10 Golden Rules of Mumbai Western Sub urban Train Travel

I travel regularly by the western line of Mumbai locals and over the past 3 years (ya ya I am a novice!) I have realised there are certain things you must keep in mind if you want to live by the end of the journey…
Rule No. 1: Never, I mean NEVER board a Virar local if you want to get down before or at Borivali..because you will be KILLED, thrown out of the train or just pushed out by mistake….The Dahisar and beyond crowd is very very possessive about their trains!
Rule No. 2: Push..as much as you can..never never try and feel sorry for the old aunty trying to get in..because she will definitely push her way through and you will be left standing staring at the train taking the hanging out there aunty with it…
Rule No. 3: Always start asking if the person in front of you is getting down at your station..at least 2 stations before its yours..so you ask very sophisticatedly….andheri..andheri..as if thats their name or something!!!
Rule No. 4: Always get down asap..never wait..becoz the crowd coming in will never let you ever get down…and stand towards one corner incase you want to get off the next stop…
Rule No. 5: When you get into first class..always talk in English..otherwise you will be looked down upon as if you are a bad smell under their nose
Rule No. 6: The gents compartment is relatively safer because apart from the occasional groping you can be rest assured that you wont be pushed out of the train…though never board the gents compartment when its peak hours..anyways you cant!
Rule No. 7: Always hang your bang in the front..becoz if you have it at the back..there are chances it may not even be at your back when you get off the train…Never get into the train talking on the phone…its the most irritating thing that people have to adjust while you adjust the phone to your ear…
Rule No. 8: Never bring small kids into the train at peak hours..its hell for everyone..kids, yourself and the people who are trying to make themselves as small as possible
Rule No. 9: Never try and get into a fight..if someone shouts at you just keep quiet, smile say sorry or just ignore..because the more you talk back, the angrier the person gets and there is more shouting and then the whole compartment gets crazy at you…
Rule No. 10: When you buy stuff from the vendors on the train..always bargain..it works..(though never for me…I feel so bad for them that I always end up paying extra) and the trains are the best place to get the latest in fashion, eatables, clothes and now even books!
And after all this..the best solution which my hubby feels is ….AVOID TRAVEL BY TRAIN IN MUMBAI…use the road and get stuck in jam for 4 hours..its worth the wait!!!


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6 Responses to 10 Golden Rules of Mumbai Western Sub urban Train Travel

  1. My memories of traveling from Kandivili to Churchgate came screeching back to me! Phew!

  2. R's Mom says:

    @M4: Trust me..its easier than travelling from Kandivali to Andheri…at least one stop you can get off aaram se πŸ™‚

  3. Anonymous says:

    Memories, Memories πŸ™‚

  4. R's Mom says:

    @Anon: hahahahah πŸ™‚

  5. Anonymous says:

    Can sympathize with trying to get off at Andheri. I had to get down at Vikhroli after getting in at Dombivili for 4 months after my marriage. We came to the US after that, so it was just a short time, but definitely can sympathize. And before that, I was one of the lucky ones living in Andheri and working at Seepz! I was the Anon above.Dee

  6. R's Mom says:

    @Dee..Wow lucky you…am I jealous or what!

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