The Bribe Story – Part 2

Read part 1 here

and so this is how RD got his payback!

We got a circular from R’s school on Monday that she had to dress as a God/Goddess on Friday for fancy dress…abhi fancy dress and the R family are two parallel lines never intersecting!

RD and I had an argument that night on how I get hyper about stuff and I should stop taking so much tension..so much so, that I told him,  you handle the fancy dress…

On Tuesday, after I had filled in my Tax returns, we discussed it again and he tells me..come on RM, help me out..lets discuss

RM: No, you handle it

RD: oh come on

RM: No nahi

R: yeh aap dono kyon fight kar rahe ho *Hands on hips and all that*

RM: Because I am not helping your appa on your fancy dress

R: Kyun amma?

RD: yes yes..kyun?

RM: You handle it

RD: arey come on RM, you know I cant do it alone..

RM: yes  you can

RD: Arey, I did your taxes na…come now help me with this
and this is called hitting below the belt ..right at the spot where you know the person on the other side just cant refuse you..

Which means that mulakutal is not important…this is! (See Smita bribing is in the family!)

So we worked on the fancy dress…(honestly..God and Goddess – kya theme hai boss 😦 )

RMM had an excellent idea..she says..if you guys are so worried, dont send her to school..and this my darlings comes from a TEACHER! what is the world coming to 🙂

so on wednesday evening we go to the ONLY and nearest dress hire shop…

RM: nana chokaro mate kai bhagwan nu madshe (anything for small kids in form of God/goddess)

Bhai: hahaha XYZ school na cho (you are from XYZ school)

RM is a bit confused till we see….

….there is a huge pile of (I am kidding not!) 80 dresses which are packed and labelled for HIRE! I mean so many parents already had the bright idea of hiring..didnt I mention the R family is a bit slow..but itna slow!

And after talking to that guy, we realise the only costume available is of devi (Which devi dont ask!)

Even Devi would have been upset with that costume (bright eye hurting green, with a rani colour duppatta and fake gold jewellery..tacky eh?)..but remember beggars are no choosers..

RM: Bhai, beju kai costume che? (Any other costume)

Bhai: yes yes and proceeds to take out one which is an even brighter greener shade with jhintak chamkis on it..I almost faint

RM: beja koi bhagwan (any other God)

Bhai: no badha book thai gaya che (no, all of them are booked!)

RM: oh..

So I look at RD and he shrugs and says do what you want..

THis is called apne pairo pe kulhadi marna (Hitting your own leg with your spade..its a hindi proverb Sugar and Spice )

my eyes gleam but brains tell me dont do it..

But RM is RM and RD is wed to her for life…(well at least thats what we believe)

So I say..okie with a very sad face lets pay the advance..

We pay 100 Rs advance and agree to collect the costume the next day

As we walk out

RM: RD that costume

RD: Come on RM, we dont have a choice…..

in the mean time, I have spoken to my parents

RMM apparently thinks very highly of her daughter…

Suggestion 1 of not sending her to school is rejected

so see what she comes up with

RM, whats the point of breaking your head, in an area were we lack are not really talented, do you want to do this..just make her Radha..make her wear a pavadai blouse (appa got a new one for her na! what incentive eh) and then put some flowers in her hair (where is there so much hair amma) and then put some jewellery (which I dont have!) and then she is ready

I love my mother..did I tell you that..she is the most practical female on earth..no seriously!

Then we bounce off ideas with appa suggesting stuff from Shiva to how to make that snake to what not..

anyways, while we chat, I say Gautam buddha…you know he is a God..and why stick to Hinduism..

Ma is like..well good idea

and so coming back to the evening of booking the ‘Devi’ costume..

I tell RD: how about Buddha…

We are still on the bribe thing right? so I have to give my best…unfortunately RD is unaware of my plans…

so he goes..okie

and then I make him take out the saffron towels he uses when he goes to Malai (chalo malai jane ka some advantage! This is advantage #1)

We try and wrap it around R and this is how it looks like 🙂

Check out her chotu choti on the top to depict Buddha 😉

In the meantime R is insistent that she wants to be either Ganesh umachi or Shiva umachi…I keep telling her its not possible babes…no costumes..and then I am no Shruti right? to make it on my own…

so anyways we try to make her learn ‘Buddham sharanam Gachami’ and she is not ready to do it..

after that I show the above picture to one of my friends in office who asks me to make the dhoti longer and then ma says Buddha is identified with his hair and long ear..when we used to earlier, not have so much technology, we used just particular physical traits to identify a person..so Buddha was identified with the hair and the long ears..may be you can make them on cardboard! See this mother of mine
…so on Thursday night..

Bribe being bribe..RM works to her artistic best (which is not even artistic!)

but we decide to chuck the ‘Devi’ costume and stick to Buddha

I cut the hair on the cardboard and R and I colour it and then RD is like its looking good (I thought it looked more like a crown) but like ma says its all about depiction..

then I cut out long ears and put it on..but R is not very comfortable about it right from the start…

anyways having done that..and pleading with R to say ‘Buddham sharam gachami’ she still refuses to say it saying about 100 different versions of it..if God Buddha comes down from heaven, he will have a good laugh 🙂

Next day morning, RD says chalo I will go to work after dropping you guys to the busstop..oh Did I mention that the school was like normal school…you had to take your bag and all that and get into the bus..

I wonder why? because the others who would have hired costumes. I wonder what the kids would have done.

anyways so I put her tights, wrap the towel around her like a veshti while RD ties a belt around it so that it doesnt fall (malai jane ka advantage #2..he knows what will hold a veshti!) , we put a banian for her and then put the other veshti around her upper body which I change like a million times..

I try putting eye liner for her, but bad idea because her whole face is black! she rubbed her eyes…I just wash off everything…

We put the ears and the hair gear…

She is okie with the hair gear but the ears are hurting so RD says chuck it..

and so its Buddha with chotu ears

Then something RD said which made me pause in the total hyper state I was

RD said ‘RM, look we are giving our depiction of Buddha..no one has seen him..and no one knows what he really looks like..we believe that the Buddha ‘We believe in’ looks like this…we are not doing anything wrong..but we cant get the same we you see on the net..so let it be’

and after those words, I just let it be….

RD clicked a few pics leaving you with those…

The Buddha as the R family views it

and so this is how RM had to payback for formfilling that RD did for her..

Balanced couple eh?

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About R's Mom

Not-so-new-mom
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43 Responses to The Bribe Story – Part 2

  1. The Bride says:

    OMG so cute R looks. I’m glad you didn’t go for the chamki hired costume. Homemade ones are so much better but honestly even I suck at these crafty things so it’s a good thing such shops exist for useless parents like us. Honestly, I don’t know why kids schooling should be a test of the creativity of the parents.

    Also, the first thing I thought when you were refusing to help RD was – but he helped you with your taxes no?

    PS: Strictly speaking, is Buddha a God?

    • R's Mom says:

      I sometimes do feel that you need to be a creative parent especially on such occasions..

      Actually, is Buddha a God…even my Appa asked me the same question, but then I told Appa that Buddhism is a religion and hence it has a head who is a God as per me *Errr..he wasnt too convinced..but didnt argue too much*

  2. Shruti says:

    hahaha… the costume is too cute n I love the hair 🙂 ur mom rocks!
    I want to see her face.. put some up on FB.. u r like lapatta there

  3. Wow.. So, my learning of the morning is ‘apne pairo pe kulhadi marna’! Thanks, RM! 😀

    And finally, did R say those ‘Buddham Charanam Kacchaami’ lines??!

    BTW, will I sound rude if I say that the first pic with the big uchi-kondai-Buddha R looks better (and cuter!) than the last one?! 🙂

  4. garima says:

    Completely agree with RD’s thought on one’s own verison of Buddha.There are so many different forms of Buddha (in Bangkok,there is this temple which has varied forms of buddha)R is looking so cute.I so want to hear her say ‘Buddham sharanam gacchami’.And wow what a lovely way of compensating the formfilling with fancy dress preparation.You guys rock.*Touchwood* and all that 🙂

  5. Seema says:

    This is not even a way to payback RD. You did this for R, didn’t ya?? RD, don’t give up. She hasn’t still made up for all the tax filling you did for her. Mulakutal banwaake hi chodo RM se! (Don’t forget to remind her of the marriage vows, okay?) *Sticks tongue out to RM*

    And R ki Amma, in between you wrote ‘Buddham sharam gachami’ … LOL

  6. Seema says:

    Oh Hugs to R. Did the veshti stay throughout the act? Did she say ‘Buddham sharanam gachami’ on stage???

    And mmuah to RMM. She is so so practical and cool!

    • R's Mom says:

      Excuse me…are you my friend or his..hmpf!

      and did I mis spell..what you and Ashwathy are after my life eh?

      I dont know Seema, the teachers didnt say anything..and she had changed her clothes when the bus dropped her to daycare..toh pata nahi 🙂 We did the best we could..so its okie 🙂

      yep..ma is super practical I guess 🙂

  7. summerscript says:

    Aww. Little Buddha is too cute 🙂
    And I like your amma’s suggestions 🙂 Super cool she is 🙂
    *clap clap clap * RM for making that head gear 🙂
    my cousin has 3 small kids and for school function she dressed all of them as Krishna 🙂
    She was telling me that by the time she finished dressing up one the other would have removed everything 😛

  8. Smita says:

    So you can be creative if u really want to be 😛 and I agree with Seema. This is no pay back. You wud have as is done it bas thode nakhre maar rahi thi tum 😀

    R is looking cute!! I am a fan of her choti!!! 🙂

  9. RS says:

    Awww! Thats a simple and sweet God/Guru? And its good that you figured out something to do at home- Your Mom’s cool 🙂 rather than go for that jing chak shop thingy…

    And actually even I loved the R without the crown and all 😛 Sorry!

    And darling, THIS is no way to return RD’s favour ok – RD(If you are reading this) -dont leave her-this was not for you – make her do that dish na…Or anything else that will make her remember her marriage vows 😛

  10. Sumana says:

    Lol loved your skirmishes through the whole fancy dress thingy. The parents need to get an award for the fancy dress along with a prize for the kiddo.

  11. Ashwathy says:

    and this is called hitting below the belt ..right at the spot where you know the person on the other side just cant refuse you..
    This is why they say whatever you do, comes back to you! 😀 😛

    RMM had an excellent idea..she says..if you guys are so worried, dont send her to school..and this my darlings comes from a TEACHER! what is the world coming to
    She forgot she was a teacher…she was just being an indulgent grandmother! 🙂

    In the meantime R is insistent that she wants to be either Ganesh umachi or Shiva umachi…I keep telling her its not possible babes…no costumes
    U wont fulfil her wish also!! Sad you are! 🙄 You said you went to the nearest dress hire shop. Why can’t you go to another shop a little farther away…the next closest one, that is…and get a proper costume?? 😛

    R looks adorable.:) So did she finally say buddham sharanam gachchami correctly? 😀

  12. smitha says:

    R looks so cute!!! And that was such a fabulous idea! Just amazing! Your version of Buddha has to be the cutest around,-

  13. Can’t see the pic for some reason 😦
    But very impressed with the amount of effort you put in(cutting out long ears and all..I am sure I would not have bothered)
    And I love that you sent her as Buddha.( though technically Buddha himself did not encourage belief in any God, his followers worship him as a God)
    Very different and a very practical God( no jhinak minak clothes and jewellery for him)

    • R's Mom says:

      Arey why? I dont know whats wrong!

      I know I know..after Appa and Bride asked me if he was actually God, I was a bit concerned..but I was honestly too lazy to think of doing anything else by then 🙂

  14. Vidya says:

    RM, you have to email me some ‘proper’ pictures of the little buddha.. abhi!!! the kudumi looks nice.. Though the crown-like gear looks good, i think the kondai would have looked awesome.. Hey, did she say the lines?

  15. Bikram says:

    I liked that crown … R looks lovely .. so then tell us what happened 🙂

  16. Scribby says:

    moral of the story: do what RM’s heart says 😀

    R is cho chweet 🙂

  17. Tanishka says:

    Thank god you din’t go for that jhintak costume…. 😀
    Chotu Buddha looks really cute… And that hair which you have cut from a board looks perfect…. 🙂

    PS – RMM was not really wrong… Taking a chutti was not a bad idea… 😀

  18. Rajani Ram says:

    She looks soo adorable!!! and kudos to the two of you to pull it off….. and yes a balance couple indeed!! god bless!! 🙂

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