She often comes up with posts that make me think
do I believe in God?
Yes yes of course I do believe there is someone above there who takes care of us…
I go to the temple every saturday..well almost every Saturday…and when I pray sincerely for someone, it works..but when I pray for myself it doesnt..gah!
anyways but I am not religious..if you know what I mean…I believe in God, but not in the rituals..
When RD and I met, I asked him if he was religious…he said no…but I realise he is…upto a certain extent..for him lighting the lamp or saying a prayer in the morning is important..for me honestly, it isnt…I dont care if I miss it some days..he does…well one good thing is we never force each other views on one another..you want to light the lamp…you do it…if he asks why the lamp is not lit and I shrug my shoulders, he tells me to light it..and if I dont, ..he just does it himself..
When he goes to Sabari Malai, we both follow the vratam…more because its just easy for me…I wouldnt do the cooking twice..one without onions and one with onions..so I just follow it for my ease..but again, if I feel like eating maggi..I do it..or if I go out with friends…I eat whatever…then I dont think, oh RD is going to Malai so I should also follow..
Infact, to be very honest, I am not sure of my views on the entire Malai thing..A belief that doesnt allow women to enter the temple…I am not sure how much I believe in that God (In Sabari malai women of the menstruating age are not allowed!)
Again RD goes to the Malai every year…I dont stop him, he doesnt expect me to follow anything which needs to be done during the Vratam…
We are just practical that ways..and we respect each other’s views
My parents are pretty non-religious..at least my dad is..I dont think he even went to temples till he got married to Amma….
Amma on the other hand is very practically religious…(I should patent this word)
She is not like my Patty, who got up early on festival days and make prasadam before the sun rose or something,..she does have her prasadams done but she is okie with it being later in the day..she never forces my bhabhi to do anything..infact I think my bhabhi is more religious than amma 🙂 and often tells amma to do this for this God yaada yaada 🙂
RD’s side is very religious…my MIL doesnt enter the kitchen without a bath, she doesnt drink her coffee till her prayers are done..she does some 100 upvas in an year including santoshi mata every Friday and stuff….she is very particular about the way a certain food item for God should be made, not touching anything else, etc etc…
She tried asking me to keep Tulsi for God every thursday or put unboiled milk to God everyday..but I dont do it..and now she has stopped asking me..she does it when she is around and she knows I dont do it..but she doesnt force me into anything..and I definitely respect her for that…
Another thing is horoscopes…I just dont believe in them….I dont think I ever will..though I must admit that RD and I had our horoscopes matched before our parents went further…in my family the horoscope was matched more because of my patty (my mom’s mother) who is the only living grandparent I have, wanted it to be done..my dad doesnt believe in it one bit and ma doesnt bother either…
But since Patty was keen and I wasnt finding a guy for myself (much to my parents worry!) we decided to check horoscopes and stuff…
RD, on the other hand, does believe in horoscopes..My MIL goes to an astrologer in Calcutta and often gets our horoscopes checked…you know, why we are having such a problem, etc etc…while RD believes, I dont..infact the last time we were there, MIL and RD went to him, while R and I shopped at Lake Gardens heehe 🙂
he does the needful and I dont..again he never pushes me and I dont stop him…both of us believe in ‘live and let live’
and again my MIL has stopped suggesting that I do certain things like pray to this God or do this pooja as the astrologer suggests..she has understood that I dont believe. Period. Full Stop.
I have no issues with people who do rituals or do elaborate poojas..to each his/her own..but then I do get bugged when people start expecting, forcing their views on others…
like, you HAVE to have a bath before you enter the kitchen or you HAVE to pray to this God on Wednesdays, ..boss, mera God, meri Prayers..why do I listen to you?
But again, I have a question, if you dont believe in a particular ritual, will you do it to please the other person?
When I think about it, in my thought/virtual/dream world…I would rather just refuse politely…
but in reality, I have often ended up doing rituals just to please the other person..which is stupid if you ask me…I mean, your heart and soul are not in it..will God really listen?
But again, better than bad relations, just go through a 4 hour ritual?
When R was six months, we went for her Chorunn (the first time a baby is given rice) We did it in the local temple in Mumbai..I didnt want to do it..I didnt want to make a fuss with a six month old, but relatives were insistent and we did it…we did it in the temple..R bawled her voice off…it was exactly what I expected..total confusion..but I still went ahead with it!
On her first birthday, I was clear that I didnt want the ‘aayush homam‘ the elaborate first birthday celebration with a homam and all that… RD stood by me and we didnt do it..and of course my aunt expired as well..so couldnt have done it anyways..
Of course of all the things I dont follow, one of the things I do follow, is not go to the temple when I have my periods..which when I think about is stupid…I mean does God really bother whether I have my mensus or not when I pray…of course the logic behind not entering the kitchen or not going to the temple in olden days was more to do with the fact that there were no sanitary napkins and it was one way the lady of the house, who otherwise was burdened, got to rest…
As usual, my post has gone into a tangent..so here is what I have to say 🙂
1) Religion is very very personal…you dont need to share it with anyone..including your parents, children or spouse or sibling
2) What is right to you may be wrong to me..but I will not interfere in your way of praying and you dont please interfere in my way
3) Dont expect other people to follow your rituals..its wrong, and you are not only being a pain in the wrong place, even God isnt interested in uninterested people
4) Never impose your religion and never put that doubt ‘in the name of God’ in the other person’s mind..its as bad as scaring someone ..and then if the other person gets this doubt that ‘if I had listened to XYZ, this would not have happened to me’ its even worse
5) Live and let live like RD and I…you follow your way and I follow my way…I teach R what I want and he teaches R what he wants..again we never interfere
you know what….just go and read S&S’s post..its just easier to understand what I am trying to say 🙂