Its a Maid, Its a Cook, Its Husband

RM is going in the office bus at 5 in the evening *Preens and does some virtual dancing here, please clap and all that*

RM is sitting next to this lady…and picks up her phone in style to speak on the lady in question can obviously overhear/eavesdrop only what I am from her perspective

RM on the phone : you okie?
Keep the rice na
There is dal in the fridge
I will come home and do the tadka..oh you will do it..super nice..theek hai…fine fine chalo bye..see ya

Lady: your inlaws are still seem to speak so friendly with them

RM: no they left na
Lady: oh so you were speaking to your maid or got one is nice na!
RM: huh! no I was speaking to my husband
Lady: What? you told your husband to keep the rice and the dal
RM: Perplexed now, yes
Lady: and he agreed!

RM: *thinking that this was going to be one of those ‘oh my god, your husband is so great’ conversation* yes yes and he also will make some egg curry since I like it and upar se ensure that the clothes are put in the washing machine, dried, yesterday’s clothes are folded AND R’s uniform is ironed
Lady: Shocked..He does so much for you
RM: Thinking – Gosh its the same old story!

Yes he does and before you ask me anything else, he does because he likes to do it, he loves me and he wants me to rest properly so he helps me out

Lady: kahan se mila rey aisa husband (Where did you find such a husband?)
RM: Amused – horoscope dekhe shaadi kiya (I got married after seeing the horoscope and all)
And the lady is shocked..because apparently I look the ‘love marriage’ types as per her

God! I am so pakoaed with this stereotyping that its not even funny now…

I give up…I definitely give up….


obviously, RD has his moments of irritation in terms of not listening when I am calling from the kitchen or plonking in front of the TV or sitting on that laptop or going through his mails ALL THE TIME on his phone..and I do get so so bugged at that…but then if he cooks or folds the clothes or cleans R’s bum, he is the greatest husband ever!
Ladies, its time to stand up, your husbands cant expect you to do everything…you work as much as they do..and you are entitled to as much rest as they do.
I am not thankful to RD for doing all cooking or cleaning…just the way he is not thankful to me for getting up in the morning to give make his dabba or keep the house clean..we do it because we love each other, we do it because we need to do it, we do it because we care for each other…both of us believe that we are equal partners in a marriage, I wonder why people dont seem to understand that..and funniest part is..all these questions to me about ‘how great is your husband’ come to me from ladies..working ladies…ladies who slog their ass off at work and then go home to do the same…and these ladies complain about how their husbands dont take their children’s homeworks or just plonk themselves in front of the TV all the time when they get home..arey but you need to tell them to help you na…I am sure they will…

When, when when will these ladies learn? *Exasperated*

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14 Responses to Its a Maid, Its a Cook, Its Husband

  1. Gayu says:

    Touchwood ji….cho chweet of RD:)If only all husbands be so supportive…!!!!!!//we do it because we love each other, we do it because we need to do it, we do it because we care for each other…both of us believe that we are equal partners in a marriage// a powerful message.When we do things out of love…we never complain or crib.I am still waiting for your mail da:PTake careGayu

  2. RS says:

    I completely agree with you! Those things that the hubby does are always high-lighted where as we are doing everything else and its 'understood' that we HAVE to do it!You got so irritated that you voluntarily told that lady all that is it? 🙂

  3. Anonymous says:

    Yeah its really sad to know that such comments come from women in this era where we talk about women revolution and equal rights to them.If we women ourselves are not conscious about our rights and consider the household work as our duty then its we who are at loss and no one can really help us.I really pity these women not coz their husbands dont help them but coz these women dont realize that there is something really wrong and they need to speak about it.There is no division of work (on the basis of type) mentioned anywhere in the world and I completely agree with your point that husband and wife help each other coz of love ,care and ofcourse humanity (how can one see his wife managing both office and home and get overburden while you come home from office and do nothing.She is as tired as you are).I am blessed with such a mil who helps me completely with cooking but still when I am in kitchen my husband makes it a point to help me in some or the other way.Both of us spend some 9 hrs in office and get completely drained but this mutual help brings much needed joy,love and care for each other.~Garima

  4. Anu thati says:

    i am sure that lady would want to go back in time and marry someone with horoscope matching.. ya, i agree with you RM, husband and wife are equal partners, they need to share work as life.even my mom gets surprised when she see's my husband clean my daughter bum in my absence, she scolds me for that. ( not because she is stereo-type women, just because she is jealous).i uploaded my daughter's pic in my blog.. chk it out.

  5. The Bride says:

    I understand these comments from the older generation but in our generation I don't know why women put up with slaving away singlehandedly. I have seen women, doing extremely well in their jobs, even when they move abroad where the social pressure is less and there are other models available, doing the same thing. In these cases, they have only themselves to blame and I don't really get it when they moan.

  6. Ansh says:

    I don't think these ladies are going to learn ever. All they will do is to expect their husbands to help without even asking them to do so and when they don't do it, they keep bugging other ladies with their complaints. But Cheers to you Well said…Stay at home moms have different stories to tell. I am a stay at home mom (left my job after my son was born) and my initial period of motherhood was frustrating. I would think why should I do all this house work when my husband gets to go out everyday. I used to forget that he has gone to earn for us and not for a picnic. But when I started to look at my housework as my job in this period of life, I felt like an equal partner to my husband. Now, we together carry out our responsibilities to take care of our family. He earns and I manage to the household like a true manager. I have actually made a organizing notebook for myself to help me carry out my job efficiently. I keep a record of everything so that we don't miss any appointments or bills and therefore try to save as much money possible. When my husband comes back he feels relaxed and takes the necessary rest and then joins me in the rest of the work. On weekends we share the work so that we both can enjoy our time together. And you will never hear my husband saying "Sara din ghar mein beth kar karti kya ho?".

  7. R's Mom says:

    @Gayu: thanks a lot. glad you got the mail :)@RS: exactly..when they do it..its like wow you are so lucky!! errr..yes I told her all that just to add fuel to the fire..idiotic move when I think back now..but I was getting so bugged@Garima: isnt your MIL a sweetheart :):) Yaa its good your husband understands you so is bugging na that we women ourselves dont seem to be conscious that a relationship is always two ways@Anu: Bah! knowing her I am sure thats what she did 😉 your daughter is so so adorable…feel like gobbling her up nad her name is really sweet rey :)@The Bride: I am pretty surprised that women do this abroad as well!!!@Ansh: I LOVED your comment..what a refreshing way to accept that you were at fault and then work around glad you dropped by to comment this way…

  8. Richa says:

    It happens with me too when my ex-colleagues would be saying 'kitna kaam karati hai apne husband se'… Instead of telling them anything I would just smile proudly. But you gave her the right reason. And I second that. In marriage both are equal partners, a woman is not just born to work in office, at home or everywhere. The husband must share the duties as well.

  9. Bikramjit says:

    awwwww blesss what a lovely couple 🙂 good one R and RM and RD 🙂 god bless I learnt cooking the hard way never did anything at home , came here and had to , got tired of the pizza dna burgers and fish and chips .. SO now I can cook oh yess .. I do take help of internet and some lovely blog friends.. You are so right gone are those days when the ladies do everything athome and the men restd , its mutual and all needs to be shared .. cause generally ladies too go out to work , so it shud not be expected that they go and work and then do all the house work too.. sharing always help moreover I think I can cook better chicken anytime , so i would like what i cook he he hehe 🙂 I wonder if the lady went home and asked her hubby the same the nwhat happened .. hey maybe tomorrow if you are sitting with her ASK HER 🙂 please please .. thoda gossip is good na .. Bikram's

  10. R's Mom says:

    @Richa:I smiled proudly..isnt that cute :)@Bikram: thank you ji 🙂 RD was also in hostel for a long time..may be that helps definitely 🙂 I am sure your future wife is going to have a super nice time with you around :)you said chicken is it…my dad and bro would be drooling over that 🙂

  11. weourlife says:

    I like your answer RM, and I do believe same, It is impossible for us to manage work, kid and home alone with no help from our better halfs, here in US most of my friends have their husbands involved in each activity, in India it still considered male working household stuff as a crime..I hate it, but I am glad its changing.

  12. Tanishka says:

    "We do it because we love each other, we do it because we need to do it, we do it because we care for each other…" These lines said it all…..I found this post very cute…. 🙂

  13. I completely agree with you… it is the ladies who make it sound as though it is out of the world…. you have been blessed with a wonderful husband.. really happy for you… I am sure any loving husband would understand (after a lot of effort of coz) that his wife would love his help in carrying out the work of the house efficiently…

  14. R's Mom says:

    @LF: Yes of course in the Western world its practically impossible to think of doing everything yourself!@Tan: thanks darling :)@Cocktail party: thanks 🙂

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