The Case of the Confused Character

and thats me or rather its R if you consider the roots

I am the most confused person RD has ever married..not that he has married often..just once..but in 5 years he has realised that he has married a confused character..

I confuse easily…whether I take the bus or rick, whether I eat pani puri or sandwich, whether I buy chocolate ice cream or tender coconut ice cream, where RD should be taking the day off because R’s daycare is closed on Friday or whether I should take it..you do get the drift na

and this confusion is pretty deep rooted….especially when its got to do with my roots…

When I married RD, loads of people thought I was a Gujarati who had married a Bengali

but in reality we are Tambram married to a Tambram with proper horoscope matching and Gotram seeing (read the Jab We Met series)

so how does it work?

I speak pretty decent Gujarati..and my Tamil is well..its …well you know how it is when you dont stay in the state and  have non Tamil friends…its like that…okie for example I will give you an idea of my Tamilness…I sang the song ‘ayer padi maligayil’ in RD’s cousin’s daughter’s cradle ceremony and one lady (who thought I was a Gujju because I was speaking to some neighbour of theirs who was Gujju in Gujarati) told RD I have a good voice to sing that ‘Gujarati song’ but I should learn some Tamil songs…

See…thats how my accent is!

and then of course RD and I often communicate in Hindi or English..

RD just for the records, speaks flawless Tamil, Malayalam, Bengali, Hindi and English (Gah!) and he can understand Gujarati (what he is married to me and his daughter goes to a Gujju dominated school and we stay in a pretty Gujju dominated area of Mumbai, so no choice as such) and Marathi

I for the records speak typical Mumbaiyya Hindi, passably decent Gujarati, pretty okish English, slightly sad Tamil and about 10 words of Malayalam and 10 words of Bengali and about 50 words of MArathi…but I can survive in Kerala, WB and Maharashtra without any probs 😉

and so if we examine R’s roots – She is completely Tambram okie..right from her great great great great grandparents till her parents..but kahani mein twist hai because

R’s Mom is born in Calcutta
because RM’s Mom  has been brought up in Calcutta completely from the age of 1 till she got married to RM’s Dad  after which they shifted to Baroda

and RM’s Dad has been brought up in Madras after being born in Kerala and did his higher studies there and moved to Mumbai to do his PhD..so basically RM is a mish mash in herself

RM did her education in Baroda completely which is why the strong Gujju connection

RD on the other hand has been brought up in Calcutta and did his higher studies from Aurangabad and Mumbai….RD’s parents were both educated in Kerala and moved to Calcutta post the wedding..

so thats why RD is a mish mash but not as bad as RM

and hence R is the height of mish mash..

and often people around us think we are cool, because we understand a lot of languages between us, speak none perfectly and nod at the rest with a lot of enthusiasm

the funniest part is that non of us have married out of caste or even out of the sub caste and yet we have managed to bring so much variety in our lives…

So while I hardly cook south indian dishes, I have a lot of gujju and north Indian food in my kitchen, my mom cooks a lot of gujju and bong dishes and my MIL cooks a lot of Kerala and bong dishes

and RD is super great in all these exotic dishes which I attribute to my influence actually to that hostel life of his 😉

anyways once Vidya of the Vyas Varun fame asked me whether I understood Tamil and then Tharani whose life is on a roller coaster ride asked me if I didnt understand Tamil..so to both you ladies..I do understand Tamil..but its only when its spoken by close relatives with a big sprinkling of Malayalam words in it…

If you set me loose in Madras, trust me, I will be lost for ever 🙂

Forget all that, I wish I could speak Parseltongue..that would be the coolest ever!

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About R's Mom

Not-so-new-mom
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18 Responses to The Case of the Confused Character

  1. The Bride says:

    So admire all the languages between you. Wish I could speak more than one properly!

  2. Tharani says:

    ROFL…
    That means we will take it as you don’t know Tamil.. Right 😉
    I just want to catch the next train and come to Mumbai just to listen to you sing, “ayer padi maligayil” .Ahhh what fun that would be. Or else you come to Chennai, I will teach you tamil Okie (Only if you sing the song)
    Parseltongue???? Sigh!!

  3. Comfy says:

    I stayed in 7 different states growing up and the end result was that I refused to learn any local language. What was the point? We would move any ways. But honestly we stayed in dominantly hindi speaking states and the rest of the place I got by with English so never did bother.

    D on the other hand was born and brought up in one place and his hindi roots are so strong that sometimes when I talk to him, I get the feeling that I don’t know the language at all 😐

    But yeah I think you guys (RD and you) are so cool to know so many different languages while D and I stuck with Hindi and English 😐 and I bet R will learn Hindi, English, Marathi and Gujrati for sure because most kids staying in Mumbai know all these languages. How lucky is she going to be. 🙂

  4. RS says:

    Confused – no! Diverse – YES! I think R will also be very good in speaking multiple languages and like I always say – you can never learn enough languages! Its always good to know many -atleast you will know if someone is giving you gaalis in another langauge! 😛

  5. Chatterbox says:

    🙄 with so connections to so many places and an understanding of so many languages, I guess you are at more of an advantageous condition than in a mish-mash. afterall you are capable of catching up on what a wiiiide variety of population says….that’s very advantageous in ametro like Mumbai 😀 😀
    As far being a confused soul…am one of your kind, just a superlative degree case 😉 😉

  6. Aishwarya says:

    shabbaaa..your family is a mini-mini India to be precise! But I envy R as how many languages she will speak when she grows 😉 She can almost survive in any part of India!

  7. R's Mom says:

    @The Bride: Aiyo we dont speak any of them properly…okie..not we…I dont speak 🙂

    @Tharani: come come to Mumbai..along with the singing, I will also give you some food to eat 😉 Hand made eat at your own risk 🙂

    @Comfy: SEVEN states..wow babes..you sure had a rocking childhood…you didnt have the languages as subjects in school? of course if you were in CBSE then it would be different 🙂

    D speaks very shuddh Hindi is it…isnt that awesome…imagine D and me speakign to each other..

    RM: Arey, kaisa hai tu? (typical mumbaiyya style)
    D: hum theek hai, aap kaise hain

    Midst which RD will be hitting his head against the wall saying arey dont call everyone ‘tu’ heheeh 🙂

    @RS: Confused babes confused..I often end up talking Gujju in front of Tamilians and vice versa..and the worst part, I dont know Gaalis in any of the languages..damn!

    @CB: you are confused is it..awesome

    @Aishu: Total mini India rey..I dont know about how many languages R will speak, but as of now she speaks ONLY typical Mumbaiyya Hindi!!!

  8. ashreya says:

    nice nice.. i am just thinking what will happen if R learns all the languages. hope R marries a foreigner , then you can learn some french, spanish,german etc etc also.. :). but why you are confused. others have to get confused na..
    i am also inspired ti write on how many languages i know( little little ok).. will let you know after i write..

  9. Bikram says:

    Hmmm I know neither gujarati nor tamil or bengali esshhhhhhh so how am i going ot talk to you 🙂

    but the best is R will have so much knowledge , learn so many languages … Blisss…

  10. Why leave out Oriya and Kashmiri, lady?? 🙂 Just kidding! 🙂

    You know what, I envy you so much, RM. You are assured that you can manage wherever you are with the number of languages you know. I hate not knowing anything more than English and Tamil, that too, primarily Hindi. Being in Hyderabad, not knowing both Hindi and Telugu, is becoming increasingly difficult to survive. I try my hand at Hindi, (‘cos I know totally some ten words in Hindi as against nil in Telugu) with my maid and the auto drivers here, who are forced to bear the brunt of the ‘language assassination’ I do. There are a lot of times when what I say translates to something completely opposite of what I intended to! 😦

  11. Ashwathy says:

    I am now envious…..there is a beauty in being able to blend in so many cultures and not lose your own identity in the process0 🙂

  12. Tanishka says:

    Lol at we understand a lot of languages between us, speak none perfectly and nod at the rest with a lot of enthusiasm…. 😀
    This is actually super confusing… For a moment I thought I was on an India tour… 😛

  13. Pepper says:

    At first you were talking about being confused while making choices (bus or train, which flavour of ice cream?) and I was nodding my head saying “me too” and was in fact going to direct you to a post I had written regarding the same confusion.

    And then you switched to the topic of diversity. Why is that related to confusion? 😀 You are diverse! Not confused.

    Being diverse is such a wonderful thing. I always try to tell people that when they want to hold on to their rigid ways. Like I said, between Mint and I, we can speak English, Tamil, Telugu, Hindi, Marathi, Sindhi, Punjabi, Gujrati and Konkani. 🙂

  14. C’mon RM I can’t call it Confused, in that case we all are confused because decision taking is never an easy game for anyone.We are just like you and RD, between R and I we can speak 6 languages and we I add Chucky then 7 🙂 She speaks spanish these days. I am sure R will learn many languages just like you did and we are going to be proud of her..

  15. R's Mom says:

    @Ashreya: Wouldnt that be the coolest…if R marries someone who is not Indian..then she would learn that language as well..but bechara fellow..he will have too many languages to learn 🙂

    @Bikram: I speak Hindi boss! thoda mumbaiyya with tereko and mereko and all..but definitely speak hindi 🙂

    @S&S: Okie..next target is Oriya…I just got one new oriya colleague 😉 I will leave R with you for about 10 days…you will become proficient in Hindi..my in laws who didnt speak Hindi till about an year ago..are so fluent in it..that what to tell you 🙂 thanks to R

    @Ashwathy: Aiyo..your line is so superb..I dont even know how to reply

    @Tan: heheheh 🙂 Hey but I do speak good Hindi when I talk to you na 😉

    @Pepper: I did read that post of yours 🙂

    Babes..diverse means that you speak all the languages well..in our case its a bit of all 🙂

    and you and Mint speak so many languages gasp!

    @LF: Chucky speaks Spanish..I read that..wow…I wonder if I should leave R (I am talking about my R here ;)) with Chucky for 10 days…R can teach her Hindi and Chucky can teach her Spanish..wouldnt that be the coolest ever 🙂

  16. Sumana says:

    So cool with all the mish mash. Here we think we are a great mishmash with being tambram and speaking Kannada and butler Tamil or whatever you call. Trust me my tamil is not great either, but we try to keep it going generations to generations.

  17. Vidya says:

    Hey R, yours is a perfect bhelpuri case:)
    Its nice knowing many languages and we need not perfect it at all… Its fun to be listening to and speaking in diff languages.. My dad had a transferable job and my mom had lived for a while in Shahabad before moving to Hyd.. She could speak flawless Urdu, Hindi, Marathi, Tamizh and Telugu.. When she moved to B’lore after marrying my dad, she could speak Kannada as if it were her mother tongue:) She and her sisters usually had their convos in marathi mostly and sometimes in hindi.. My sis and I inherited that trait and could speak Marathi as fluently as Telugu/Tamizh. We were exposed to Kannada and Malyalam in B’lore.. Overtime, we lost touch with Marathi… So R will have + 1 of both yours put together:)

  18. R's Mom says:

    @Sumana: Wow..you speak Kannada as well…whats Butler tamil?

    @Vidya: your mom can speak Urdu, Hindi, Marathi, Tamizh and Telugu and Kannada..isnt that the most awesome thing…so you do speak Hindi na…thats good enough babes..if we ever meet, apart from English..we have a common language to talk in 😉

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