Depressed, Disgusted and Disillusioned

Today is a sad morning…a very sad morning…and I am depressed because of

1. The blasts in Mumbai

2. The rains which are never ending

3. PMS

and in that order..

The blasts shoke me yesterday…I refused to believe RD when he told me after I reached home that there were blasts in Mumbai…we couldnt see too much of TV because Tata sky was not working due to the rains..

RD rushed to office and spent the whole night there…

I wonder why do people want to kill innocent people just to prove a point..what is the point…what did the innocent do..why does mumbai face these blasts almost every other year….what is the point of taking the life of people who are normal human beings minding their own business, trying to live life one a day and get alone with their jobs without bothering other people..what is the point of killing such people…what will you achieve….

do you think the government will improve, or there will be instant richness or that world will become equal..or that your God even agrees to this…I am depressed, I am disgusted and I am disillusioned with mankind…what is the point?

and then today is a very very rainy day in Mumbai..its as if the rain Gods are crying over the blasts…

The rains havent stopped since yesterday night..

RD was at work the whole night…I got up in the morning,cooked food, checked out if school buses were going and got R ready..FIL, R and I armed with raincoats and umbrellas braved the rains and got into a bus..
it was wet and we couldnt see more than 5 metres ahead in the rains..

We got off at the market and started searching for a rick..we searched and searched and searched..some ricks were full, some refused to come despite pleading that the child’s bus would go..some didnt even stop..I was cursing Mumbai rains, I was cursing rains in general and cursing the whole world and its rickshaws..

FIL went on each corner of the char rasta trying to catch hold of any rick possible..but one came…finally he got on the other side and this side one rick agreed to come..I got R in because it was pouring..I told him to wait while I call my father…I shouted ‘Appa’ and there was a bus standing right between his and my view and he didnt see me and I didnt see him..I was in a dilemma because I didnt have the guts to leave R alone in the rick, I didnt have the guts to get R out of the rick because that guy may just go away and I had got him after 15 minutes..I shouted again Appa Appa, the whole road, the three buses full of people, everyone was staring at me…I was screaming..Appa Appa please come here..and I saw FIL get out of another rick (he had pleaded to another guy!) and rush towards me…poor fellow was completely drenched (the things grandfathers do for their granddaughters!)
he came in, and we rushed to the bus stop…
the bus hadnt come..I told R that my bus will come early today since it was raining..she agreed not to cry

then I crossed the road and waited for my bus only to realise that my WHOLE BAG WAS DRENCHED..everything..right from my I card to phone to wallet to book to the damn sanitary napkins bah!

I kept calling FIL and he kept telling me that R’s school bus has not yet come…

Then at about 8.15 he called up saying that the bus is not coming, the school is off, the road to her daycare is completely flooded with water till the knees and he was taking R back home..

I couldnt do a thing..I was like okie..RD was going back home after staying awake the whole night…I told him to drop R to the daycare since he had not slept through the night…

when he called up the daycare, they said that no way they could open because of the now RD is at home unable to sleep because R refuses to let him do so, troubling FIL and I hope RD keeps his patience…

I am feeling so low at this moment that I am cursing myself for coming to work…I cant go home..its raining too badly and I have work…I know RD is very very tired..if he hadnt been awake the whole night, there would be no issues…

but today…I feel bad..bad for my FIL who had to get wet, bad for my child who missed her fun daycare and bad for RD who cant sleep…

Its one of those mornings, when whatever you try, you just cant be positive…I have tried very very hard to really like the rains, especially this season with most of you blogger friends reminding me of hot vada pavs and pav bhajis and cutting chai and makai on the cob and everything…but somehow, its just not working…

I know the rains are very very necessary for the sustenance of the earth and I sound like a selfish ass when I say that I hate them…but I seriously hate them 😦

PS: Just wanted to thank you all for the sending in emails and comments. I am touched…we are all fine and as far as I know my friends, their parents, siblings, friends sab fine hai…I only hope justice prevails fast


About R's Mom

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32 Responses to Depressed, Disgusted and Disillusioned

  1. starry eyed says:

    Hugs. Had a lousy start to the day myself…this weather seems to be triggering off bad moods, sickness and difficulties. Hope your FIL is okay. Cheer up…sometimes we try our best, and have to just let go and let things remain scewed up 😦

  2. The Bride says:

    Gosh what a wet mess! I don't see why you should love the rains. People can love the rains when the infrastructure is good and they don't have to endanger thier health and thier lives trudging through filthy muck and landing up in school/office wet and tired braving the horrible traffic. I'm sure people living in bastis whose houses get washed away or leak don't love the rains. In Mumbai, everyone loves the rains only on the first day because it's a break from the heat and then the whole madness of just trying to get through your life while plodding through slush for three months begins. PS: Glad you all are safe and feeling so sad for Mumbai.

  3. scribblermom says:

    Hugs and sending good vibes to you RM. Though i don't work, things haven't been right for me since morning… I'm listening to music to ward off negativity. Wishing for RD to have all the patience to keep R occupied. tc

  4. apu says:

    Take care, dear. This day too will pass.

  5. vidya says:

    Hugs girl! The moment i saw the news, thought of you.. Did not carry the laptop home so could not reach you.. Take care, be safe..

  6. Oh RM … pls stay positive. I know its hard … one of the tough days understandably …stay positive

  7. Uma says:

    Hi R's glad you and your family are safe!It has been a messy day…and the news is not making it better at all..i have been shedding tears on and off thinking abt the care…cant say much…

  8. Comfy says:

    I can't tell you how glad I am to see your post and know that all of you are fine. Even though I know you don't go anywhere close to the blast areas it is nice to know for sure.Hugs for everything you are dealing with today.

  9. Anonymous says:

    HI RM,Heard abt mumbai blast.Its indeed very upsetting and not at all justified to kill innocent people.Glad that R's family is safe.So also are my cousins and friends in mumbai.Guess you all are lucky people.I understand ur frustrations abt rains and all dat stuff but remember u and all mumbaikars who are safe are so lucky and must thank god.I think this reason is enough to pep u up.Plz be cheerful,for all the problems u mentioned are very less as compared to people who are directly affected by these blasts.May god give strength to the families and rip to the departed souls.Today evening as u reach home do give a tight hug to ur family and thank god for keeping you guys safe and sound.Regards,Garima

  10. Anonymous says:

    Hi R's mom, First of all relieved to know that all of you are safe. Yes this kind of circumstances will add on to PMS and make us feel more depressed. But don't worry this too shall pass.Take careSwarna

  11. R's Mom says:

    @Starry: thanks for the hugs πŸ™‚ yaa gues the weather caught me at a wrong time :(@The Bride: nahi rey..its just circumstances I guess about some people liking rains and some people hating it…I guess mumbaikars are used to the rains..I have grown up in Baroda where the rains werent so harsh or so hard…so I am just not used to it..add to that the rick trouble, sick child, and you have viola! crancky RM your parents and friends all are safe na?@Scribblermom: thank you so much..hope everyone you know is safe@Apu: thanks..yes this too shall pass@Vidya: arey thanks so much that you thought about me…yes we are safe..thanks@CA: aww! thanks dear@Uma: thanks rey..please take care of yourself too…hope everyone you know is safe@Comfy: thanks darling..yes we are all safe :)@Garima: thanks for telling me the positive side of are right…people have lost so much more and look at the selfish me cribbing about some rains 😦 thanks @Swarna: thanks dear

  12. whinymom says:

    yeh barishein hamarey liye zehmat ban jateen hain

  13. Smita says:

    😦 I reached office just now i.e. some 45-50 mins late because it was raining & trains were late :-(The train was super crowded and still there was silence in the ladies compartment, I guess everyone was sombre and counting their blessings.I too am frustrated & irritated like u r….can't even say chill smile because I know they don't make sense!!!But do one thing as soon as the rain stops ya kam ho go home!

  14. RS says:

    RM! Thanks for leaving that comment for me. Got so worked up last night that I just HAD To leave a message for you.I know, its a sad state of affairs there and tough to handle.With the kind of infrastructure tehre and the rains and flooding – no one would love rains Babe! Its ok, FIL,RD and R are all safely at home even if its going to be an irritating day! So, you take care and go home safe too! {{HUGS}}

  15. The Bride says:

    R's Mom, I grew up in Mumbai as did most of my friends and my mum has lived there her whole adult life. All curse the rains, unless they happen to be sitting nice and warm already at home. If you have to use public transport to get to office, or even drive your own car, it's a pain. Why sentamentalise something that is crappy? And rain in Mumbai does not necessarily help the reservoirs or farmers where the rain is needed.

  16. First of all, a big hug, R's mom! Don't worry. This too shall pass. Things will definitely get better.

  17. R's Mom says:

    @Whineymom: and what is zehmet? – Difficulty is it? urdu is a bit kachaa..I am good only in Mumbaiyya Hindi :(@Smita: Thanks dear..I am sure you definitely understand..its still raining here..please go back home yourself asap :)@RS: yes…the positive part is they all are home…thanks for the comment, it sure meant a lot to me..(you know that dont you :))@The Bride: unless they are sitting nicely at home πŸ™‚ Guess you are right…we all curse the rain..I just make a big issue about it πŸ™‚ and so true..rains in Mumbai really are not use to know what will be the worst part of this…even after such a downpour, BMC will ensure water cuts and that will be so grrrrrrrr@Sugar and Spice: thank you thank you thank you

  18. DI says:

    Uh oh 😦 Hope the rains pause, and hope all of you get some time to relax! Lot's of good luck to you!I don't think I even want to comment about the blasts bit. That being said, I do hope all those who are behind it suffer in the most horrible manner.

  19. Bikramjit says:

    Take care R's Mom .. dont worry all will be fine very soon .. just one of those days when nothing goes right .. Take care SMILE .. and the world smiles with you , love to R. Bikram's

  20. awwwwwwwwwwww.. Hugs to u.. I can feel ur pain and frustration.. Life in Mumbai is tough. hang in there R's mom.. my first thought yesterday was of you. such a terrible tragedy.. and that too again.. Why can't India take a stand like US. Punish the guilty so badly that they are never able to rise again.

  21. Rima Kaur says:

    earlier, these blasts would leave me pained.. then i would get angry. now, i'm just numb. and this is what has gripped the whole nation, the whole world. we are getting desensitized.and though this is a very inappropriate place to inform you of this, but i'll tell you nonetheless. for your lovely thoughts and posts, i would like to present you with the versatile blogger award –

  22. Just emailed you.. I m glad you guys are fine.. And as much as I love Mumbai rains…they can get to you,at times:( stay safe and stay dry.. thank God,its Friday tomorrow.. then the weekend!

  23. Anu thati says:

    hey RM, when i saw the news,you were the first one who came in my mind.. good to know that all of you are safe.. just be careful when you go out dear..:)

  24. Pepper says:

    Hugs darling! No you are not selfish for disliking Mumbai rains. They are very unlike rains in other cities. The heavens open up and pour forever. My mom was telling me on phone about the flooding that happened and how the auto agreed to take her home from the station due to high level of water. Needless to say, she hates the Mumbai rains too..I hope things get sorted and you feel better soon. One bit of advice, don't send R to school when the downpour has been this heavy. Most schools choose to remain closed on such days.. so you might just have to return even if you decide to send her..PS – Please move to WP. Blogger is so difficult..

  25. Sangi says:

    Good to know you are doing well. I know you were upset when you wrote this – thought of you among other people in Bombay and am thrilled to see you are all okay. Yeah, the rain sucks. No rain sucks more.

  26. dipali says:

    It's been a sad day, realising that our cities are at the mercy of whoever decides to attack.Plus the rain. Hugs, my dear. I hope tomorrow is a better, brighter day.

  27. Ani says:

    have been reading your blog for a while now and you were the first to come on my mind when I heard the news.. glad to know that you guys are safe.. hugs R's mom..

  28. R's Mom says:

    @DI: thanks dear for the wishes…I agree on what you wish regarding the people behind the blasts :(@Bikram: thanks rey..I guess you are its nice and sunny in the morning Phew on that! @Shruti: thanks yaar..I am sure you understand..thanks for remembering me feels so warm to have such lovely friends@Rima: arey thanks rey…hopping over to your blog :)@Submum: thanks for the sending the email…check karti hoon..yes the weekend is just round the corner..take care of yourself@Anu: Awww..thanks sweet of you@Pepper: hope aunty uncle and sis are fine…Yes yes WP ko shifting chalu kar rahi hoon@Sangi: thanks much…its nice to know that people who havent even met me actually worry about me…its such a warm feeling@Dipali: yes today is a brighter day..thanks :)@Ani:Aww..thanks so much..sweet of you to remember me πŸ™‚

  29. Hugs R's mom, i wish i could say something more cheery but i feel like u..upset i think…Good to know u are ok…!!

  30. R's Mom says:

    @Nuttie: hugs darling..hope all is well at your end as well

  31. Anonymous says:

    Am GLAD to see this post. Even if it is on a depressed you. Hugs!JLT

  32. R's Mom says:

    @JLT: thanks πŸ™‚

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