Risms in 2012 – 3

R is sitting on the potty…I am folding and refolding her black ribbons to give them some kind of shape…and then she asks ‘Amma, aaj black uniform che?‘ (Amma, today is black uniform)

RM: yes
R: Mereko school nahi jana (I dont want to go to school)
RM: Kyun (Why)
R: Because I dont want to going. Mereko daycare jana hai…Aap mereko ‘choding’ karenge che (Because I dont want to go. I want to go to daycare. Will you drop me? – Choding is actually chod denge!)

=========
I am asking R to hurry up in the morning..

RM: Arey R jaldi karo, we will miss your bus

R doesnt reply for about 3 seconds

and suddenly says ‘Amma, mereko chotu baby when you giving’

I am stunned and ask her ‘why are you asking’

R: Amma, P ke ghar mein chotu baabu aya, mereko bhi want hai (P got a small boy in his house, even I want one)

Well Well…what to say?

*P is a guy in her daycare who got a baby brother and everyone in the daycare is so excited about it and P is showing off big time about his baby brother 🙂

==========

RD, R and I are in the car where the radio is on….between the song, RD and I start fighting talking to each other

R: Arey, awaz baandh karo, mereko sunai nahi de raha (Arey dont  make noise, I cant hear!)

RM and RD just shut up…(the argument continues later on ;))

=======

RD gets R back from the daycare, while I am cooking

R: amma

RM: hmmmm

R: Amma

RM: hmmmm

R: amma, amma, amma

RM:” arey what, tell na

R: Amma, mereko bahut bada bhuk lage che..kuch khaing ke liye che (Amma, I am very hungry (bada bukh is actually big hunger, it cant be really translated into English *rolls eyes* Is there anything to eat?)

bada bhuk – It reminds me instantly of kumbhakaran!!!
========

While we were at the camp RD had chai from there…I have not started tea for R yet..and when RD (ETA changed from R to RD had written R earlier by mistake, Theek hai RD????)  drinks his beer or any other alcoholic drink, we usually tell that ‘its Appa chai, yuck’ and R doesnt ask for it

So at the camp, RD takes tea first..and then after a while goes to the ice box to pick up his beer…R like the tail, follows him…‘yeh kaay e’ (What is this?) she asks RD

RD: Chai beta..

R: (Perplexed) Chai cold bhi you drink and chai hot bhi you drink? (You drink cold chai and hot chai?)

RD: !!!!

=======

R and I are having our usual morning fight with the hair combing when she looks at her ball which has fallen on the floor (Who has the time to pick it up? no one!)

R: Amma, aa ball toh giriyu che (Amma this ball has fallen down) Giriyu – is the GujHindi form of fallen…Gira in Hindi and Padayu in Gujju…which R the linguist combines to say Giriyu!!!

==========

Again, I am in the kitchen doing something..RD has gone out to meet someone..

R: Amma, mereko aap bahut aache lagte ho (Amma, I like you a lot)

RM is pleased as a pea: Awww! even I like you  baby

R: Amma, I love you lod lod (I love you a lot)

RM now melts into a puddle of mush: I love you too a lot darling

R: Amma, aap meri friend ho na (Amma, you are my friend na)

RM: yes yes baby

R:Aacha, toh woh fridge mein se zara chocolate give karo na (then give me that chocolate from the fridge!)

RM:!!!!

This girl I tell you, is a sure shot diplomat in the making!
===

and just as we came back from Zephyr’s place..in the evening, I am pretending to stitch that hook of her uniform, while she is pretending to help me..

suddenly she says ‘amma, maine aapka blog read kiya’

and I prick myself with the needle in shock…WHAT I ask her

R: Amma, maine blog read kiya..Zephyr (she calls her something else, but I dont know if I can put that on the  blog :)) ne bola na..toh maine woh read kiya hai

Can  you believe this? I mean kids pick up SO FAST!!! I am shocked! Zephyr and I were discussing blogs and stuff and the brat was pretending to jump from bed to bean bag actually listening to our conversation 🙂

======

I am cutting onions for making veg cheese omelets while the brat is sitting on the kitchen platform giving me instructions and eating her banana chips..

my eyes water, I am literally crying while cutting the onions when R looks at me earnestly and says

Amma, aap onions se darr te ho kya? (Amma are  you scared of the onions?)

RM: *sniff sniff* no no why are you asking?

R: Then why you are crying while cutting it?

RM:!!!!!

Well, I dont have any answer to that, do I ?

=====

R had a story telling session in her school on Tuesday. Now for a mother who reads books for her child, this should be easy na…nahi…we just got confused and didnt know what story to tell…I tried to make her tell the bhindi and other lovely *ahem* stories that I had come up with, but the brat refused 😦

So she comes up with her own story!

One day, a deer was drinking water near a river. The tiger came. and Deer said hello and the tiger ate the deer.

Bhagwan….what a gory story!!!

=================

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About R's Mom

Not-so-new-mom
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88 Responses to Risms in 2012 – 3

  1. In splits 🙂 And love her gory story!!

  2. ROFL at R’s story…god I am in splits laughing!!! 🙄 But must say she is smart RM coz she knows whatever anyone says a Deer will always look like BBQ to the tiger :mrgreen:

    Tell tell RM…kab you giving another smart junior R for us??? 👿

  3. AT says:

    oops at the story..
    I loved reading about her…you have free access to entertainment 😉

    and RM, tell tell are you afraid of onions 😛

  4. As soon as you go home today, the first thing you do is to give a beeeg tight hug on my behalf to R! Okay?

    You know what RM? Actually you and me are sailing in the same boat. Not exactly. You are actually better off. Keer and Kau are now talking these mixed languages. Tamil, English, Hindi, Telugu – all together. Ex. Amma! Chair-pe koocho! At least you know all the languages R speaks. I don’t even know Telugu and Hindi to manage! 😦 😦

  5. summerscript says:

    Literally ROFL-ing 😛 after reading R’s tiger-deer story !!!
    Deer said hello and tiger ate it- man I don’t think I can stop laughing 😀 😀 😀
    Meine aapka blog read kiya – I got shocked too!!!
    This girl na she is awesome !!!! Muahhhhhh to her 🙂

  6. RD says:

    “While we were at the camp RD had chai from there…I have not started tea for R yet..and when R drinks his beer or any other alcoholic drink, we usually tell that ‘its Appa chai, yuck’ and R doesnt ask for it”

    Nice one – when R drinks his beer. Arre why are you making sweet little R and alcoholic at such a tender age…. Hai meri Bachhi..

  7. My era says:

    What gory about this simple as a matter of fact story 😉 😉 the deer greeted the wrong person err animal
    Moral: don’t involve in useless courtesies and run when you should 😉 😆
    I like obedient parents who stop fighting to let R hear the radio 😀
    Btw when R getting chotu baby?? *runs full speed yelling bachao bachao*

  8. Suba says:

    She is soooooooooooooooo cute 🙂 chamathu kutti R
    -Suba

  9. Tharani says:

    Ha ha ha ha ha. The story made me ROFL.. Ha ha ha.
    Mwahhh to R and you too for writing this.

  10. uma says:

    ROFL @ the story at the end…
    and..ahem ahem..another hint at the new arrival..so when are you giving R chotu baby?
    waise, the other day I got a fwd that said, if you want a baby on 12.12.12, this is the last week to try!!!!
    so, you know…I thought this info will be useful to you…leap year baby nahin toh kya hua..triple 12 is an ausm birth date! *muhahaha…*

  11. Nithvin says:

    This post brought a big smile on my face :D. Loved R’s deer story..short & smart..

    btw, try this to cut onions without crying..place the onions in a closed dish in the refrigerator half an hour before you want to cut them..it works for me most of the times..but some onions are too stubborn even for this..even I ‘cry’ a lot while cutting onions..

  12. shail says:

    ROTFL @Aap onion se darte ho kya? 😀
    The beer story reminded me of my elder son. While three, he was keenly interested in what the “Uncles” were drinking. The colored soft drinks the “Aunties” werer ahving he was familar with. But what was this other drink which he never got to taste as yet. So he started asking for it (rum/whisky). I had already told him it doesn’t taste good, but yet he wanted it. My husband was pouring out a drink for his guests one day when the son again pestered for the ‘drink that Uncle’s are having.” I took an instant decision, took a spoonful and gave it to him to taste. His face crinkled in distaste and he never asked for it again 🙂
    I don’t know if its a good idea to say beer is chai. I made it a point to always tell the kids the truth. But of course its your call. 🙂

    • R's Mom says:

      oh seriously! I dont know if I would try that…may be I should

      yaa..you are right about the beer = chai thing..the whole thing started when one day RD was drinking and R understood and she asked me what Appa is drinking and I just said Chai without thinking..so it became AppaChai 🙂 (which she knows is different from the chai Amma drinks in the morning)

      may be in an year’s time, I should just tell her what exactly it is 🙂

  13. Smita says:

    Everyday I open your blog 1st things in the morning but keep the comment pending when I have time later but today I have decided to comment NOW!!! 😀

    R’s antics are too sweet and really kids of this generation are too manipulative for our good and sadly we fall for them! Sigh!!!

    Her story is darn smart, “ek tha raja ek thi rani donon marr gaye khatam kahani” types!!! Teach her that 😀

    Pass on *millions of hugs to R*

  14. Gory or not, it was certainly as close to real life as it could get. The deer deserved it for not running for its life and trying to be friendly instead! R is really smart 🙂
    And RM, WHEN you giving chotu baby to R. Aapke readers ko bhi want che 🙂

  15. Seema says:

    Firstly, this is the best of all Risms ever!

    – Aap mereko ’choding’ karenge che! Wow, that was hybrid mix of languages.
    – R ki Amma, hamaareko chotu baby when you giving? Bolo bolo
    – Great work R! Pats on your back.
    – ‘bada bhuk – It reminds me instantly of kumbhakaran!!!’ – Shouldn’t it be Bakasur?? 🙄
    – What presence of mind!!! Im in awe
    – Yeah, they do pick things very very fast! We need to be very careful with our words and actions.
    – Hey RM, I wanna talk to her re. Can I call you some time plz?
    – For all the ‘Friends forever’ happy ending waale stories that you narrate to her, you get this in return. But her stories are atleast realistic. See how practical she is at this age. And all you say even when you crossed 30 is that dirt walks like a king and teeth cry.

    • R's Mom says:

      arey Kumbhakaran was woken up by the smell of food na…same thing with R..she can sniff and wake up 🙂 yep bakasur is also right though 🙂

      Errr…I will email you and get the number 🙂

      What…and I thought you liked my story *sobbing away*

  16. lifesong says:

    I was laughing all through this post reading 😀
    R is a darling 🙂
    And I see R is turning out to be a story teller just like her mom 😀

  17. ARP says:

    Hey RM,

    – Love you for posting the Rism. It always leaves a smile on my face and makes my day.

    – BTW, Tip for onions: Peel the onion/cut into halves and put all of them into water for 5 mins. Then chop them finely and then you won’t be afraid of onions 😛 It works I have tried it.

  18. Archana says:

    This girl is so smart! She just told the world’s shortest story. Hugs to the kid 😉 Kumbhakaran eats also, i thought he is the sleeping guy!

  19. Loved those Gujrindi ( or should I call it Hinjrati) Risms!
    R and I seem to be kindred souls.
    I too spent my childhood in Mumbai living in a locality populated mostly by Gujrati families.
    In our building, we and my uncle’s family were the only Taml Speaking families.
    All the others were Gujaratis.
    In Don Bosco, Matunga, where I did my schooling I was put in a class with plenty of Parsee children.
    I grew up speaking a mish mash of Paalakkad Tamil, bambaiya Hindi, and the accented Gujarati spoken by the Parsees. I also learned Gujarati formally as a third language in school for 10 years!
    I left Mumbai city for good in 1967 and I have been out of touch with the language now for close to 37 years but can still understand and read and write a little Gujarati.

    My children grew up mixing Kannada, Hindi and Palakkad Tamil with English.
    The results can be hilarious! Some day I will compile the list of their “isms” and also some hilarious “isms” of my late mother as she struggled to cope with Bombay Hindi Marathi and Gujarati, having migrated to Mumbai straight from our native village in Paalakkad District of Kerala during the nineteen forties and knowing only Paalakkad Tamil and a smattering of English.

    Kisses on both the cheeks to R
    From
    GV

    • R's Mom says:

      Wow…you learnt Gujju as 3 rd language in School..thats surprising eh?

      arey you should compile their ‘isms’ and put it up..(Where? on my blog of course) and then even your mom’s..it would be so so cute 🙂

      Kisses will be passed on 🙂

      • Okay, here you are:
        Two samples:

        Year 1955:
        I was about 6 and summer evening playtime was over
        My mom wanted my playmates in the neighbourhood who had collected at our house to go home.
        One North Indian kid still lingered.
        My mom (struggling with Hindi) wanted him out too and with concern asked:

        “Tumhaaraa Aam kidhar hai?”
        (तुम्हारा आम किधर है?)

        “Mera Aam to kha liyaa!” answered the kid to my mother’s consternation
        (मेरा आम तो खा लिया)

        Unless your readers know Tamil, they wont get the joke.

        (“Aam” is a common word in my lingo for home,(घर) and my mom didn’t know it meant Mango in Hindi)
        ========

        Here is another.
        She went to complain to a neighbour whose pup had bitten me(it was just a nick with the teeth and nothing serious)

        “Tumhaara naay hamaara V ko baitaa” she said.
        (तुम्हारा नाय हमारा V को बैटा)
        Got it?
        (she didn’t know the Hindi equivalent for the English word “bite”. नाय means dog in my mother tongue)

        More for some other day!
        Regards
        GV
        .

  20. Ashwathy says:

    RD, R and I are in the car where the radio is on….between the song, RD and I start fighting talking to each other.
    R: Arey, awaz baandh karo, mereko sunai nahi de raha (Arey dont make noise, I cant hear!)
    RM and RD just shut up…(the argument continues later on)

    Hahaha serves you right for shamelessly fighting in front of the kid!!! 😛

    I like that hot chai and cold chai comment!! 🙂 She’s actually starting to rationalise things!! She’s pretty young for that!

    Aacha, toh woh fridge mein se zara chocolate give karo na (then give me that chocolate from the fridge!)
    LOL!!! 😆 She is learning to apply proper maska!!! HAHAHA… I m so sorry I missed the priceless expression on your face at that time! :mrgreen:

    I nearly bit my lip in shock while reading how she commented about the blog!! Looks like you have competition MUCH sooner than you think. Be careful! 🙂

    How can be it a VEG cheese omlette when the egg itself is non-veg?? 😛 Don’t tell me u fall into the category of people who think egg is vegetarian?? 🙄

    ROFL @ the brat’s story!! She is very practical and to-the-point unlike you!! 😛 And she knows her basic facts right…. instead of you who makes conversations between animals and makes teeth dance!! 😀 😀 LOL

    BTW there is nothing very cute about her language. I m not sure what u r showing off so proudly 😛 At 3 years old it sounds cute, I agree. And also intelligent…being able to put together so many words from different language and still get the meaning across. But when she grows older, you are going to run into major problems. It is better to correct her language at the earliest. At the risk of sounding like a dadima, I m telling you 😛

  21. wow…… RM, R is such a cute girl…… i sure wanted a baby girl like R…..
    Very smart and realistic story yaar

  22. RM the creator must be having an algorithm to make babies. I make up stories too. And the ALL are gory. When I don’t know how to end a story, I just kill the main character 😀

    And little miss Smartypants gets the chocolate so cleverly!

    Please oh please, next time act innocent and ask her blog matlab kya. I want to know what that pint sized mind is thinking 🙂

  23. Awwww this is such a cute post. I am ROFL reading it. 🙂
    Being from Gujju-land myself, I could totally relate to some parts. Good to meet a fellow Gujju-related blogger! 🙂

  24. Swarna says:

    hey R’s mom,
    Lady you should be happy and thank god for R. She is not fussy about eating. Nazar utaarofy karo :)… My son takes 2+ hours to finish his food on the plate, in the end we have to again force and make him eat, there are days when I just give up, some times I have also hit him. I have never heard him say he is hungry 😦
    Love to R. I feel very happy to know such kids.
    Swarna

    • R's Mom says:

      I know..loads of people tell me that I am lucky about R’s eating habits…

      Hugs to your little one..he is so like my brother…you know finally a stage came that my mom used to just keep the plate and say eat if you want to..and eventually he would 😉

  25. Swaram says:

    She is just so sweet. I know I hv said it 100 times but still 😛
    Pls to ask her when she is gonna get her own blog 😉

  26. zephyr says:

    A storyteller’s daughter will be a storyteller, won’t she? And what a story! She is the most logical child I have met. And of course you can say what she calls me. No probs 🙂

  27. Tanishka says:

    Lol… RM, R ko chocolate give karo na 😀
    ROFL @ R’s story… But actually that’s what a tiger would do when he sees a deer na… She is a realistic writer 😛

  28. Smitha says:

    R is a darling! Her language skills are truly wonderful! It takes talent to mix and match so well! And who knows, she might be the pioneer in some new language 🙂

    Her story is wonderful! That’s how a story should be :)Its got a plot, it has characters, it has logic – what more can you ask for 🙂 Hugs to the little darling!

  29. anisnest says:

    😦 isn’t R not using any tamil word these days.. **sob sob**
    lol on the listening to radio incident.. have been there many times RM 🙂
    he he heee… appa drinks hot and cold chai?
    And listening to our conversation.. tell me more about it RM.. when Adi was 3 or 4 when every I try to convey something to M the message will reach the little girl faster than the father..

    Hey the onion and story reminded on something.. do you know why we cry while cutting onions? I don’t remember where I read this story. Might be in your blog. If so, please forgive me re..
    Its like there are few vegetables and one day they talk about who will cry when they die. each vegetable counts on the others to cry where onion gets the last chance. So, there in no one to cry for onion and when onion complained about this to God, God said “don’t worry whenever you are cut I will make the whole world cry for you”.. the story can be lapotified with all add-ons.. Something tells me that you might know this story already.. do you?

  30. ROFL at her story…moral of the story: tigers and deer can never be friends!

    And I love how she mixes so many languages to communicate. It’s the cutest thing ever! 😀

  31. hitchy says:

    nothing gory in that story… !
    That is nature !

  32. Comfy says:

    She is total free entertainment RM. If we laugh so much reading about her, I can imagine the fun you guys must have. No need for TV or watching movies. Tumhare paas R hei 😀

    And her story – true only no. *runs away*

  33. Deeps says:

    Hilarious hilarious hilarious! For the nth time I love R’s style of talking- the gujhindi dialect must be such a joy to hear :D! She is a darling!

  34. RS says:

    Bwahahahaha! 😀 What an amazing Gory Story! And what’s wrong with that pray? Its such a logical sequence!

    And give her one tightest HUGGIE from me. Really. I WANT to see her talk like that and would love to chat with her 🙂 Sho sho swhweeettt muuahh.

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