Sometimes You Need A Teacher to Teach You Parenting

The other day I went to pick up R with my mom and her daycare teacher was outside numbering something and since R was getting into a diaper as we had to take her to the doc, and we were waiting for her, her teacher started ngto me…she told me how R had become extremely talkative, but was nice to others, she had learnt to defend herself incase any other kiddo attacked her, etc etc..

then she told me, for traditional day, please dress her up in proper traditional clothes…well my idea of traditional for her was a kurta pyjama which my mama gave her, which I think is more of boys than of girls…then teacher told me that also give her some necklace and bangles to wear and make her wear girl’s traditional clothes like chaniya choli…

knowing me, I am not too comfy wearing all that and somehow I havent bought any for R at all…

now teacher knows me pretty well so she also said that I know you dont like it but other parents tend to compare…

she said forget the kids comparing their dressing, they just look for 2 minutes and then start playing, its the parents of the playgroup and daycare who start comparing and commenting loudly in front of the kids..obviously R will feel bad even if she doesnt understand because then other kids will start commenting…teacher told me that you may not be interested, but your daughter sure is..she looks wishfully at other kids wearing it..etc etc…

my mom was with me and she agreed to teacher..she told me you dress her up..when she grows up let her decide whether she wants to go ahead and continue with the dressing up or dress down like you do πŸ™‚ she told me about an incident when she was about 9 and had gone to a cousin’s place with her parents and together the family was going to attend a wedding…this cousin was her age and her mom and grandmom dressed her in about 2 -3 necklaces and mom’s parents obviously couldnt afford all that and mom’s face had changed as a child would innocently and honestly, looking at those necklaces on her cousin’s neck…finally cousin’s grandmom understood and immediately gave another one to my mom…imagine my mom remembers this fondly even after 45 years…the impressions always last..
after all this, I sat wondering whether I am doing the right thing by not dressing up R or by not buying her necklaces and bangles…just because I dont like them, should I deny R of what can form her tastes in future life…I think its time to make amendments…need to dress her up and make her wear some bangles and necklace for traditional day at school

While I still refuse to dress her in frocks and skirts because t shirts and slacks are definitely easier to slip on in the morning rush, I will try and see that I dress her properly for the occasion..
Guess it did good that teacher told me all this πŸ™‚


About R's Mom

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6 Responses to Sometimes You Need A Teacher to Teach You Parenting

  1. Seena says:

    nice post..I am sure I will come across this real soon…

  2. R's Mom says:

    @Seena: nah dont do it…buy stuff for your daughter all the time….

  3. I love dressing up Ash, thats the best part about having girls I think :)I guess the teacher knows all the things that go on at school, how in the world would you know that some parents pass comments loud enough for the kids to hear. Thats really insane by the way. Adults should be more sensitive to kid's feelings.

  4. R's Mom says:

    @Priyanka: yaa…actually I should start doing that to R…from today onwards I am going to take it up as a task πŸ˜‰

  5. grace says:

    Hey u'r lucky u gt a cute lil girl to dress up and look at the options avaialable these days… Ian being a boy , i try to get a variety in his clothes. I long to buy those pretty dresses and accessories which girlies these days get… πŸ˜‰

  6. R's Mom says:

    @Carol: yaa you are right..there is so much to buy for girls that its soooooo confusing..thats why I prefer NOT to dress up R

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