (the dew claws, even if the others are smooth from regular walks), they will jump and express their love in different ways, kids might get scratched by nails, they can play and some tooth marks can happen if they miscalculate or get over excited with rough play….supervision and responsible dog ownership are critical. Those who think they have a dog because they feed the road stray have no clue of this.

    • R's Mom says:

      loved loved loved your comment..for the millionth time, I LOVE the way you write and express yourself..

      I cant imagine the parents didnt tell the child anything when she jumped on you 😦

  23. Mathangi Vijay says:

    Whether the dogs are friendly are not they should definitely be leashed RM.. When Humans, our minds are not same all time, how can we expect the dogs to be.. If by any chance the dogs bite someone, you cannot really blame the dog.. After all they are just dogs.. And once they bite, the treatment is also painful.. So you can never take things like these for granted. It is really irresponsible in the part of the model and her maids to behave in this way. I shudder at the thought of dogs running around the building unleashed!!

    • R's Mom says:

      They should be leashed..so agree to that..the thing is after the shouting and all, it happens for 5 days..and then things are back to usual 😦

  24. Sreetama says:

    As pointed out by others, it is clearly the owner’s fault. Even the maids are reluctant due to their employer’s reluctant attitude. She has kept the dogs just to show off and nothing else, as far I think as owning dogs of good breeds is a status symbol! Had she really cared for the dogs or the residents of the society, she would’ve got them properly trained or at least put them on leash when they are outside.

    • R's Mom says:

      I think you may not be too wrong..in the past three years, I havent seen her play with the dogs more than twice..but again, I may be wrong

  25. summerscript says:

    This reminds me of a sad news I read long back. In a small building , one lady let her dog run around in the terrace. there were two young boys playing in the terrace and one got scared ran around while the dog chased him , but the poor boy fell down from the terrace.
    This news was discussed in the paper in detail that It should be the owner’s responsibility.

  26. Reema says:

    I too dont like dogs and am somewhat scared of them..but I love cats!! and more so of the reasons because of which I dislike dogs.

  27. Priyanka says:

    Start feeding biscuits to the dogs and make them your pets. Hopefully, they won’t attack you this way 🙂

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