Sangi tagged me on this one
According to the tag, I have to
1.Write about 2 instances where you have put yourself before your child/ children… been a wee bit selfish.
2.How did you feel? Did you feel a pang of guilt or were you comfortable?
3.Tag 2 more moms
and then Sangi writes that…
Okay, so motherhood and guilt don’t go together for me. I wouldn’t even call doing things without kids as selfish. I am a person too and kids alone can’t define my life, major parts as they are of it. It would be unfair to me AND them if I were to make them the focal point of my life.
I loved these words..I am going to keep coming back to them everytime I feel guilty…
And trust me Ashwathy rightly pointed out to me in one of my earlier posts that I get too worked up and guilty about R in various aspects..which is true…I am slowly realising that it doesnt make sense to get guilty and worried about everything in life…R has to be brought up to fight her own battles and treat her life as her own and I cant live her life..or expect her to live it the way I want it to be..I can only be a means of providing the path, not a means to lead her life
Having said that, two instances of selfishness…
1) Often on Saturdays, I leave her at the daycare..I even left her on Monday despite of it being a holiday..mainly because she asks for her daycare, and secondly because it gives me some spare time to clean the house or cook the idli bater or molagapodi…it gives me a bit of a relief as well otherwise when she is at home, she doesnt let me do too much…of course, I do feel guilty about leaving her especially when I spend the day at home (sometimes, saturday mornings are at the banks, etc etc) but I do have the guilt factor there
2)Eating something without her..and I am often guilty of that…you know how you sometimes are totally hungry at work and order one sev puri..then when I am eating it..I imagine R wanting to eat it as well and get a bit guilty which by the way is really stupid because her day care gives such awesome snacks in the evening..that she needs to feel guilty about eating them without me gah!
I suffer from mommy guilt often when she is unwell and I have to leave her and come to work but surprisingly when I went for three weeks to London, I wasnt really affected too much…I mean I didnt have too much guilt at that time…may be because RD was with her and so were my inlaws…my MIL treats R like a precious God or something…;)
All in all, I think I take more guilt on daily non-issues than really relevant big ones 🙂
Now to tag other mommies
Sugar and Spice who had the super cute twins Kau and Keer
You girls can spread the tag 🙂